Raising 4 Boys Without Losing Yourself Sacrifice, Stress, and Showing Up | Ep.71

[00:00:00] As a family, we love escape rooms. Oh, okay. I've still never done one. We just finished everything that was available at Real Escape and my wife didn't want to do the scary ones, but to get all of them we had to, right? So she was like, fine. And watching them all excel at different kinds of puzzles and figuring stuff out, it's really neat as an experience to see how they see that kind of problem. And they'll encourage each other like, hey, this is something that you're good at, you should do it.

[00:00:28] So they even pick up on that too. They understand each other, yeah. There's a little bit of chirping, but like all of us are out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, you suck at this. Yeah, why didn't you check in there? Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah, that's brotherly love. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:01:05] All right, welcome back everybody. Is that staying in? No. Fuck no. Why not? No, no, no, no. We're gonna be talking about boys here, so. Yeah, well, boys talk about wieners. Yeah, they do. It's true. They do, yeah. From the age of like five till forever. Yeah, as soon as you discover it, it's time to talk about them. Yeah. Yeah. What's this? Yeah. Oh, man. Okay, let's reset a little bit. Gonna be back alive.

[00:01:35] We're doing the show. This is the show. All right, fuck it. I'm not keeping the very beginning, but I'm gonna keep some of the dick talk in there. Fuck. Oh, man. And here we are. Back at the studio. Yeah. Yeah. Talking about dicks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, boys will be boys. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's kind of what we're... That's probably the title of the episode today. I actually... That might be very appropriate. Yeah. Yeah. You already sprayed our guest with beer, so that's... Yeah. That was interesting.

[00:02:02] Well, you know, we haven't had any F1, and I haven't seen any celebrations. Right. So, like, I got the... You crazed your own. I was excited to see Jeff finally made it to my house. It's always nice to have people be excited to see me. Yeah. Yeah. Jeff Christie, welcome to the studio, to the Quiet Riot Show. Very happy to have you here. Thank you for having me here. Yeah. And Jeff is someone I've known for a few years now. We worked together, and I think we got along very well.

[00:02:32] Worked in the same department. Yeah. I was actually just telling Tim this story, and I'm not sure if you even remember this, but, like, when I first started at work... There's no way he doesn't remember that. And we worked in... I'm not naming any departments or anything, but one of the departments, and I filled out the paperwork, and you looked at it, and you're like, something's wrong here. And I was like, oh, no. And it was like, it smells funny. And I just walked there, and I'm like, oh, shit. Do you remember that?

[00:03:02] Oh, I do, yeah. What I'd like to know is how many people have you done that to? I've gotten quite a few different jobs. Yeah. Anytime there was any kind of paperwork involved, I'd be like, does this paperwork smell funny to you? What? Oh, my God. Yeah. So I was like, oh, man, I like this guy right away. Yeah, it's pretty funny. Yeah. We've had lots of... And I think before, you know, prior... I guess before COVID, there was a lot more fun that we used to have in departments.

[00:03:30] I mean, we've done some funny shit. Like with Clayton, I remember when he grabbed... We have this material that's like, it's really sticky. But then eventually you take it off, and you put a new one down. So he collected it, and he created this big black dildo. And like one of the guys kind of had a quick nap, and we put it right in front of him, and he woke up. I was like, what the hell? Like, we can't do that shit nowadays, you know? No. Is that like... Oh, yeah. Nobody's allowed to have fun at work anymore. No. Yeah.

[00:04:00] Or they don't. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, I find that kind of died down a little bit. You find your group, and you have as much fun as you can. That's right. The stuff that you can't live. Within the limits. Yeah, exactly. I worked somewhere in my... Well, they're not even a company in Canada. I worked at HMV for a while in my, I don't know, mid-20s. Okay. And one of my co-workers, one shift, we basically, the whole crew that was on basically spent

[00:04:26] the whole shift building a big cardboard robot on the toilet. That's awesome. And then we left it there. That's amazing. In the back room. It was so funny. I have a picture of it somewhere. Maybe I'll share it. You can put it on the Instagram or whatever. Or if you can find it, yeah. But it was super funny. We just built this huge robot. He had a dart in his hand and like... Oh, that's great. Yeah. It was really fun. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing. Like, you gotta have fun. And like, you know, boys will be boys.

[00:04:50] Like, we've talked about this last episode too, but sometimes like, you know, I don't feel like my age at all. Like, my thoughts are sometimes so stupid. I love what Tom Segura did with the Bad Thoughts show. Have you seen that? I have only seen a couple of them, I think. You haven't seen it? No, I haven't seen it. Oh my God. It's like, it's just like, he's like, this shit goes through my head and I'm like, I wanted to put it in like a short, like a five minute video. And it's absolutely ridiculous. I saw two of them.

[00:05:18] I saw the one in the boardroom, like the meeting and he was like the IT guy or whatever. Oh yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And then I saw the one where he played the guy at the old folks home. Oh yeah. That was so, yeah. If you haven't seen it, I don't want to give away, but it's super funny. But basically it's just like, yeah. Like it's just filth. You have like this shittiest thoughts. Yeah. Like you find it's funny. Yeah. And then when you show it or tell other people like, what's wrong with you? Yeah.

[00:05:48] But, um, you know, the reason I wanted to have you on the show, cause yeah, you have four boys at home. You've raised four young men that turn into, uh, you know, like young boys to young men. And, um, yeah, just, uh, you know, I have one of them at home and I, I love it. Like, and he's like my little buddy, you know, like I can shoot the shit with him. I can rough him up. Like my daughter's my daughter.

[00:06:13] Like she's my princess and like, you know, there's that gentle side, but like with Jacob, I, I don't take it easy on him. Like we have fun. It's a dad's job. Yeah. I think so. Right. Well, and it's a, it's, uh, I was talking to my dad yesterday about this and boys play like men like to play all the time. A hundred percent. Yeah. And so like, it's, we're not, it's different than women. Like we're not the same in that sense. We like to play.

[00:06:42] We like to rough house. We like to goof around more. We just take things. There's not always a structure to it. It's just, you just play. Yeah. Girls will have tea parties and boys will have pillow fights. Like, like wrestling style. Yeah. Yeah. It's just different. I'm one of three boys. That's awesome. So I know a little bit about, I know what it's like being one of them, not my mom.

[00:07:06] I feel like my mom should be sitting here commenting on raising three boys or your wife or whatever. Yeah. Raising four. Like five, right? Yeah. Well, that's the thing. It ends up being five. Yeah. At my home. It was four because dad's included. Yeah. And it was different. Like I never grew up with, I never grew up with a sister or like I had my mom, but like I didn't grow up with a sister. And so like. You have a sister. I do. Yeah. Yeah. And is it just the two of you or? Yeah. Yeah.

[00:07:36] We have a great friendship. We didn't always. Yeah. It got to the point where we kind of realized that we had to have each other's backs and we have continued with that since we were about 14. Cool. Okay. Yeah. Is she older or younger? Younger. Okay. Yeah. So you're the big brother. Older brother. Or older, sorry, older brother. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, we have a great relationship. Yeah.

[00:08:04] And I see that like between Gabby and Jacob, like they have a really good relationship, but then like Gabby's turning 17 and he's turning 12 actually on Monday. See, I fucking hate this. I'm having the same problem as last year. I know. But yeah, sometimes they're like really good friends, you know, but then sometimes she's just like, leave me alone. Yeah. Yeah. I want my own thing right now. Right. And so I don't know. Did that ever happen? Did you ever see that? Like between the brothers. How old are your boys, by the way?

