"Positive Vibes" with Tim and Tommy

[00:00:00] I'm super happy. The whole thing is like, today is a shitty day, it's okay. Tomorrow is another day and let's move forward. Let's not worry about why today was shitty. Tomorrow is another day and just enjoy life to the fullest.

[00:00:17] I've also received some news from a friend who's not doing so well. My buddy Scott took his own life. Another friend of ours passed away from cancer. Our days are numbered, we don't know when it's happening.

[00:00:29] So actually Kevin Smith said one thing, I saw a reel from him and he was saying like you know like 10-20 years ago, I would tell you like what's a shitty movie, why it's bad right? And then he's like I wouldn't tell you that today because I'm not gonna dwell on this shit. Why would I tell you what's shitty? Let's focus on the good things, let's focus on the now.

[00:00:50] So much beautiful truth in that.

[00:01:06] Hey buddy. Hey! It's fucking been a while. I'm back! I mean I saw you like yesterday for a few minutes. Two days ago. Was that two days ago? No, that was yesterday. No, that was two days ago. Really? Yeah, it was Saturday, it was Monday.

[00:01:29] Oh, well. I saw you recently. How's that? Is that better? Yeah, there you go. For the first time in a while. Did I see you in between your trip and the other trip? No, no. And all my trips? I got sick. Yeah, I guess you were on a trip too.

[00:01:44] I was two, two weeks. My trips were not nearly as exciting as yours. I mean they were. What do you mean? Saskatchewan? Yeah, I mean. For those of you who listen to this and don't know about Saskatchewan, it's awful. Nobody likes that place.

[00:02:02] Yeah, some people that live there do. I guess they have no choice. And they don't like it. Don't say they like it. They live there. It doesn't mean they like it. But yeah, you went to Toronto as well. I did. I'm sure that was a good time.

[00:02:18] I'm sure you're still mad at me about that. Extremely mad. You gotta let it go. No, I don't care. So when are you gonna let it go? I know we have to really get drunk together.

[00:02:34] Here's what happened. Yeah, what did you tell that story? I was booked to go to Toronto with me, with Tommy or at the same time as Tommy. Let's say we were going to meet up in Toronto. We have friends there. I have like a whole family of people there and Tommy has gotten to know some of those people.

[00:02:56] They're fucking gentle. Well, one of them. The other one is an idiot. Yeah, they're both idiots. So we were booked to go together or at the same time he was going to do a work thing. I was doing whatever. And then that's what happened.

[00:03:15] Yeah, that's essentially what happened. So money's tight. It's been a weird year for me in business and so it just didn't make sense for me to fund that trip on my own. And so I decided to back out of it. And then the customers I had kind of reached out to to like create a business trip out of it because that's the benefit is like you do a business trip out of it and then the company pays for flights and hotels or whatever. My own company. But it's different. Yeah, it's different.

[00:03:45] It's a different company is paying for. And so I get that part. It happened. That happened to be that like I tried to make it work. So I was like, OK, I'm going to email these customers are going to try and set up meetings for these dates and blah, blah, blah.

[00:03:58] And it just the timing with what worked for them was a week off of the timing of what worked for Tommy and I's original intention of being there together. And he's so mad at me about it. So I had to go like now they're they want to have these meetings. I have to go. Yeah. And it was like actually unbelievably successful and great. Super happy for you. I know you also hate my guts. No, I understand that. So let's just get that out of the way so it doesn't get in the way of the show. OK, OK, OK.

[00:04:26] So I'm sorry, but that's just how it worked out. And I couldn't I can't change that. And so here we fucking are. Yeah, that's all get over it. That's all you got to get over it. Never. We can't move forward unless you just fucking get over this one. I'm keeping in the bank. Really?

[00:04:45] Like this is like this is the of all the things over the years. I know it's like you took Christmas away from the one.

[00:04:55] Well, welcome everyone back to the choir. I show it's a little more tense than it has been previously. But I guess fucking you know, here we are. You are the reason I drank so much this past month. Oh, me. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, we'll get into that.

[00:05:10] I don't know what episode this is. It doesn't matter. We're actually so doing the thing. I haven't seen you in a long time, man. I missed you so much. Oh, it's like I really missed you so much. I had a I had a blast. I love you. And I'm so glad that you got to do what you got to do. But also, like, I fucking missed you. I had a great time.

[00:05:31] And but every time I was I was out there doing my thing, I was like, Oh, man, I wish Tim was here. I know it was sidekicks were fucking Batman and Robin. Wait, who's Batman? Who's Robin? I'm Robin for sure. Well, fuck, I don't want to be Batman. Why? Really? Too much responsibility. Okay, I'll be okay. Good.

