The Many Roles we Carry as Men | Ep.73

[00:00:00] A good reference from the mask movie, right? Like the guy had the book that we all wear different masks. And like, that's how I know my wife, she was very upset when I said, well, I need to be me when I'm with my friends. And she's like, well, what do you mean? Like, you're not yourself around us. I'm like, no, like when I'm with you, I'm your husband. And when I'm with the kids, I'm the father. We have a different persona. Now, same with work, right? At work, I'm going to act differently as I'm acting with my friends.

[00:00:28] Yeah. And so we all need to learn. It doesn't make you any less you. No, exactly. Or it's not inauthentic. We're all different people. Yeah. We all have different levels of who we are and what we express in moments. Like, I don't talk to my wife the same way I talk to you. Yeah. I don't make the same jokes with my daughter that I make with my friends. And that's the thing. But it doesn't mean it's not me. Yeah. It is me. It's a big part of me. Being a husband and a father and a friend or an employee or whatever you want to call it. Like, those are all different versions of me, but they're all me.

[00:00:58] Back to the Quiet Riot Show. Now that Jaguar is off. Jaguar. Jeez. That's a throwback. Can we leave that in there? Yeah. I don't give a shit.

[00:01:33] So some listeners know this, but some don't. Oh, geez. I'm just right out with it. Yeah. Tim used to go under Sad Jaguar at some point on a different podcast. So if you Google something on YouTube under Sad Jaguar, you might find some funny shit. Is there anything? I don't know if there is. There might be. Is there? I've never actually Googled Sad Jaguar. I think the Sad Jaguar song is out there still that we wrote for you. Oh, I can't find it anymore. I have it. Oh, man. Can you send it to me again? Sure. Maybe I can post it. Should I post it in this? Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty funny.

[00:02:03] That was a fun... It was good. Well, a good era. I don't know. What was that? Fun era. That was an interesting time of life for me. Pull. Yeah. We could do episodes on that. Well, and I met you as a Sad Jaguar. It's true. You didn't even know my name. No, I didn't. Nobody knew. Nobody knew my name. Yeah. It's probably better, but now you do. Yeah. You weren't on screen. No. You weren't... No. Yeah. You had a secret identity. And we were listening to this other podcast that you were on, and we were just a bunch

[00:02:32] of people like, who the fuck is this guy? Yeah. Well, and I kind of came in hot on that one. Oh, very hot. Yeah. Yeah. Very hot. Yeah. We could do an episode on that. I would... I mean... What was it? Our first or second episode? I told a bit of my story, how we... A little bit about how we ended up together, but I don't think I talked much about that part of it. I think you talked about... You talked about that as well, that like... Because you went through a really bad breakup, right? Yeah.

[00:02:59] Yeah. Like, that was your story. So, you did talk about it. I don't know. I can't remember. It's been three years ago. And so, I don't know. I didn't talk about being the Sad Jaguar, though. No, no, no. No. There's lots to unpack there. We could talk about that. There's a lot there. It'd be actually a funny... It'd be a funny show, but... There's also a really funny story why you were the Sad Jaguar. And we can maybe have... Sure. Discuss that. We can discuss that on that episode. Do you want to do a show about it?

[00:03:26] I think we should. I think it would be a fun show. Yeah. Just kind of remember, like, you know, the good old shitty days. Well, it was a big part of my life. It was. And it actually was a really important part of my life. Well, it was... I think that was something how you were coping with your... what you were going through. Yeah. I have weird coping mechanisms. Let's call it that. But it's also like how I met my wife. It's how we became close friends. Like, there's so... There's actually so many

[00:03:55] things about it that, like, were just so great. Yeah. No, it's... And I was just such a piece of shit. Well, and that's the thing... Just an awful piece of shit. You know how... It doesn't really matter, because, like, you say you were a piece of shit, but you weren't. No, that... Your persona... My character was... Was... Actually just me, but... But when you get

[00:04:20] to, like, the second layer, I'm actually very kind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And very, like, empathetic and nice. You gotta peel it back. Yeah. But, like, that first layer is pretty rough. Well, and the thing is, like, sometimes, like, you know, a good reference from the mask movie, right? Like, the guy had the book. Like, we all wear different masks. And, like, that's how I... I know my wife, Adriana, she was very upset when I said, well, I need to be me when I'm

[00:04:50] with my friends. And she's like, well, what do you mean? Like, you're not yourself around us? I'm like, no. Like, when I'm with you, I'm your husband. And when I'm with the kids, I'm the father. I can't be... Yeah. I mean, I do joke about farts and stuff, you know, around my kids too. That's true. You do. And your wife. And my wife. But, like, we have a different persona. Now, same with work, right? At work, I'm going to act differently as I'm acting with my friends. Yeah. And so we all need to learn... It doesn't make you any less you. No, exactly.

[00:05:19] Or it's not inauthentic. There's... I think... I don't think I know anyone... Well, maybe there's few people that, like, no matter where they are, that's just who they are. I don't... Yeah. And... But I can say, like, those people are not necessarily... I don't want to say not successful, but, like, they're just kind of stuck in, like, a loop. Yeah. You know? Like, this is the best as it gets, and that's it. There's different... We're all different people. Yeah. We all have different levels of who we are and what we express in moments.