[00:08:33] So I'm not going to do some quick mouthing. Well, your youngest one is same as my daughter. So going from the youngest to the oldest, it's 16, 19, 21 or 22, 23 or 24. Okay. I get a little. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm running out five hours sleep. Oh yeah. Yeah. Good excuse. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:08:57] Uh, the dynamic is really neat because those split off into other groups. Mm. So there, there's four of them, but there's the bigs, there's the littles, there's the odds, there's the evens. Mm-hmm. And they all will do separate stuff. They'll do stuff together. And, uh, very rarely is there any kind of conflict between any of them. That's great. Yeah. That's awesome, man. Yeah. I got along. I, me and my brothers never really fought growing up.

[00:09:28] Yeah. I could, I could think on, honestly, on one hand that the amount of times we actually like got really angry with each other. I don't even think it's five. Like. Yeah. Well, and I think it's like, because my brother's almost eight years older than I am. Like we didn't really hang out because I was a baby. He was eight years old. Right. And then when I was like five, six, he was already a teenager. Right. And so like, we always had different interests, but I find like, like in your case, you know,

[00:09:56] let's say that two youngest ones are fighting while the oldest one might step in like, hey, knock it off. Or, you know, like they might protect each other a little more. And it's pretty good that way. Uh, that's the only time that I, I would really lose my mind is when they're fighting because it would kick two instincts into me. One is to protect my children because they're going to hurt. Yeah. And then, uh, the other was, uh, yeah. So protect and hurt the person that's hurting my kid. Right.

[00:10:24] So I'd be like, oh my God, you guys need to stop because I'm getting torn up inside. Someone's going to get hurt and it's probably going to be me. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Um, you have four. Yeah. Was it your plan to have four kids? That's a lot of kids. Like in the beginning, you know, we thought it was going to be like, oh, we'll have a boy and a girl and that'll be it. Were you chasing the girl? Is that? Not really.

[00:10:51] Like we, uh, we knew things were off track when we had the second one and it was a boy, right? Yeah. Like, Hey, that penis shouldn't be there. And, uh, but then, uh, uh, uh, the, the pill that Lana was on was effective to a point. And I guess that was my lotto win, right? We had Griffin and, uh, Riker is kind of the same thing. It just happened without us really planning on it.

[00:11:21] Okay. Yeah. And, uh, so it was supposed to happen. Yeah. Yeah. In a way. Exactly. Like it, it feels great. Like at the time there was a little bit of like, oh my God, like how are we going to do this? Yeah. But then once you're doing it, it's like, we were already outnumbered, right? Like once you have three, what's another one? So exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's true. It's just, uh, well, and they're all grown, they're, they're all grownups now. Like it's like kind of like your youngest is 16.

[00:11:51] Like they're, they're real people. Like what was the biggest thing that you noticed from like when they were little, like, cause raising four little ones would be chaos. Yeah. I feel like raising four older ones is like a, the reward, like the fruits of your labor or whatever you want to call it. Yeah. And like the relationship changes. Like I remember when I got older, like my relationship with my dad, uh, became less of a father son thing and more of a buddy thing. Like it's still always, you still always your parent. Yeah.

[00:12:20] But like, it's just different. Have you hit that stage with some of them already? Yeah. Like they all have their own personality and it was kind of like trying to figure that out, you know, uh, to them hang out in their bedrooms and they do stuff on the computer and, you know, I'd pop down and say, how's it going? How are you? Yeah. And that's all they want. Yeah. So that's, it took me a while to figure that out. And then the other two, they want to be engaged.

[00:12:49] They want to talk about the stuff they're into. They want to tell you about cool videos they saw. They want to share stuff with you. So it's a, it's a nice balance between the four of them. So they are, they're all different. Well, of course they're all different. But like interests and, uh, like common interest. Do you, is there common interest between the four of you or the five of you? Like video games? Yeah. Okay. Like, yeah. Like there's something that you all share interest in together.

[00:13:16] Uh, as a mom, as a family, we love, uh, escape rooms. Oh, okay. Yeah. I've still never done one. Really? Oh yeah. We've been doing them too. Yeah. Jacob loves them. We just finished everything that was available at real escape. Nice. And, and my wife didn't want to do the scary ones, but to get all of them, we had to, right? So she was like, fine. But, uh, and watching them all excel at different kinds of puzzles and figuring stuff out.

[00:13:44] But it, it's really neat as an experience to see how they see that kind of problem. Yeah. How they solve the issues and how, and they'll encourage each other. Like, Hey, this is something that you're good at. You should do it. So they even pick up on that too. Yeah. And I mean, there's, there's a little bit of chirping, but like all of us. Yeah. Yeah. Man, you suck at this. Yeah. Why didn't you check in there? Right? Yeah. Yeah. That's brotherly love.

[00:14:14] Yeah. No, that's, that's really interesting. Yeah. And do you guys, do you see that? Like, Oh, like, uh, this kid is more like me and he's more like, uh, like mom and totally and picking up like different genes. And it's funny because the, I feel like the two that look like me are more like Lana's personality. Okay. And then vice versa. So the ones that have, uh, Lana's eye color and her smile. Yeah. They're more outgoing.

[00:14:43] They're more into comics, movies and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. Like just a different mix of the two people. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, no. So I, and so I know like, yeah, you're a big comic fan and like I, when I was getting into the, all the MCUs, I'm like, Jeff, what the fuck is this? Like, I don't get it. Yeah. Yeah. So we, so we, I've learned a lot from you too. So I'm sure you tried to pass on as much onto your kids, uh, your, your like, or your love for comics as well.

[00:15:13] But did it really stick to all of them or? Uh, I would say some of them, it hit them and then others that didn't. And then, I mean, it's, it's part of their environment. Right. So they're either going to be like, yeah, this is totally for me or no, thank you. Yeah. But then they find their other, like, uh, it's basically like comic books, like, uh, anime. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And so then it's close enough where they'll be like, oh, you know, like, Hey dad, check this out.

[00:15:42] And yeah, so they're, they're bringing stuff to me and they're making my environment bigger. Okay. That's kind of cool. That's fun. It's amazing. No, I guess as a parent, we always, as parents, we always try to find a little interest in what they like, right? Something new. And like you said, like you're expanding your environment a little bit, but it shows the kids that you're interested in, into, in, in their stuff. Yeah. Yeah. They tried to get me into Minecraft and that was a, that was a no go.

[00:16:10] I sat down for a half an hour and I was like, Hey, yeah, no. So you're just building stuff. Yeah. Yeah. That's so fun. They're like, no, no dad, you need to get away from that guy. I'm like, what? And then I was dead and I'm like, you know what? This is not for me. Yeah. I think I'm going to stay dead. Yeah. It just reminds me of that Minecraft South Park episode. I don't know if you guys have seen it. Okay. I've seen that one. No. It's the adults start playing it cause there's a whole side story to it and it's fucking hilarious. Like they just don't get it. They're like, what do you mean? Yeah.

[00:16:39] Jacob tried to get me into this, um, uh, digital circus video. It's something ridiculous, but, um, it has, it has its funny parts, but I promise him I'm going to catch up. Was that that show or whatever you were telling me about? Yeah. Okay. So it's like where you like in this virtual reality world and you're a character, but you can't leave. We can do anything you want, but you can't swear. So like this was what, what do you mean? I can't, can't say peep, peep, peep, peep, peep. So like there's some things for adults too. Yeah.

[00:17:08] And like, there's a new, uh, uh, season or a new movie coming out and they're playing it at landmark in, in May. So I got the tickets. I'm going with Jacob. So I have to catch up to watch it. So it makes sense. So I'm like, Oh, great. Uh, I watched the first two episodes. Like, okay, it's, it's kind of stupid, but you know what? I need to do it. You know? Also like you, that's a, like Jacob, we, I mean, we had him on the show. Like that dude fucking loves, he just looks up to you. He'll do anything with you. Yeah, exactly. All he wants to actually do is just hang out.

[00:17:38] Like he doesn't even care what you're doing. No. At least I don't sense in a big way he does. So he used to love coming to like my hockey games. And so then lately it started, started to get to the point where I'm like, Hey, I'm going to hockey. You're coming. He's like, um, are you, we, are we going upstairs after? I'm like, probably not. He's like, yeah, I don't think I'm going to go. Cause he just wants his poutine and coke. And then, so yesterday was our last game and then we had our windup and I'm like, Hey, you're going to come to the game and then go to the windup and see the boys.

[00:18:08] He's like, Oh, I made plans with my buddy Liam. I'm like, he's just growing up a bit. I'm like, Oh, I don't like it. But that's reality. Right. So he's going to find now his own things to do. Yeah. My daughter doesn't want to do that much stuff with me anymore either. Like not as much as she used to. She used to just like be on like, well, I want to do this. Yeah, let's go. Yeah. And now it's like, well, I don't know. I don't really feel like it. Yeah. Well, my daughter doesn't want to do much, many things with me. Yeah. But you guys have a sweet plan tonight. Tonight we're watching stepbrothers.

[00:18:38] Oh, nice. Yeah. She hasn't seen it. I've shown her a couple of clips and she's like, all right, this is funny. I'm like, yes. So yeah, it's nice. Like when me and my daughter have like this relationship where like it's very small, fun interactions, but I try to like, okay, you want to do this? Yeah, let's do it. Like I'm on board because I don't get many chances. It's all memories, right? Yeah. Those are going to be the moments that you both are like, hey, remember when that time

[00:19:05] happened and you know, 10 years down the road, you'll be able to reflect on these. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Was it now with four, was it hard to balance your attention, your care, your affections, your like the energy you could put into like, you only have so much energy and yours was spread across four different, nevermind your wife.

[00:19:34] Like it was spread across four kids in very different age categories. Age categories. And like, what was that experience like? And what, what did you learn through doing that? Cause I'm sure it wasn't perfect. Uh, I was working midnights too at the time. Oh, so, uh, so a lot of the times it would be, uh, drop off at daycare in school. So I'd stay up until at least nine and, uh, I'd be setting the timer for seven minutes so I could sleep on the couch. Right.

[00:20:05] Okay. And like, I got a phone call once from a teacher because the lunch I made was basically crackers and it wasn't a good lunch. Right. You got called out and teacher called out for one time. Yeah. Holy shit. But, but I couldn't, like, I knew it wasn't a great lunch, but at the same time I couldn't leave the house to go up the street to get anything. Right. So, uh, yeah, there was lots of moments where it's like just laying on the floor and letting kids crawl on me and pull my hair. Yeah.

[00:20:34] Just do your thing. I'm going to nap. Yeah. Right. Like you hit that, that moment, that stage where like, yeah, you don't feel anything. You're just there. Yeah. Well, and then as they got older and, uh, the demands became a little more frivolous, I'd get mad. Right. Right. Yeah. Depending on what it like, oh yeah, I've had four hours of sleep. By all means, let's go in the van and go up the street for Slurpees. Right.

[00:21:02] And it would instantly, uh, get me hot. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so that sucked. I don't think that's unreasonable to feel that. It just, reflecting on it now, I wish I had the sleep so that it wasn't a big deal. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, there was some, uh, moments that I look back on and wish that I had been a better parent in the moment. Mm-hmm. I think we all have those. I think we all do. Yeah. But it's what makes us better parents. It's like, oh, I think so. Right? Yeah.

[00:21:32] Like the guys that are like, oh, well, that was all right. Yeah. Yeah. And like the, like kids are pretty resilient. They are to a certain point. Yeah. But yeah, like I think it's one of those things too, that now, now you've reviewed how, how it was and then you've learned from it. And I think us as parents, we can pass that, that knowledge to them when they have their kids. Right. Yeah. Uh, just things like that. Like, Hey, like, you know, this is what I did and I wish I had done it differently. And yeah. Yeah.

[00:22:01] Do the older ones help prepare the younger ones or did they help prepare the younger ones for what life is like being older? Uh. Did they have that bond with each other to some extent? I'm assuming to some extent. Yeah. Like the little bit of gap between the second and third, put those two in a position where we would ask them for help for a little bit. Like not crazy stuff, but you know, like, Hey, just watch your brother a little bit. Right. Like there's stairs and stuff. It'd be cool if you didn't tumble down them. Yeah. Don't push him.

[00:22:31] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like as fun as that might sound. And the, it's crazy too, because there's so much going on. Like we, I didn't even realize that our third son had a speech impediment because I could understand some stuff and then his brothers would speak for him. Okay. Yeah. And then it got to the point where his younger brother was saying things for him.

[00:23:01] Oh, okay. And then it's like, oh, you know, maybe there's more to this. Yeah. And Lana was right on it. Like she lined up some speech therapy and stuff, but yeah, like they have looked out for each other. They've helped each other grow. Uh, I had a friend who had that situation where his youngest son had a fairly bad speech impediment and his oldest son who was like maybe three years older. Yeah. Ish. Uh, he was basically his translator.

[00:23:30] Like, and they were, they spent all, they were super close. They spent all their time together. Like, but he was his, his guardian. He was his translator. That's crazy. Like it's, they, they pick up, they know, they know this stuff. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. And when you're surrounded, like when you're surrounded, like I spent a lot of time with them for a while. I started to understand them anyways. Yeah. I knew what he was saying. Cause you're around it enough. Well, I mean, it's just like. And then you don't hear it as much. You don't like, you forget the first time you heard it where you're like, oh, that's, that's pretty, like, that's hard to understand.

[00:23:59] It's just like when you see somebody like your buddy with a two year old kid that just like start, you know, or like one and a half year old kid starts speaking like, and like, what the hell is he saying? And the parents actually translate. Cause like they hear it. So it's like. How is, and you can, well, she's your wife, so you can speak for her, I guess. But, uh, what's her experience been like raising four boys? Five. Four. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, Lana is very good at organizing.

[00:24:28] Uh, if, if she had a superpower, that would probably be it. Okay. Yeah. Um, and keeping everything in line for appointments and. That's huge. Yeah. Yeah. And like, she has been a huge advocate for all the boys when it comes to school. Hmm. Uh, any situation she's in there, she's talking to teachers. Uh, yeah. Yeah. I couldn't even imagine doing, well, I mean, by myself, we probably wouldn't be here cause

[00:24:57] I'd be in a ditch living off bubble gum. But, uh, yeah, with any other partner, I, I don't think we'd have the same result. Yeah. And how has that been for your, what did that do for your relationship with your wife raising four kids together? I like to think that we've always had a really good, deep love. Nice. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah.

[00:25:27] Makes me happy to hear that. Yeah. Like I, you know, I try, I send her a message every morning, you know, just to let her know that I think she's beautiful. Yeah. I hope she had a good sleep. Yeah. Uh, do I need to get anything on my way home? And I send all those messages. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. And it helps my life. Yeah. Me too. Yeah. Like it's, it's, uh, I better start doing that. I do it.