[00:05:49] Like, I don't talk to my wife the same way I talk to you. Yeah. Like, I don't want that. Yeah. I don't talk to my... I don't make the same jokes with my daughter that I make with my friends. Yeah. Like, it... Yeah, absolutely. So... And that's the thing. But it doesn't mean it's not me. Yeah. It is me. It's a big part of me. Yeah. Being a husband and a father and a friend or... And an employee or whatever you want to call it. Yeah, yeah. Like, those are all different versions of me, but they're all me. And so...

[00:06:16] And they're all real. Yeah, yeah. And so at the time, like, you... You were... You were going through something that was... I don't know. Was that something new for you that... To that extent... Yeah. Oh, yeah. There was a lot new about that feeling or those feelings. So, okay. Now, how do you deal with it? Yeah. Right? Like, you don't know. Like, it's not like... No. Oh, a breakup comes with a instruction book. Like, hey, this is how you deal with a

[00:06:41] breakup. No, you're just figuring your shit out. And it hits some people harder and some people can deal with like, oh, okay, you want to move on? All right. Yeah. Goodbye. And then you just move on. Now, I'm jealous of those people that they're doing that. Yeah. I... Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've been in a super long relationship. Like, with my wife, I've been together with her since 2003. Holy shit. So... Yeah. So, like, that's... You know, like,

[00:07:08] I... Let's say we broke up now and got divorced and it would have a huge effect on me. Oh, yeah. And I don't know how I would deal with that, you know? I don't want to think about how I would deal with it. I did it. So... So, yeah. We all deal with things differently. Yeah. I won't go any further because I think we should do an episode on it. Yeah, yeah. So, I won't explain that. But let's park that. But, yeah. So, you were a piece of shit. You were a piece of shit on that episode. But I was a huge asshole piece of shit. But that's...

[00:07:33] That piece of shit is what I think everybody that listened to that show is what loved. I think it was... Yeah. It was needed for that show and it was really... The timing was good and it was right. So, thank you for... Yeah. For feeling super shitty. And, like, sad all the time. And just, you know, like, wanting to jump off the bridge. Yeah. I mean, I'm generally a fairly... I'm not making fun of suicide right now. I'm generally

[00:07:58] a darker, sadder person anyways. Yeah. You don't show emotions much. No, but on... Like, I generally am pretty melancholy for the most part. Mm-hmm. But that was a whole different... Yeah. That was a whole different situation. No, and you're... I've actually talked to my wife about this discussion. Oh, you guys talking about me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. But, like, I just said... When? I'm here all the time. You know. If I can live here,

[00:08:25] I don't know. When were you talking that I wasn't here? I was on the pooper. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you don't come back. I wouldn't be a part of that. No. But, yeah, we just said, like, you don't ask for help. No. You don't show how you're... How you are much. No. Um, I've noticed that once you have one extra drink that, you know, that's when you kind

[00:08:55] of open up a little more. Yeah, it takes a few. And it takes that guard down, right? Sure. And that's totally... Same with me, right? Like, I think anybody that we... When we drop that guard a little bit, then open up and... But... I hate that. I know. But it's one of those things with you. Like, when we start talking about certain things, then you're very honest and you're very open about it. Yeah. You just don't go out the way and like, hey, I'm sad. I want to talk to you now. No, I don't. Yeah. I don't do that easily. Yeah, yeah. But I think a lot of

[00:09:22] people don't. Like, I don't think I'm unique in that sense. No, no. I think it's just who I am. Certain types of people that just don't. Yeah. Yeah. I think part of it's just like, I'm a Mennonite boy. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. We don't do that. Well, and... Historically. Yeah. I mean, and everything has also like how you were brought up too, right? Yeah. What you've seen from your parents and from, you know, like the male figures in your life. Yeah. And I'm assuming with the Mennonites, they're probably pretty tough cookies, you know?

[00:09:51] Like it's... Yeah. Generally, they're pretty... Relatively stoic. Yeah. Like, yeah. And same with like, you know, you ask any European that, you know, grew up in the 80s and 90s, like, yeah, there was none of that sad bullshit, you know? No. Like, just like, and that's what we've learned and that's how we've evolved as people. And I think I'm more open about it. Like, I don't mind talking about how I... If somebody asks me, how are you doing? I'll actually say, well, not too good today, you know?

[00:10:21] They're expecting like, good, you? But... It was a funny... I would literally say... Who has a Tom Segura that does a funny bit about that? Oh, okay. In one of his earlier stand-ups? Yeah, I can't remember, but yeah. No, there's two appropriate answers when someone asks, how's it going? Good, and one other one that was like, just a shit answer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, fine, good and fine. I think it was good and fine, yeah. Bill Burr has a... Or maybe that was Bill Burr. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't know.

[00:10:48] It's about like, one of these, like... No, it's like, good and angry. Yeah, I think... I don't know. Maybe Segura did it too, but... Fine and angry. That's what it was. Yeah, with Bill Burr, yeah. And I was just like, yeah, I'm fine. Leave me alone. Everything goes angry now, yeah. That's what it got. She goes, what's the matter? And I go, I'm sad. She didn't know what the fuck to do. Right? We're not allowed to be sad. We're allowed to be one of two things.