[00:25:51] Uh, I, I, I, not every day, but, um, I never return home without a texting first to say, do you need anything while I'm on my way? It's crazy, right? Cause when you're, when you're going through the door, you're not thinking about, well, what if I stop and get this on the way home? Yeah. But, uh, yeah, she's, she's on top of it. So then, well, in my, in my, like I have, I have one kid and she's the best, but like

[00:26:16] even having one, like raising one and having a career and work like that's even tough to stay connected with my wife, like for us to be connected and on the same page, like you could be ships in the night for a week or two and not even realize it. Like it just happens. There was a moment when I was on evenings and we had the three boys and she would work

[00:26:42] shift work and I'd see her for like an hour and I would be at work and I would feel terrible cause I knew she was doing supper. I knew she was doing tubs. I knew she was doing bedtime. Yeah. Yeah. So that's a full load. Yeah. It is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Our house has never been cleaner. Like at that, at that point, cause I would, I would get up and I'd get them off to school and then I would clean until my shift started. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And grocery shop and. So you just, you were a good team.

[00:27:12] Like, cause you have to be, even with one, you have to be, nevermind four. Like you have to be a really tight unit to do that properly. Yeah. And none of your kids are in jail. You're not talking about it if they are. So like you did, you did the right, you like you done good. Yeah. I mean, if nothing else, I told them how not to get caught. Right. That is your job as their dad. Yeah. No, but that's just like me and Adriana, we went through that rough patch where we became roommates cause we only focused on, on like the kids. And I, yeah, same thing.

[00:27:40] I remember like some people would call it the perfect relationship cause I have not seen her from Monday to Friday because I would have to leave by two 30 to start at three and she didn't get home until four. Yeah. And then when we had our kid and then the second, like, yeah, that's why I switched to midnights because at least we can have, I didn't have enough seniority to be on days. So I had to be either evenings or midnights. So I'm like, well, evenings sucks cause then everything, she has to do everything. Yeah.

[00:28:08] And that's why I switched to midnights, which I sacrificed my sleep cause same thing, get home now, stay up for until daycare starts or preschool starts and then go to preschool, come back, sleep for two hours, go pick, pick them up, take them to daycare, you know, like, and so it sucked, but at least we had somewhat of a relationship. But then even that took a beating and I mean, luckily marriage counseling helped us and it's great. Yeah.

[00:28:34] And I think no matter what you're, if you have kids, if you, you're going to go through those periods anyway, with your partner, like you're, you're, yeah, you're going to have the most complications with that person. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. And so like, I know from like, uh, our, uh, our family, like the kids, they love doing like, you know, Gabby's doing gymnastics, Jacob's doing drumming and taekwondo and football. And like, so what, uh, how about, how did you guys, uh, did they do some activities and

[00:29:02] how is that juggling with four boys? Uh, we didn't do an awful lot of sports because that was pretty much like right off the hop. Like, uh, the family support in the city, it just doesn't exist. Yeah. Okay. We didn't have anyone to help us out with that. That stuff. Yeah. And then. Yeah. Cause you guys have families outside of the city. Yeah. Yeah. So I was working midnights, Lana was working, uh, shift work. So every week it would be different for her. Yeah. I think she got one weekend off a month.

[00:29:32] And, uh, so there was a little bit of soccer, I think for everyone, some of them stuck with a little bit longer, uh, a little bit of basketball, but other than that, everything was pretty much, uh, unsporty. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, it doesn't, I'm not, yeah, it doesn't have to be sports, but. Yeah. Yeah. Uh. Uh, there's been like some D and D in there. Okay. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing.

[00:29:58] Like you can, you don't have to sign them up to, uh, like you guys can, you probably got creative and did things at home with them. Right. Oh. Yeah. And they would get creative too. Like, or they would do their own thing. Like, uh, when Bishop turned, I don't know, I want to say like 15, he would just hop on a bike and go. And he'd listen to full albums. And then we'd get a text, he'd be like, Hey, uh, I'm at the Forks. I'd be like, Oh, uh, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:30:27] You guys are out in Charleswood. Like that's quite a bit. Yeah. And he'd be like, yeah, I listened to two albums. Stuff you can let boys do that you can't let girls do. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. My daughter got on her bike and texted me. She's like, I'm at the Forks. I'd fucking freak out. Yeah. A hundred percent. But that's, it's nice. Cause like this, like, you know, they got creative, right? Which. Yeah. What they got into. Uh, Riker has had a really good friend group, uh, forever.

[00:30:55] Like he, he basically had a second mom, uh, and she's got twins and she was like, yeah, these are all my kids. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Jen's amazing. So, yeah. Well, and it's that whole, it takes a village concept where like, yeah. Fucking does. Well, it's so nice. Like, yeah. Jacob's classmates, two of them live or three of them live here, but like the three guys, Jacob, Liam and Hunter, like they're trouble. Like they're sweet kids. Yeah. But man, those kids, you put them in a room and wait, wait five years.

[00:31:25] Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Well, I'll be drinking with them. Probably. But yeah, no, they're, they're troublemakers, but they're the best kids ever, you know? And, and they're so funny. Like even today, uh, Jacob had like his birthday party. Okay. And, and so like, you know, they're leaving and Hunter's like, what's up, Tommy? Gives me a high five. Like, thanks for having me, man. Yeah. Like, I'm like, hey, buddy. Like, it's all, like, they're great. You allow that? That's just their personalities. And like. It's so weird, right? I wouldn't allow that.

[00:31:55] The, the dads that I grew up with. Yeah. I'm still like, hey, Mr. Sharp. He's like, you can call me Rob. No, I can't. No, I can't. Mr. Sharp. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be fucking weird. I'm not going to do it. I would, I would not like it if they called me Mr. Suwer. Really? Yeah. No, no. It's like, all, all my kids, friends call me Tommy. Yeah. Yeah. And, and, and like, but it wasn't like in a rude way. He was just like, you know, like, gives, gives me like a big, like, thanks for having me. Yeah. I love it. You know? Like, it's. I wouldn't love that, but. Yeah. That's my own. Yeah. That's my own shit. Not. Yeah.

[00:32:25] I don't want to be a Mr. Something. Yeah. Like, it's just. Okay. Yeah. It's fine. Kind of takes back to like the age we are and the age we think we are. Yeah. Yeah. I don't view myself as a Mr. But like in those scenarios, I'm like, yeah, I'll be a Mr. Like, that's fine. Yeah. But like, but it feels weird. Yeah. I know. It's like, you know, I just did a podcast and made a bunch of dick jokes, right? Yeah. You wouldn't be calling me Mr. If you heard the first five minutes of the show. And yeah, like even, even Jacob like calls their dads like by the first name.

[00:32:54] Like it's, it's just. Yeah. I don't know. Nobody respects anybody, I guess. No. Yeah. Just like fuck respect. This episode is brought to you by OK John Metal Detectors, a proud sponsor of the Quiet Riot Show and celebrating 50 years in business. If you've been feeling stuck in your head lately, sometimes the best thing you can do is just to get outside. Metal detecting is a simple way to unplug, clear your mind and do something real.

[00:33:23] And OK John Metal Detectors has everything you need to get started. Whether you're brand new or already into it, fresh air, movement and the thrill of finding something unexpected. It does more for your mental health than you think. Visit OK John Metal Detectors dot com. Find all the links below in the description. Back in the game. Back in the game. So we actually chatted a little bit about like how, you know, life's busy and sometimes

[00:33:51] like we don't find the time for ourselves. And like we've we've talked about this on episode, how our circle of France has gotten smaller. Right. Like over the years. And that's that's natural. Like we're not in our 20s where we go out every Friday, Saturday partying and this and that. And I don't know. What about you want to show those photos from you last night? OK. Last night was different. I had my hockey wind up. Did you just have a hockey wind up? That was sponge hockey. Oh, sorry. OK. Sorry. Two wind ups a year.

[00:34:21] OK. Even on Tuesday, I got a text message from my buddies like, hey, Death by Stereo was playing here in Winnipeg. And I love that band. And I knew I was going to I would have seen like lots of friends that I haven't seen a long time. I'm just like last minute decision. I'm like, I'm so tired. Like, yeah, no, I just I can't. I just I didn't. I just said, sorry, I can't. But I'm like, I don't want to go out right now. I'm just tired.

[00:34:46] I want to just if I don't have to do any work, I want to put my feet up and just watch some TV maybe with my wife. Right. Like and yeah. So it's just we don't we don't we don't like it's I guess it's one of those things that we value our time that if we have any energy, we want to make sure that our family is taken care of. Right. Like I dedicate the time to them on Thursday, for example, like Jacob had his Taekwondo

[00:35:13] and then dropped him off, went out for wings with my my brother in law and two of my friends. We do that like once every two months where we go out for wings. Right. That's awesome. And and it's it's we kind of forget. But then like somebody initiates the text like, oh, yeah, it's been a while. Let's do it. And so Adrian was busy at work till evening. So I dropped off Jacob for his two hour Taekwondo. And I'm like, perfect, like I used to waiting there. Yeah, I'll go for the wings and then pick him up. And then we picked up mama. I was like, you know what? I'm so tired.

[00:35:42] I want to go to bed when we get home. No problem. And then so my daughter like was just super happy. Like she was just she wanted to talk. And so we're like, yeah, like me and my wife were like literally just like looking at each other like, holy shit, this is happening. She's opening up and like, yeah, like, please. Everything stops when that. Oh, 100 percent. And like next thing you know, it was like 10 o'clock and I was tired. But like I was so happy and energized from just the fact that she opened up.

[00:36:12] She told us some things from her trip and like, you know, what's going on in her life. And that was so good. That was so rewarding. Right. And that's awesome. Like we sometimes miss out on these things when we do other things. And when you're you're a pretty social guy. And I need that. I need that. And it helps. We've talked about that lots over the years on this show. I can't believe I say over the years on this show. I know. But we've talked about that lot. So maybe to turn it towards you, like what what do you do for yourself?

[00:36:43] And do you get the time? And now your kids are a little bit older. So that's probably different. Yeah. Or there's more time for that maybe. I don't know. I do a lot of reading. Okay. Yeah. And that that's purely for me. And then it also gives me an opportunity to share with the boys because I can be like, hey, I bought this book. You might like it. If for nothing else, check out the art. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

[00:37:09] So the ones that are more art inclined might look at it just for that. Others might pick it up because of the story. Okay. Yeah. So readings like your. That's my. It's you time. Yeah. If I'm spending money, I'm probably getting myself a book. Okay. Yeah. So are you. Are you better than us? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? It's weird because I've been both. Like I remember in my younger days, like you threw me in a room of people and I was jumping

[00:37:38] around and I was running around and I was meeting people and it would take a lot for me to tap into that now. Yeah. Yeah. I find that I get less extroverted or I have become less extroverted over the years. I still have it. I still love it. I still have it in me. But like, like you said, like going out, I'm less likely to try and take every opportunity to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas I would have before.

[00:38:06] 10 years ago or before I had a daughter and a wife, like for sure then. Cause you just, you're single. You just do whatever the hell you want, whatever the hell you feel like it. But I haven't been single for a very long time. So it's been Jesus Christ now, what? 20, 22 years. So. It's a long haul. Yeah, that is. Good for you. It's wild, eh? Like when you start looking at stuff and being like, oh, like my tattoo is now twice as old as I was when I got it. Right? My first one. Yeah. It's like, oh man. That's right. True. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:38:36] No kidding. Holy shit. In my case, twice as big. Fuck. Shit. What do you, uh, what do you and your wife do together for you guys? Just the two of you. A lot of. I don't want the dirty details. Yeah. Well. Clearly, you have four kids. I know what you're up to. But outside of that. We like to go for walks. Okay. Uh, and with that, we play a little bit of Pokemon Go. Okay. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:39:05] And then shows. Like, we'll find a show that we both want to watch. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It gives us, uh, something to talk about. It gives us an opportunity to, you know, just be close to each other and touch. Like, even if it's just me with my hand on her thigh. Like, I, I appreciate. It makes a difference. Oh, man. Yeah. It's that actual physical connection is, is big. Yeah. Yeah. So that, uh, we'll go for, uh, movie nights by ourselves.

[00:39:36] Yeah. And usually with that, there's some supper or lunch involved. Nice. Yeah. So you still go on dates. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. I think that's very important. Um, one of our previous guests, Glenn, he's literally like, he's a very busy guy, but he schedules date nights with his wife into his work calendar because he's like, I need to make sure that I leave some room for that. I'm shitty at that. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. I'm really shitty at that. I'll admit that right here. Yeah.

[00:40:02] And, and that's, that's the thing, like the little moments, like we, me and Adrian, I also like to watch shows, but sometimes we just get so busy and then we haven't watched it for like, let's say a couple of months. We didn't continue like, Oh fuck with that. Where, where, where are we even? Yeah. I don't know which season or which episode and like, uh, well, okay, we're not going to rewatch it. We'll get to it eventually. Yeah. And then, Oh, there's a new show. Let's start now on. We have a, we have a pre conversation when we start a show, like after a couple episodes, like, are we watching this one together or what's the game plan?

[00:40:32] Cause it's like one of us will fall asleep or like whatever. And then it's like, well, I wasn't tired. So I watched three more episodes. Then it's like, well, it's too far gone. I can't like you just watch it and I'll watch it. And I never do. And do you guys stay like pre like consistent with like you're dedicated? Like that's her comfort, right? Like she is a, a show person. Like that's her where I like to pick up a book and sit in the corner. She likes to watch a show and even just having the, in the background.

[00:41:02] Uh, and it's funny cause at times she'll be watching something. She'll be watching something that I have seen as well. Yeah. And it's been a while for both of us, but like, she's watching angel again. Okay. I'm like, Oh, I think this is right before this happens. She's like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, you don't remember? Like, right. This happens and this happens, this happens. You don't remember any of that? She's like, Oh no. I'm like, well, sorry for the spoiler. I think I know. No, I never watched it actually.

[00:41:33] You just ruined it for me. Yeah. Fuck. What? Ah, statute of limitations on old shows. Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Exactly. Yeah. For sure. But it's cause I, it's funny cause that's one of the first things that she brought to me. Like I always thought that the idea of the Buffy series was dumb cause I had seen the movie and I'm like, how are they going to turn that into a TV show? And the best thing is she started me into it when it was deep. Okay. Yeah.

[00:42:02] And I saw an episode and I was like, Oh my God. And then we bought the DVDs back in the day and watch it that way and watch the finale together. And yeah. Nice. Buffy was pretty good. I never watched the show. I never watched Angel, but Buffy was pretty good. I never watched any of it. Really? Have you seen the movie? Nope. Oh man. It's worth it just for Paul Reubens. Yeah. Yeah. The movie's super good. I might get to. I have a list. You're not going to watch it. No problem. I carry a list on my phone from coworkers that are like, you need to watch this.