[00:11:16] We're allowed to be mad or fine. That's it. Right? Those are normal behaviors of a man. You can be mad like, Jesus Christ, who put this here? How many fucking times do I gotta say... She needs this goddamn area playing. Jesus Christ. Somebody's gonna fall and break their fucking neck. I'm so tired. Instead of walking, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You're allowed to be that or fine. How you doing, Bill? I'm fine. You sure? Yeah, I'm sure.

[00:11:46] I said it was fine. Why the fuck would I say it's fine? I don't know. Then you're just right back over there. And your whole fucking life is that. Yeah, that's pretty funny. For sure. The story arc of the sad dragon. That would be great. Okay, let's check in.

[00:12:12] Last time you were a two, and then by the mid-episode you were a three. Yeah, I'm probably a three. Three? Okay. Good week. Like, work was a good week. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That was okay. Life's tough. Yep. Yeah. So, I'll say a three. Okay. Yeah. Have you- I have a fucking sinus infection that apparently refuses to go away. You're still dealing with that. I've been fighting with this for three weeks now. I actually received a couple- I'm hoping Monday I can get more relief.

[00:12:43] Yeah, I received a couple messages from some friends that, Tim sounded like shit. Yep. Yeah. And that's what you actually told me after that it's an actual sinus infection. Oh, yeah, no. I was like, yeah, he's dealing with sinus infection. It's bad. I still probably sound like shit. Yeah, well, a lot better than before. Yeah, I did a round of antibiotics, which I fucking hate taking, but if you need them, you need them. Yep. At some point, you just- But now I think I need a fucking second round, because it didn't- I probably waited too long, because I'm that guy. Yeah. Yeah, it'll pass.

[00:13:12] Yeah, I can wait it out. I can wait it out, like, two weeks, and now I fucking- You're going to week three? I feel like shit every day. Yeah. Yeah, it's brutal. But who gives a fuck? I don't know. You don't care. I don't care. It's fine. So you mentioned a couple things that you're going to try to do with improving on your number. And one thing- I can't remember what the other one was, but one thing was that you're going to try to- I'm glad you remember that.

[00:13:38] You're going to try to improve your sleep habits a little bit. Yeah. And we had a little conversation about how much you slept last night, but, like, I think that's part of it also, the fact that you're fighting something, right? I've been actually trying to sleep more. Yeah. And it's actually been pretty easy. Have you tried to, like, create a routine where you go to bed at the same time? Yeah, like, I've been pretty good with that. Okay. The problem is this fucking infection.

[00:14:08] So, like, my body's exhausted. So I'm worried about how that's going to go when I feel better, but I've been sleeping lots. It just doesn't seem to be fucking helping. But I think that's because I'm dealing with something else at the same time. Yeah, yeah. I actually have been trying to sleep on more of a schedule or more diligently. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. And it's been working because I'm exhausted by the time I- Like, by the time it's, like, 1030, I'm like, I'm fucking exhausted. Like, your body's telling you that you need to.

[00:14:38] Oh, yeah. So when this infection's gone and whatever, like, I'm assuming that will be a little more complex to do, but I'm- Maybe this is a starting habit. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. I'd like to get up earlier is what I'd like. For? Just, like, I'd like to change my morning. Okay. And what day? I don't like how I start my day. Elaborate. Uh, I get up.

[00:15:04] Generally, right now, I get up kind of right when I have to, to do the things I need to get done. Okay. I'd like a little, like, bit of free time in there. For, like- Yeah, to read or to- Okay. Just, like- A little Tim time? I'd like to, like, have some Tim time and, like, wake up. Yeah. And, like, maybe actually have a coffee at home. Like, sit in the basement or sit with my wife and have coffee. Because she gets up super early. She does, yeah. She makes coffee every morning. Like, so- Yeah, I know.

[00:15:34] I remember when I crashed at Europe a few months ago and then just, like- Like, at 5.30 in the morning. I passed out in the living room, just, like, brrrr. So loud. Yeah. What the hell? So, I wouldn't mind whether- I don't know what I would do at that time yet, but, like, I'd like to- I'd like to have- I think my end game would be, like, an hour and a half to two hours- Okay. Extra in the morning. Wow. Okay. Yeah. That's quite a bit, but yeah.

[00:16:03] So, like, getting up at, like, 5.30. Okay. That's- That is my plan for- Or six, maybe six. I don't like getting up at five. That is my plan for the summer because, like, I've been getting up now at, like, 3.45. Yeah, you're ridiculous. And, um, so the last couple days I actually got to sleep in a little bit. And, um, it's been really nice to sleep in. Right. But then I'm, like, when I got up and it's like, oh, shit.

[00:16:32] Like, it's like, I left the house today at 8 o'clock. And I was just like, oh, fuck. This would be like my lunchtime would start almost, you know, when I started at 4.30. Yeah. And so, um, there's some changes coming and I will announce that in- Sometime. Yeah, we're taking, we're going to take the summer off. Yeah. And then, so when we come back, I will share some news with you guys. So, something's changing for me. But, yeah.

[00:16:59] So, I definitely want to continue to get up early morning. Not necessarily at 3.30. Yeah, yeah. But I'd like to change that to, like, yeah, like a 5, 5.30. And then, you know, um, spend like an hour of, and I'm going to add quotations, working out. Sure. But it's going to be, I want to do either, it's going to be a physical or mental workout.