[00:42:32] And I think I've got like one thing checked off. So yeah. Only thing that was recommended to me at work was the Boondock Saints. Oh yeah. It was by Steve still. Yeah. I was like, okay, I watched it and man, it's my favorite movie now. It's so good. That is my number one movie. Yeah. That's a really good fucking movie. That was like back in the day, right? Your buddy would go into a movie store and he'd look at the cover and be like, oh, look who's on the cover, you know? Yeah. Boom to foe. This should be all right.

[00:42:59] And then you go into work and you'd be like, you fucking go to the store and you rent this movie. Watch this goddamn movie. Yeah. Yeah. Lock, Stock and Two Spoken Burles. Yeah. That was all. Snatch. Yeah. Snatch. Yeah. That was all the movie store. Any guy reaching movie is great. Well, yeah. So. Yeah. But yeah, exactly. Yeah. You have to watch it. Okay. Yeah. But yeah, so shows, that's what you guys do. That's awesome. Sorry, we're going off. Yeah. Also, that's what we do.

[00:43:29] Yeah. I mean, we don't have an agenda. It's my fucking show. We'll do whatever we want. Our listeners, I think, already know that we don't have an agenda. Turn it off if you don't like it. Yeah. We'll get to dicks eventually again, so don't worry. Well, speaking of dicks, I'll never forget when I had my daughter and you had your son and you told me this. I was like, fuck Jeff, I hate you. Because you're like, oh, see, okay, I have to worry about the four penises. You have to worry about all of them. Son of a bitch.

[00:43:58] I fucking hate when people tell me that. I know. It's like, I know I do. You don't think I fucking know? And so my daughter's been, in the last couple of years, she showed some interest in boys, but she hasn't had a boyfriend, at least not that we know of. Right. And I feel like she would tell us. Yeah. But how has that been for you, seeing the boys? Are they dating? Obviously, again, you're from a 16-year-old to a 24 or 5?

[00:44:28] 24. Yeah. So, you know, some of them are in a serious relationship. They've all been in relationships at different stages. Okay. The oldest was in a relationship, that would have been in grade 8. Okay. Okay. He was the first one to bring a girl over, and it was like, you know, after they were hanging out for a while, I was like, I don't know, are you guys boyfriend, girlfriend? He's like, no. No. So I'm like, okay. And I just dropped her, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[00:44:58] I've done my probe. I've... Right? Yep. So then when the graduation happened, and we're at the dinner, and we're all at the same table, and one of her parents leans over and goes, aren't they just the cutest couple? And I was like, what do you mean couple? What the fuck do you know? What the fucking... For how long? Right? I'm like... So... That's funny.

[00:45:27] And then, yeah, gone through a couple heartaches. Yeah. Actually, my son Bishop, when he was taking his driver's ed, it was during COVID. So I'm like, guess what? We're hitting the highway, because it is clear. Like, we're driving to Brandon. Yeah. We're putting four hours against your 40, right? And he had broken up with the girl that he had been dating for some time.

[00:45:55] And I was like, you know, halfway to Portage, I'm like, hey, you know, just for conversation sake, if you don't mind me asking, what happened? He was like, I just realized I would never make her happy. And I was like... Oh, jeez. Holy shit. That's a very grown-up thing to say and realize. Wow. Okay. So I've seen that. Yeah. And like... Also, you got him trapped in the car, so like... Yeah. Yeah. No, it was just... It was a very cool thing to hear my son say.

[00:46:25] And... Because he knew, right? Like, he could have said something dumb. Like, well, you know, she gained 10 pounds. Yeah. Right? Yeah. For sure. Well, and that's a reflection on you and your wife. That's the job you did. So... Yeah. When they get older, and this is from my experience, like seeing how... Because my daughter's 14 and a half. Okay. But at 14 and a half, they're having real-life situations. For sure. They're in real-life problems, issues. Like, they're experiencing... Yeah.

[00:46:54] They're not kids the same way. Well, yeah. They're experiencing things for the first time, right? Especially now. Like, now is different. And so... Totally different. I think it's... Everything's a little fast-tracked in some ways. Yeah. Not always, though. It's actually kind of a bit of both. But you get to see the results of who they become when they handle those tough situations or when they have real-life scenarios that, like... And how they handle it. Yeah. Take critical thinking or how did... What did I teach them in that moment? And you see that. You see, like, oh, you picked that up.

[00:47:23] Like, the way I treat my wife. Like, my daughter's example of how a man should treat her is how I treat my wife. Yeah. And so, those poor fucking kids that are going to try and date my daughter because I'm pretty good to my wife. Yeah. Yeah. And so, like... But that's my job. It's like... Set the expectation high. She should expect nothing less than that. Yeah. Or more. Yeah. No, 100%. And we've talked about this with my wife, too. Like, I used to have, like, big anger issues. And that was a big issue.

[00:47:53] So, you know, we said, like, yeah, I don't want my daughter to see that it's okay for the man to get angry and leave and pissed off and just have his way, right? Like, that's not who I want for my daughter. Yeah. And obviously not for my wife, either. And I had to make these changes because otherwise we wouldn't be together today. Go ahead, sir. And that was just like a... Yeah. Like, you set this example for your kids. Yeah. And, like, with boys, with Jacob, too, I always try to...

[00:48:22] Like, he's a little bit interested and I'm just like, okay, but, like, you need to be respectful. You need to be... Like, if she says no, that means fucking no. Yeah. You walk away. Yeah. And respect is everything. Like, you need to respect women. Respect everybody. But, like, with women, you need to be... They're delicate souls, you know? The way I... At least that's the way I was told, like... That's how we were... Our generation of people was raised that way. Yeah, you need to be polite to them. You don't be an asshole.

[00:48:51] Never lay a hand on a woman. And I'm sure you've had that conversation with your boys that... Well, you guys may have or may not have had experiences, too, where you were with a woman and stuff's happening and they say no and you're like, yeah, okay. And you're respectful. Yeah. And they're like, oh, you know, last guy didn't stop. Yeah. Yeah. It's like... Those stories are way more common than I ever understood. It's crazy. Yeah. It's fucked.

[00:49:21] It's awful. And so, like... But the beauty is that if you're a good man, you get to teach your young men how to be good men. Yeah. Like, here's... Our job is to teach them how to... My job is to teach my daughter what to expect from a man. Yeah. And your job is to teach your sons how to be a good man. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. And, like, then you get to see that. And that's great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like him saying, like, I just... I don't think I could make her happy. It's like, that's a very mature, like, evaluation of that. Yeah.

[00:49:50] And it's not that, you know, he is a bad guy or anything, but it's just like, yeah, he probably saw that, hey, these are my interests. Yeah. And her interests are completely different. And I don't want to change my thing. And I'll never, you know, I'll never be able to please her. Like, in that relationship, too, it was so good. She had extreme discomfort with her period. And he'd be like, hey, I'm going to go visit. And then we'd be driving. He'd be like, can we go into Dollarama? And he would, like... Chocolate.

[00:50:20] Chocolate. Like chocolate. Yeah. Everything to try to make her comfortable, right? Well, and that's... That's nice. And that is our job. Yeah. Like, as men, that is our job. Yeah. And our job is to take care of our women. Yeah. 100%. And so, I don't care if it's someone you just started dating or it's someone you've been married to for 22 years. Yeah. That's our responsibility. And, like, we've never had periods. And, like, from the looks of it, it's fucking shitty. And so, it's like, yeah. When my daughter...