[00:17:25] So, whether it's going to be, um, meditation or yoga or walk on the treadmill. Just something. Get moving. Like half an hour to an hour, I want to do that every morning. Nice. Because, you know, I'll set it up in the basement here so I won't bother my family. But, just do something for myself. Yeah. Like, something that's good. Yeah.

[00:17:53] Not just sit down and scroll through a phone. Sure. Do scrolling. Even reading. Reading, right? Like, read a book about something that, you know, will be beneficial. Not just like a novel or something, but like something like maybe an educational book or something. I can't wait until you start sleeping in a bit more. Because every fucking morning I get up to your goddamn text asking me to do something. Every fucking morning I wake up and I'm like, Tommy's asking me to do something. Of course it's a big fucking rush.

[00:18:22] Well, and today, like, yeah. Today he was like. Fuck. I'm so tired of that shit. I'm like, I messaged you at what, like 6 or 6.30? I don't know what it was. And then, well, because I got up, I was like up at 5. So, I'm like, oh, I might as well do some work, right? Yeah. I did that. I get it. And then I was just like, okay. Like, I needed just some confirmation. Like, nothing. All right. That's fine. Then, 8 o'clock, like, still no answer. I'm like. So, then I texted him. He was like, hey, man, everything's good? Like. No, I ignored it today is what I did. Well, I just wanted to make sure that, you know. Yeah, no, I appreciate it. I just, I ignored it. Because usually you don't.

[00:18:51] Because I'm sick and fucking tired of waking up and having to deal with that shit. Well, you know what? Before my eyes are barely fucking open, I'm looking at shit you're sending me. Okay. And you're like, okay, well, I'm trying to get this done right away. Tommy does some work for my company. Yeah. And so, this is what I'm talking about. So, now you heard it first that I will not ask any more questions and I'm just going to do my own thing. I don't want that either. No. If you don't reply. No, false. You're not allowed to do that.

[00:19:19] If you don't reply within two hours, then I have the right to do everything. Nope. Hard no. Picture of you passed out. Yeah, hard no. So, what number are you then? Today, I am a seven. Nice. It's like old me. I know exactly how you feel. Yeah. Yesterday, I was a ten. Fucking ten. I was just. Goddamn ten. I was feeling great.

[00:19:49] Like, honestly, yesterday was a fucking great day. Um. And again, I'm going to share. Did I see you? Yeah, I saw you yesterday. I'm going to share this in September. But, all this information. But, just. It was a really good day yesterday. Yeah, yeah. I understand that. I was just enjoying the day. And, uh. I was. I was productive. And then. I was actually running around all day. Like, fucking went to Costco and Rona. And like. Oh, thank you, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Getting, uh.

[00:20:17] You know, getting the pool ready. And like. Then I got a real. I went to a fucking one from ten. Like, in an instant. I was setting up the pool. And I was by myself. And then Jacob was around. And like. Hey, Jacob. Can you come help me? And it was. Little guy can't help me with a heavy pool. Sure. Right? So, he was trying. And I was just like. It was falling. I had to put in the cross brace to hold it up. And like. It just was not lining up. And he tried. And like. I'm holding it with one hand. While I'm trying to align things.

[00:20:47] And at one point. I was like. I started swearing. Like. Fuck this. I'm gonna. I don't care if this pool rips. I'm gonna throw it in the garbage. I just lost it for like ten minutes. You know. I was pissed off. And I was like. Buddy. I'm sorry. Yeah. It's not your fault. Like. This was totally unacceptable. What I just did. But I just lost my shit. Really? Dude. I was so. Like. It took. Such a. My body took such a beating. From those ten minutes. When I was like.

[00:21:17] Yeah. Fighting everything. That I got so lightheaded. And we had to go to Taekwondo. I'm like. Dude. I need to sit down for like three minutes. Because I'm dizzy. Like. I was just like. Super pissed off. And then. I calmed down. And then. Went to Taekwondo. And then. Dropped him off. Came back home. Then I. I did just a little. Chill time. And it was too fucking hot. To do anything outside. And then. Went back to Taekwondo. Watched him. He did his pre-test. For his black belt. Taekwondo. So. That was really interesting. To watch it. So excited for that.

[00:21:48] Yeah. So. Yeah. Just. It was. Even though with that little. Hiccup. Hiccup. Let's call it a hiccup. I. It was. Overall. It was a. Mentally. It was a. Ten. See. That's the thing with you. You can go. From a. Yeah. Ten. You can go from a seven. To a one. Yeah. To a ten. In like. An hour. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I can't do that. Yeah. I get affected by the. It's. I guess that's short term. Happiness call it. Yeah. I don't know.

[00:22:18] Whatever. It can give me the little booze. But it can also fucking drain me very fast. But yeah. So today. Today is a seven. It's been a tougher day a little bit. Because like I told you just earlier. That I'm trying to juggle too many things. And. It's just not working. Like. I think I sent you this message. That my algorithm is not algorithming. You know. Like it's just like. It's. There's some things missing. And I'm.

[00:22:48] I'm. I think. Shit will adjust. In the next couple months. A little bit. Yeah. And then. I'll be able to focus on. Narrow down my focus a little bit. And. Mm-hmm. Prioritize things a little bit better. But yeah. Just. The next. This month. Coming up. With work. I'm. I'm. Working two jobs now. Yeah. And so. Yeah. It's. It's. It's going to be tough. But. Yeah. I'll. I'll get through it. And then I have a month of vacation. So. Maybe there's. Like.

[00:23:17] Maybe we can talk through some tools. That. Maybe either of us use. Or we've heard of people using. That like help with that. Oh. Excuse me. Wow. Wow. That was. That was internal. That came from somewhere. Yeah. Um. Yeah. I don't know. Like how do you stay. How do you stay organized? Life's chaos. It is. Yeah. I think most people's lives are. I. Fairly chaotic. I went back to like. Again. Like using my notebook. And then like. Yeah. Okay. Write everything down that I need to. And. The thing is. Once I put it in my bag.

[00:23:48] I forget to take it out. Mm. Mm. And then so. I. What I'm going to do is. Is. Today. Oh. Fuck. I'm fucking yawning too. It's fine. Tonight. I have to like. I have to. I don't know. Maybe I'll set a reminder or something. But like. Okay. I need to look through it. Because I. There's a few things that I wrote down. Like. I need to do today. Yeah. Okay. You know. So I want to go back to it. And just like. So when I made myself a note. To do something. And then. Like. Today. Like. That I.

[00:24:17] That this has to be done today. And then. Even if I don't get it done today. That at least. Oh shit. That was supposed to be done yesterday. So I got to do that first thing. Tomorrow. Right. And so. I'm just going to try to like. Visually organize. Myself. A little bit. Because again. Like. I was telling you that like. We. We were supposed to get together with our friends. And like. Oh. Does the 13th work? Oh. Yeah. It fucking works. There's nothing in the calendar. And then Adrian was like. Wasn't there something like. Ah. Fuck yeah. John was our guest. John. The plumber.

[00:24:47] It's his 40th birthday. And I'm like. Okay. Fuck. We can't do the dinner with our friends. Because we already said. We're going to the 40th birthday. So like. Just forgetting like. Little things like that. That. Again. Then. It's not a big deal. But adds just an extra. Level of stress to me. And my wife. You also live and die by your calendar. Yeah. So like if you forget to put something in there. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. It's a big deal. So. Also like. I don't live and die by my calendar. So this I guess. Kind of leading. Leading into like the convo that I. May.

[00:25:17] I wanted to kind of bring up that. Like. Life's just so fucking busy with like the activities and everything. And like. You know. The jobs. And like. Man. Like. I don't know. Like. I'm so jealous of people that. Aren't doing anything with their kids. But then I'm also like. But that's not. It's just. I get it. It's a very selfish feeling. It's a fleeting moment of jealousy. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I understand that. And so I'm just like. Oh man. Like I. And I know like. His.

[00:25:47] Take one. I know it's going to end now for the season. Like. You know. Just. There's a reprieve. There's a break. Yeah. There's a break. Yeah. So just like. I'm really looking forward to that. Like we have a vacation coming up. So it'll be great. You know. But I'm just like. It's like when you know it's ending. But there's that last stretch. That's just so fucking hard. And like. You know. Right now. Like setting up the pool. And then like. I got to get my boat ready. And like. Yeah. It's just like. You're going to be cleaning the pool. Three times a day. Yeah. There's construction around here. And I'm just like. Fuck.

[00:26:17] Like. Man. Just. And then. You know. I don't want to be a total dick. But like. Like my daughter came home today. And like. She made herself. Food. And then. Like. Like. She had. She's got her period. And like. She gets cramps and stuff. Yeah. So I'm going to go lie down. I'm like. All right. Sure. Go. Yeah. Like. But then. You know. Like. There's dishes. And there's. Other things that need to be done. And like. You know. Like. I saw my wife cleaning up there. Right now. So like.

[00:26:48] Oh yeah. She was scrubbing. Yeah. She wasn't just cleaning. She was scrubbing. Yeah. So it's just like. You know. Like. I feel fucking horrible. And I should be doing that shit right now. But like. Talking shit. Drinking whiskey. So I feel. I feel bad about drinking whiskey. Basically. You know. Like. That's the thing. Like. I feel bad for doing things for myself. Because there's other shit. That has to be done. And then like. Like yesterday. I didn't eat anything all day. Until like. 10 o'clock. In the evening. Yeah. Because I finally sat down. Like. Oh now. I'm like. Wait a second. I'm actually hungry.

[00:27:17] Like. I did not have time to think about food. So like. I don't know. It's. Life's busy. Like. We know that. We talk about it on the show all the time. Like. Life is fucking busy. When you have kids. It's even busier. Fucking kids ruined it all. And like. When you're married. It's even busier. Like. Yeah. The more people you add to your life. The busier your life gets. Mm-hmm. Like. It actually doesn't get less busy. Like. Get married. Yeah. Your life's busier. Yeah. Have a kid. Your life's busier. Like. Even though there's two of you now looking. Like. It's.

[00:27:47] Yeah. It just. Everything gets busier. It does. It does. So. I mean. The thing. But then. There are things that get easier. Like. I don't have to drive my daughter anymore. Well now. Yeah. But it's a long game to get there. It is a long game. Yeah. Took 16 years of raising her to get there. It's payback time. She's going to drive me around. I actually. I actually said. My buddy reached out. And like. I haven't seen him in a long time. I'm like. We got to get together. He's like. Yeah. Like. We got to figure out. His schedule is super crazy. So like.