[00:50:50] She'll fucking hate that I told this. But she doesn't listen to the show. So, when she had her first period, I went out and I got... Not her first. It was, like, her second or something. I won't tell the story of the first. But I went out to the... I said, I'll be back in 20 minutes. I went out. I came home with all these stuff, bags full of stuff. And I... We have a... It's kind of an island or whatever in our kitchen. And I just... I made an entire period buffet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was in her room.

[00:51:20] She was just in her room, like, just being with herself. Yeah, yeah. And I just said, hey, come out here. And she looks at the counter and she's just like, what... What is all this? And I'm like, that's a period buffet, as best I could guess. And she's like, oh my God. And my wife was just like, I can't... She was in tears. She's like, I can't believe you did that. I was like, well, that's my job. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. I can't understand how she's feeling. But I know enough to know that this will help. And I can help.

[00:51:50] How much comfort can I bring to this situation? I can leave the house. I can go do a little bit of stuff. I can put in 20 minutes of effort to completely change her experience. And also, like... Just make her feel better. Make sure she dates a good guy later. And when he doesn't make one for her, like, well, fuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Someday, some guy's going to come up to me who's been dating her for a while. He's going, you're a dick. And I'll be like, yeah, fuck you. What's a period buffet? Work harder, asshole. Yeah, period buffet's not what you're thinking, buddy.

[00:52:21] Aww. I wonder. Okay. No, but it's funny, like... And my kids know my sense of humor. They know I'm an idiot. But there's a couple times now where, like... I knew that Gabby was not on her period. And... But I just... She was grumpy a little bit. And so I made that comment, like... Oh, what's going on? You're on your period or something? And then...

[00:52:50] She right away knew that I'm joking. And she's just like, oh, my God. You know, like... She gave me that, like, fuck off look. But you earn that. Oh, yeah. Like, those... Because that's a pretty... I don't do it... Yeah. Well, and you also never know what that's going to turn into. Yeah. I don't do it when I know... And that's the nice thing that, like, Adriana kind of tells me, like, hey, it's that time. Oh, okay. Thank you. Because now I know not to make that fucking joke. I can tell... I can... With my women at home, I can tell a week before. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[00:53:20] I know. I'm not... I can't tell, but I'm not good at tracking. I don't track it, but, like, I got a general idea. Sometimes... You just turn into a pirate, you're like, oh, there'll be a foul wind blowing. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's just... I love it that, like, my wife gives me the... Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. Okay. Well, then you know what to do with... Sometimes I miss the hints. You also know what to do with it. Like, we're not... We don't have that. We don't feel that.

[00:53:49] Like, we adapt to that. Exactly. Yeah, right. And so that's our job as men is to do our best to understand. Yeah. And I think if you just do... Like, I... It's pretty funny. I buy most of the tampons and things that come into my home. Oh, yeah. I go buy them. Yeah. Because I'm the go out and do stuff guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm the one who goes, does the running around, or if you need this or that last... I'll go boot out and get it. Like, I don't mind doing that. I like to be of service. Yeah. And that's an easy way to be of service.

[00:54:18] It's like, you stay home. You're comfortable. Yep. I'll get in the car. I'll go out for 20 minutes and pick up whatever. I'll just send you my grocery list then. No. Oh. Absolutely not. I'm not doing that for you. What the fuck do I get out of that? Me? Yeah, you're pretty good. I have you anyways. Just imagine, though, if you bought them tampons. Yeah. I'm going to for next episode. Can you please... Okay, I did it. The maxi ones or whatever. I don't even know what they're called.

[00:54:48] I never buy that stuff. Oh, no, I do it all the time. No, I just... You know what? Adriana does all that shopping. Yeah. And she does the shopping most of the time because when she takes Jacob to take him on to super stores right down the street. Oh, okay. She goes for a walk, she runs to the store, and then she does that. My wife does all the grocery shopping. I do all the fill-ins in between. Okay. Anything in between, I do. She does the main... We order delivery, but she does all the main stuff, and then anything in between is my job. Okay. Yeah.

[00:55:16] It works out quite well, actually, because there's always like... In a week, there's like 10 things. Yeah. Before we get... Because we're getting to the end, but how much did you enjoy having four helpers? Around the house to start doing chores that were your chores. So like, you know, cutting the grass. Yeah. Because I mean, you have... You're assuming he makes them do that. I'm curious to hear this. It's funny because I honestly do that stuff.

[00:55:44] Like, I don't know what it is about my personality, but if the grass needs to be mowed, I mow the grass. Okay. Yeah. Right? So they do have chores. We have a rotating, but it's for four specific things. Yeah. And it's laundry, cat litter, washing the dishes, taking out the garbage and the recycling. Okay. Those are good ones. Yeah. And they will, like now they will.

[00:56:11] There's been times where I come home and someone's mowing the grass, which is awesome. Yeah. But yeah. Do they do it properly? Or do you care? I don't have a method. Yeah. Can I be judgmental for a second? Yeah. You're an analytical brain for sure. Yeah. So when they mow the grass, are you like, fuck? Have you let it go maybe? But do you have to, like, do you feel like, oh shit, he didn't do it like this? I'm just, as long as they.

[00:56:40] I'm just being judgy. Yeah. Yeah. No. When they finish up, if they've got 10 toes, we're good. Okay. Cool. Okay. Yeah. There has been times, though, right? Like, I go into the backyard, like, holy fuck, dude. I have to do the whole fucking thing. Also, they're kids. Like, they don't see it. I talk to my... They don't give a shit about the mohawk by the shed. I talk to my parents. Yeah. Yeah. I talk to my parents about this today. I was on the phone on the way over here with them and, like, talking about how they see things. Yeah.

[00:57:09] So, like, when the house is messy, my daughter does not see it the same way I see it. Yeah. At all. Not even close. And I don't see it the way my wife sees it. And I don't... Yeah. And, like, certain things I don't see the way my wife sees it. Certain things she doesn't... Like... And it's always... Yeah. Like... Yeah. I want everything a certain way, but I also, like, I don't want to do it. So... My big thing with that... So you start to make concessions pretty quick, but... Yeah. So it... A lot of the stuff that I do attack, it's because I realize that I'm the one who has an issue

[00:57:39] with it. It's your problem. Yeah. And everyone else sees it and they're fine with it. Yeah. And it's driving me nuts. So then I'll go and I'll take care of it. Well, or it's a teaching moment. Yeah. And on top of that, it's like, well, my way is not the only way. And, like, I'm just glad you did it. Yeah. Yeah. Does my daughter load the dishwasher the way I would? No. Oh, yeah. But am I happy that she does it? And she does it to the best of her ability? Yes. Can I show her how to do it better? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Am I going to do that every time? No. Yeah.

[00:58:09] So what? Like, we were on the dishwasher one extra time because it didn't... Whatever. Shit properly. Yeah, whatever. So what? Who gives a shit? Like, that doesn't matter. She made the effort. She tried. She's 14 and a half. Like, I'm 42. Yeah. I just thought of the time where, like, I asked Jacob to cut the lawn in the front because it's a smaller area. Yeah. I was like... And we have, like, an electric lawnmower now. Yeah. And I was like, everything said just start. And then I guess he moved it, moved the settings a little bit. I come to the front.

[00:58:38] He's like... Oh, really? Just like... Yes. He put it to the lowest. I just went fucking clean there, right? I'm like, oh, shit. Okay. Well, he grew back. But I was like, ah, fuck. Like, come on, dude. Don't need to cut it for a couple weeks. My first comments were like, didn't you see that it's, like, being super... No, he didn't see that. But that's the thing. When did... Like, my thought was like, when did you see our grass cut solo? No, it's not... But... Yeah. It's his perception. And he did it. He went out and did it.