[00:28:17] Weekdays work the best for him. And I was like. You know what. I'll come out to your house. He lives in. Uh. He's St. Paul. And. I'll get the. Gabby Uber. Yeah. To pick me up. You know. Goober. Yeah. Goober. Oh my god. That's it. Oh. Goober. And that's. And that's. The way the cookie comes. It's the super goober. Yeah. Uh. Fuck. That's amazing. Yes. Thank you. Thank you for that. You just. You just.

[00:28:47] You just. That's a free gift. There you go. That's a bump up to an eight right there. She's gonna hate it. You've witnessed it all. Man. Is she gonna hate that. Don't tell her I came up with that. No. No. She likes me. I'll take credit for it. Good. Yeah. Okay. Well you would. Yeah. Uh. Let's take a quick break. Let's do it.

[00:29:27] Back. To get started. Whether you're brand new. Or already into it. Fresh air. Movement. And the thrill of finding something unexpected. It does more for your mental health than you think. Visit okjohnmetaldetectors.com. Find all the links below in the description. I wanted to bring up something that's gonna happen on June 12th. Um. But before I do that we have a voicemail.

[00:30:03] Oh. Thanks for leaving a voicemail by the way. I haven't had a voicemail in a long time so. Kyle's busy I guess. Yeah. You know I totally thought Kyle would be leaving. He doesn't like our. Yeah. He always complains about our cross legs. He can complain. Maybe that keeps him from sending voicemails. I don't know but yeah. Like I was expecting at least our close friends. Sending like you know maybe shit talk us or something. But no. None of that. You want to talk about. Do better. Sad Jaguar. Yeah. Do better. Kyle was Joe Exotic for the longest time.

[00:30:33] We had. I'm so. I'm. I'm gonna. I'm gonna trail off here for a sec. But. I'm so happy that I was doing that podcast. At the time that Tiger King came out. Yeah. Cause. That was. Oh it was. Endless amounts of jokes. And. Oh. Content. For our podcast. And we did it every day. Oh. Like that was a daily. Daily podcast. Yeah. And like. It's a lot to come up with stuff to talk about every day.

[00:31:03] Apparently not actually. But it. We had a good quarterback. So. Yeah. There was always something. But like. Man. When fucking Tiger King came out. I was just like. Oh this is. Oh. Fucking magic. Like. This is unbelievable. How you said you had a good quarterback. Like you wanted to talk about something. And you just. Stole that. And just went with your own. You just started talking about Tiger King. Or anything. Everything. Yeah. All the time. Yes. Which was. Incredibly frustrating for him. For him. But for. But for the show. It was amazing.

[00:31:33] He comes from a background. Of. Media. Yep. And so he's used to like. He's used to like. A structure. A schedule. A kind of like. There's some free form within. But like here's. And he's the quarterback. So it's like. Here's how I'm taking. And it's like. Not when I'm in the fucking room here or not. Nope. You just took over. Yeah. Anyways. Okay. Voicemail. Let's play the. Let's play the voicemail. Anyways. Hey Joe Exotic. Fucking leave it for a voicemail.

[00:32:04] Hi guys. My name is Derek Wallman. And I actually live out here. In Winnipeg Beach. Manitoba. I wanted to reach out. Because. First of all. I really respect the work. That you guys are doing. Around men's mental health. And the conversations you're creating. Through the Quiet Riot show. I've actually. Had a podcast. Of my own. And the last couple years. I had to let it go. Because. I had. Children. And life got busy. But. It's still. A huge. Huge. Part of my life. Giving back. And.

[00:32:34] I actually work in finance now. And the reason for the reach out. Is because. Me and my team. Are hosting. A men and money night. Here in Winnipeg. Focused on. Men's mental health. Financial pressures. Leadership. Personal growth. All that kind of stuff. Stuff. And I just felt that there's a really strong alignment. Between what you guys stand for. And what I'm trying to build. And my team are trying to build. I'm going to send over a little email. With more context. But. I really just wanted to reach out. To personally introduce myself. And say.

[00:33:03] I really appreciate what you guys are doing. And I would love. Love. Love to connect sometime. Thanks so much guys. And keep up to great work. Well first of all. Thank you for the voicemail. Yeah. And secondly. Don't use my show to plug your shit. Oh sorry. That's. I was waiting. That's a different person. I was so. That was a sad Jaguar. He just came out of nowhere. I don't know what happened. I blacked out. What are we doing? No. That's awesome. I would love to go.

[00:33:33] Yeah. I think. I think we should be able to make it. If we're invited. So again. Just wanted to make sure that it was. Not sure if. I'll be able to clean up the audio. I should be able to. But. It's fine. It's a men and money night. In Winnipeg. So. I will get more information. Because. In the email. It doesn't say where it is. But. Like as in the location. But yeah. I will find more information about that. Yeah. And I will definitely. Share it on our social media. If you're a subscriber.

[00:34:02] Then I will send an email. About that. And yeah. Just. Yeah. His email. I'm not going to read the whole email here. There's. There's. I don't want to get into that. There's some information. That may be personal. So I just don't want to. Touch on that. Maybe we'll have him on the show one day. And then. Great. We can. We can. Unwrap that one. Men and money night. Here in Winnipeg. On June 12th. And this event is on. Financial literacy. Leadership. And growth. Growth. And. The deeper purpose.

[00:34:32] Is creating real conversations. Around the pressure. Men carry silently. And helping men realize. That they're not alone. So I know. He had. They went through some hardship. And then. You know. Lost his job. Or maybe couldn't work. And then. So obviously. As men. Men we want to provide. For our families. And when we can't do that. That's a. That hits us fucking harder. Than a semi truck. Right. And. Yeah. We. Like we talked about purpose. We lose our purpose as a man. To provide for your family. One of them for sure. Yeah. And so that's a.

[00:35:02] That's a big thing. That's. I think lots of men go through. And. And now like. You know. Prices are going up. And like. So. I see that at my work. People work overtime. Like crazy. And like. Now sure. Some of them. Could they maybe. Cut down on certain things. Yeah. But you. You're living a certain lifestyle. And now all of a sudden. Like you want to keep that lifestyle. Yeah. So you're pushing through. And just working more. But then you're not spending time. With your family. Like. There's a lot.

[00:35:32] It's. It's a lot. You can chop that up a lot of ways. Well. It's a lot to shuffle. Right. Like you're going through these feelings. That like. Oh shit. Like. I even thought. I'm like. Fuck. I should be working overtime. You know. Like. Yeah. Of course. It would help me out financially. But then I'm not. I don't have the time to spend. At home. Like. What. What do I do? I wonder if he's going to talk about that. Like. Yeah. I'd be curious. What portion of that evening. We'll be focused on that. Yeah. I think we should definitely go check it out. Yeah. I'd love to go. Yeah. That'd be great.

[00:36:01] So thanks again Derek for the. It was Derek right? Yeah. I think so. I don't know. Thanks for the voicemail. I stopped listening when he started plugging his. Whatever he's doing. All right. Sad Jaguar. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Go back. Go back into closet. Yeah. No. Bring Tim out. We need Tim back. No. I would like to go. Yeah. If we're invited I would happily be in attendance. I think it's weird because. Not weird. But like. I don't know how many people grew up like me. But.

[00:36:31] You don't talk about money. Okay. Yeah. Men generally don't talk about money. People don't talk about. It's a very weird. In my. In my culture the way I grew up. And I think overall like it's a private thing right? Like it's. Well it is. And like it's private. It's maybe too private. I don't know. But like. It's a weird subject. It makes people uncomfortable. Yeah. Because nobody has as much as they want. And so. I think you start that conversation in your head from like a point. A place of lack.

[00:37:01] Like. Okay. I don't have enough money. Yeah. Well how much is he at? How much money is he at? Like. Yeah. I think men compare themselves to each other. I think also. A little bit with that. That money can be. Maybe things you own or possessions or. And. I can go off forever about possessions. But like. I think money's a weird. It's an uncomfortable subject. Yeah. For people. And so if he's doing something to bring. To tear some of that down. Like I love that. Mm-hmm. I think that's great. Yeah. So. We don't have more details on this event. As of right now.

[00:37:31] But by the time. I'm hoping that by the time this episode airs. I should be able to. Maybe. If I have enough information. I'll pop it on the screen. And if I don't. We will try to promote it before the. June 12th. I guess. Yeah. That's when it's going to happen. In Winnipeg. Somewhere in Winnipeg. I think you'd say more details. Maybe. If he wants to comment. I know right. Yeah. Yeah. You want to promote. It's at your house. We don't even know this guy. We already shit talking. But like. You know what.

[00:38:02] We just got uninvited. He listens to our show. So he's going to like some part of this show. So maybe this. Maybe he'll tell us. Like you know what guys. Send us another email. Or a voicemail. Like ah never mind. Dick move losers. You're not invited. Fuck. All right. I guess we'll just try to figure it out. Yeah. On our own. I'm on my own. No but yeah. Like please. If you're going to be available. On the 12th. And I'm not sure if there's limited space or not. But we'll get more info.

[00:38:31] And hopefully we can get to see more listeners. I'm going to try. I'm going to try really hard to make it. I really would like to. Check my calendar. I have nothing on there. Actually I would like to. Like I don't say that. I'll. If I don't actually. I'll drag. And you'll make sure I get there. I'll drag you there. Thank you. Unless you have certain things that are happening. But like. I think we'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah. We should be able. It's a Friday. Yeah. So. Cool. Yeah. So that's. All right. And again finances are big part of everyone's life.

[00:39:06] And. Yeah. Lighter. Sometimes things get worse and heavier. Yeah. Nothing has gotten better or lighter for a very long time. So. So. This is actually a very important subject. Yeah. And. And. Exactly. Like. Like finances matter when you. Get into a relationship. And like you decide to move in. Like that's. Nobody thinks about like. When you start dating somebody. And like. Oh let's move in together. Oh great.

[00:39:36] Not too many people will be like. Well. Okay. Wait a second. Like. Yeah. Financially. What's your financial situation? Until you actually go to the bank. And like. Oh you want. How much for the house? And like. Yeah. You can't afford that. You're like. What do you mean I can't? You know. Yeah. And then. And then. People get married. And then they have kids. And like. You don't fucking know how much kid costs. Kids are so expensive. And like. You can't even. Even if you don't have a kid. And you hear that kids are so expensive. You'll be. You may be thinking like. Wow. What can be so expensive? They're actually. They're fucking expensive.