[00:59:07] And he did actually probably what he thought was the best version of what he was trying to... Yeah. ...being asked to do. So now I know I have to be specific with him, like, very detailed. Bishop is the first one out of our boys. The kids have great names, by the way. Oh, thank you, man. Yeah. But Bishop will be like, well, you didn't tell me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck you, Ami. You're right. I did. I wanted to not have to tell you. But the names thing...

[00:59:36] So our first son's name is Loki. And I... So good. I told people I wanted to name him Mojo Boone. Okay. Because then he's born to play the blues, right? Yeah. Like that. Yeah. He'll pick up a fucking guitar with no lessons and just play. Yeah. And then... I love your thinking, Byno. Lana was about five months pregnant and she was like, okay, like, seriously. Like, we need a name. I gave you a name. Yeah. And I grew up...

[01:00:05] Actually, what kind of led me to comic books was mythology. Okay. Yeah. So I was like, well, what about Loki? And she was like, sure. So my dog's name is Loki. Yeah. Oh, there's so many dogs. And he is not named after the Marvel character. Yeah. He is named after the Greek god of the underworld. Yeah. Like, the trickster god of the underworld. My wife is very, very much into mythology and Greek mythology and different pantheons and all that stuff.

[01:00:33] And so she wishes we didn't name him Loki now because he really embraced the name that we gave him. Our son is the opposite. You know my dog. So like... Yeah. She's like, couldn't we... We should have named him Romeo. And I'm like, what? So he's going to off himself at ten? I'm like, what? No, I don't want that either. That's too dramatic. Yeah. But we painted ourselves into the corner, right? Because then with the second son coming up, it's like, well, we can't call him Charlie. No. Right? Like, here's Loki, here's Charlie. So it's like, fuck.

[01:01:03] Which I always wanted to have a Charlie because that was my grandpa's name. Oh, yeah, yeah. And that was my dad's middle name. Yeah. And... You could stick it in the middle there somewhere. You could do whatever you want. I mean, Charles is okay. Yeah, yeah. So then... Charles? Charles Xavier? That's... Xavier is Loki's middle name. Oh, okay. So then we also started sticking with the X middle name. So Loki Xavier, Bishop Zander. Yeah. Griffin Zane.

[01:01:33] Yeah. And Riker Zorn. Okay. And with Riker, we were like, holy fuck. Like, are we doing Xerxes? Like, is there anything else left? Right? Like, x-ray? I guess we gotta have another one. Yeah. If I have a kid named Xylophone, fuck it. It's time to get a mastectomy. Like... Well, that was it, man. When he came out, I was on the phone. Hello? Yeah. Put me on the table next, right? We're shutting down the shop. Yeah.

[01:02:03] We've reached the end of those names. But that was the scariest thing, too, right? For five years, I was like, well, what if? What if my mastectomy... It happens. I had visions of, like, one sperm and a little General Lee just jumping that chasm, right? But, like, once we're, like, at the finish line, like, once all the kids are in school, I'd be like, oh, guess what? Here you go. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[01:02:29] That happened to my buddy, and they love him dearly, but that was... Yeah. That was a tough one to digest for them. I love being a young dad. You know, I'm 40, and I have a 16- and a 12-year-old kid. Like, that's great. And some of my friends didn't start families until, like, in their 30s and even later, and I'm just like, good for you. Like, great. Nothing against that. Yeah. But I would just hate to be in that position myself, to be in, like, you know, I have a teenage kid now in my 50s or 60s.

[01:02:58] Your 60s or 50s. Yeah. Yeah. I see people who do it, and I actually have a couple of people who do it. People who do it.

[01:03:05] I have a couple of friends who it's kept them young.

[01:03:34] I'm not going to be 60 going to my daughter's graduation. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. That's all. Yeah. Who's perfect grandpa is that? Yeah. Well, and then you watch old dads and shit, and it's like, well, it's pretty funny, actually. Yeah, but still, yeah, yeah. But I don't want that to be me. I'm grateful that's not me, but also no shade on anyone who's going through that. Everyone should have kids. Yeah. I don't know if I've said that on this show before, but like, I have a very strong belief that everybody should have a family and have kids.

[01:04:02] It's a whole other level of love. Yeah. Right? Like, I love my wife, but when that first kid came out, it was just like, it's like if you only saw fireworks at St. Clear Lake your whole life, and then all of a sudden someone went, and here's Disney. Yeah. Oh my God. It's a different, deeper level of purpose.

[01:04:30] So to give you just, I know we have to wrap up, but whatever. But to give you just a bit of context, like my daughter's technically my stepdaughter. Okay. But like, I have never, she's my daughter, and we don't share custody with anybody. She's my daughter. And I have never felt purpose in life the way I felt it when she was my daughter. Yeah. Like, never.

[01:04:55] There is nothing you can do in your life, and I can only speak as a man, that will give you that level of purpose ever. Yeah. 100%. You can be as dedicated to your career. You can be as dedicated as you want to your wife, to your pet, and those are all great things. Oh yeah. But nothing will ever, ever feel the same as having a child. Yeah. The reward. Yeah. I said, I had a weird week. I said to my dad two days ago, it's like I was prepping for this show, but I said to

[01:05:22] him, I said, my life has never been more complicated, and it has also never been more fulfilling than it is today. That's amazing. Because of my wife and my daughter. Yeah. Feeling needed, wanted, and appreciated by the people closest to you is so rewarding. When you have a job. Yeah. You have a task. Men are task job people. Yeah. You gave me this thing that I get to raise for the rest of my entire life if I'm lucky enough. Yeah.

[01:05:51] When you feel not wanted is when it hurts. Like, you know, just simple things. Like, I wanted to offer her something to help my daughter. Like, and she's like, no, no, I got it. So I'm like, oh. Yeah. No, I know. Fuck. I want to help you. Well, you have to find a new purpose. Exactly. You got to find a different way. Yeah. But that's, that is a purpose that is so far beyond anything else. I can take my dog for a walk. No problem. Yeah. But like, I'm raising my daughter. Yeah.

[01:06:20] And like, that never stops. Yeah. It does. Changes, but it never stops. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. We can close on that. Yeah. I'll take the close on this one. Beautiful. I like it. Thanks for joining us. Dude, thank you so much for being here. This was an absolute pleasure. I feel like we only scratched the surface. So we get to bring them back again, which is nice. Anytime. Yeah. Just, I'm really grateful you took time out of your fucking unbelievably busy schedule to join us. And that means the world to us. Our guests usually get a quiet riot mug, but I'm out.

[01:06:50] Oh yeah. I realized that we're out. So I have to get some more and then I'll deliver it to you. Yeah. Yeah. Just load it up with some beer and toss it on me. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. We'll see you in the picture right after that happens. Yeah. We'll see you in the picture. So when we post this episode, you'll see that. I'll use that as a thumbnail later. What the hell? Thanks again for joining us today, man. Loved it. Thank you guys both very much for having me. Thanks so much, man. I appreciate it. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of the Quiet Riot Show. We want to give a big shout out to our sponsors for making this show possible.

[01:07:20] And of course, thank you, our amazing listeners, for your support. Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok. We're at Quiet Riot Show on all platforms. Don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can watch full episodes of the podcast. If you're enjoying the show, please rate and review us wherever you're listening. It really helps us grow and reach more listeners like you. We'd also love to hear from you. Have questions, suggestions, or thoughts about the show?

[01:07:48] Drop us an email at quietriotshow at gmail.com. Thanks again for listening, and we'll see you next time on the Quiet Riot Show.