[00:40:05] More expensive than you think. But it's just like. You learn like. Oh. This shit. Oh. That costs money. Like. It's a big hit. So you need to adjust. You have to feed them? So finances follow you throughout your whole life. And like. You know. I don't know if it was with you. Or I talked to somebody that. It would be really cool. Where like. We could. Go back a little bit to like. The community based. Living where like. You know. There's.

[00:40:34] Let's say you take the 10 houses on the street. Oh yeah. Yeah. And then like. Okay. You grow tomatoes. You grow peppers. You grow this. You know. And you grow shitload enough for 10 people. And then we'll all exchange. Because like. Yeah. We just need to put it. The barter system. Yeah. We just need to put in the hard. A little bit of hard work. And then. Yeah. But like. No. I like convenience. I'm just going to go and buy it. I went to. A Hutterite colony. That's right. I was on a Hutterite colony. Got a big tour. And met. And saw all their stuff. And like. Man. Like. That's. That's not.

[00:41:04] You say what you want about it. But like. That's not a bad way of living. Because. And like. They're living pretty good. I remember that from like my parents. And my grandparents. Like. My grandparents were very poor. And like. They only ate what they grew. And what they raised. My mom. Yeah. Like my mom growing up. Same. Yeah. Yeah. Like. It was. It was. All the vegetables. All kinds of vegetables. And then. There was always chickens. Rabbits. Yeah. Pigs. Those were the cheap ones. Yep. Once in a while they got. Cows were expensive. Cows were expensive.

[00:41:33] But like. In Slovakia. And this was. Going back to the communism a little bit. But like. Every. Every. Bigger town had their own farm. So like. You talked about that the other day. Yeah. You got your milk from them. Right. Like it was. Then. Then when they butchered the cow. You were able to purchase it from them. Like even till this day. Like you don't. You go into a store. You can barely find beef. Like beef is a special order. Interesting. Yeah. And. But like. Yeah. Chickens. Rabbits. God I love beef. And. And pork was like.

[00:42:03] Yeah. That. You could raise that. Like. Cheap. Easy. Quick. Yeah. The pigs. The pigs ate anything. Yeah. Like. They had their. So did chickens. Chickens. Yeah. They had their grain. You know. And then. But then leftovers. Like everything was. Yeah. Repurposed. And like. Even. Even my grandparents dog. Like. Oh. The soup smells funny. He'll eat it. The dog was so happy. Totally fine. Yeah. And it was an outdoor. It was a dog that lived outside. Yeah. And like. Chase. Uh. Chase. Uh. Like. Rats. And mice.

[00:42:33] And whatever. Like. It's. But yeah. It was just a way of living. Gypsies. No. Gypsies too. Yeah. But yeah. It's. It's. It's. There's something. Like. We planted a garden. And like. I just can't. I cannot buy tomatoes in the store. In the summer. Yeah. Yeah. Like. I need to have that one month where I just eat stupid amount. So many. Stupid amount. Like. We still have frozen tomatoes from last year. Yeah. But like. We take those out and make like. Uh.

[00:43:03] Like spaghetti sauce. And it's amazing. Well. I'm providing. So like. Like if we're talking about finances. Like provide. It's about providing. So. Yeah. Like. What do you do to provide? Do you garden? Do you. Like. What do you do to. Cut the edge off of some of what's so fucking expensive all the time. And maybe they'll talk about that. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. If not. I'll bully my way into the conversation. That's right. Yeah. We'll end up talking about it. Should we. Should we bring the board and the mics. We'll just take over. Yeah. This is mine now. But yeah. No. It's.

[00:43:32] I'm looking forward to it. And yeah. Thanks again. Thanks for the voicemail. And yeah. We'll. You know. Let's make it work. And we'll get you on the show. And talk about it. I'll have it. Because like the email. In the email. He's mentioned some personal things. Which. I'd love to hear. His side of the story. And. You know. Going through hardship. When you can't provide for a family. That's. I think. More men go through it. That we know. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. And none of them talk about it. Yeah. Because it's shameful.

[00:44:03] Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Okay. I think we can wrap on that one. Yeah. Yeah. It's. So. It's. Going to be June. Soon. It's May 29 right now. This comes out in June. I think we'll have maybe. A couple more episodes. And then we're going to take July off for sure. Because I'm going to Europe. I'm going to Slovakia. Yes you are. I'm leaving you for a month. Okay. Fuck. Oh no. Sorry. I don't like that. You should come with me. I cannot.

[00:44:32] Just leave your family here. No. I'm not doing that. But I'll be back in August. And then we'll pull. Yeah. We'll do something. And then we'll be back in September fully. Maybe we'll. If we have time. We'll throw an episode out in August. But I can't promise anything. But yeah. I don't make that plan. Yeah. So that's him. If he tells me I have to show up to do something. I'll do something. I'm the captain now. Perfect. Later. Okay bye.

[00:45:02] Thanks for tuning in to this episode of the Quiet Riot Show. We want to give a big shout out to our sponsors for making this show possible. And of course thank you our amazing listeners for your support. Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok. We're at Quiet Riot Show on all platforms. Don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can watch full episodes of the podcast. If you're enjoying the show please rate and review us wherever you're listening. It really helps us grow and reach more listeners like you.

[00:45:32] We'd also love to hear from you. Have questions, suggestions or thoughts about the show? Drop us an email at quietriotshow at gmail.com. Thanks again for listening and we'll see you next time on the Quiet Riot Show.