[00:05:52] I'll be whatever. Well, in the studio, I feel like I'm the Batman you're Robin because you just show up and do your thing. Yeah, I just do. So I don't want to do that. All right, I'll be Batman. Okay. But no, I truly missed you too. And like I said, I've wanted like everything I was doing. I'm like, Oh, man. I wish you were here. So yeah, I get that. And I feel the same. And you like you're posting pictures, you're sending me shit. You're out drinking with people at 5am. You're hiking. You're going on hikes. You're like, Oh, man, I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want

[00:06:22] to go on a morning hike with your son. Yeah, I want to I'm sure you wanted to do the hikes. No, I would I would love that like I we always have a good time. We hang out, and so had I've felt like I missed out and like

[00:06:37] someday we'll go to Slovakia together, and I'll bail a week early, and I'll just go more for you. Yeah, exactly. I'll hang out with your family and do those things it will cross paths under the fine 100 percent

[00:06:52] So welcome back everyone. We're probably a little bit late. Yes episode. Yeah, we're gonna be probably a week We're gonna read set the schedule. Yeah, so we are approaching one year actually are we really?

[00:07:05] Yeah, so July is when we released our first episode and this will be released. Oh, we're like at a year mid-june So yeah So this is the I guess yeah

[00:07:14] This is the last episode of this season technically if we're gonna do a new season are we gonna go season two? I mean I don't think we're not gonna take a break. We're gonna

[00:07:26] Yeah, I think during the summer we might skip a week or two here and there yeah, we just it's some Yeah summers are short right so we want to enjoy them

[00:07:36] But we're gonna continue our thing and yeah, we don't get endless summer like the men's health unscripted guys, right? They just live in summer Fucking 365 days a year, that's not our life right No, we get about three months. I if that that's comfortable

[00:07:54] It's been raining a lot so like yeah, you actually haven't had any summer. I mean shorts weather. Let's call it I don't wear shorts. I don't even know No, is that cuz like you're I have like a bathing suit. You're insensitive. There's probably one at your house

[00:08:07] There is I leave them everywhere. But like other than bathing suits. I don't own shorts. Yeah, I Like I have more time wearing long pants really yeah in like warm weather like what's warm like

[00:08:19] 20 like today. Yeah. Oh, yeah, really? Oh god nice today though. Yeah to be fair No, like I get lots of heat in my undercarriage Like I like loose pants Yeah, maybe you should for the sake of me Where the shorts by you shorts good

[00:08:45] My my old shorts kind of seem to shrink did they shrink or did you get bigger? They shrunk Fucking cloth right so no, but anyways you were gone for quite a while Before you get into the let's check in let's check right now. Let's do the check

[00:09:11] I would say let's say since I've last Seen you ignoring two days ago, okay And ignoring the trip and everything What trip the fact that you you know, oh my amazing trip to Toronto That was a tent No, I would say I'm I'm a seven, okay

[00:09:37] things in my life are settling into a Not a routine but like a little more of a normal And if you've been following this show like it's been chaos and it's been a little craziness and whatever and so That's starting to feel

[00:09:55] Like whether I'm getting better at managing it or it's just changing It feels good. No and like my relationship with my wife my time with my wife and my daughter and my home Has changed and like it's gotten better And it's usually just means like more

[00:10:12] Yeah, I've spent more time with my family and so I actually feel really good and like works not exhausting me It's actually energizing me and like I've hit sort of a bit of a stride right now and so I'm gonna

[00:10:25] Take that as a win as long as I can And I think I'm a seven which for me is like kind of pretty good. Yeah. Yeah You know since I last saw you I would say so today

[00:10:42] It's been tough, but the weather kind of changed on us. It was nice and sunny and then true the fork when that when the Overcast rolls in I Instantly change like my mood change. Are you affected pretty heavy?

[00:10:55] I guess I can wake up in a basement here not know what the weather is out like and I know that it's shitty Yeah, yeah, I can feel it. So that kind of affected my mood today But since I last saw you are recorded an episode

[00:11:11] Fuck I would say I'm a I'm a eight and a half tonight. Oh shit. Yeah, like this trip We're killing it This is the first time I've been it took us a year seven and you've been like whatever you are

[00:11:27] That hasn't happened yet. I honestly don't actually think we could find an episode where that's happened Yeah, I think I've had an up close to this or maybe even this number but there was a very short spike mmm and honestly, like from about like

[00:11:43] Halfway through my trip I start feeling like better and better and better and better and Was it something happened? Was it like D did you need a break and that like I think that was a

[00:11:56] Reset yourself or I think it helped me. That's kind of what we're talking about Yeah, that's what we're gonna talk about. Are we just rolling into it like her we can yeah, so basically halfway through the trip I kind of Finally my body body relaxed

[00:12:11] My mind relaxed, you know Finished you have to still finish a couple jobs. So while I was there I was still working but You know it would they were minor things So I didn't have anything that oh I still need to get this done it

[00:12:26] You know, so like literally my mind just shut off and I didn't have any My only thing that I had to think about was making sure that I do something with my son Yeah, that's so it was amazing. That must have been crazy. Yeah. Yeah

[00:12:39] so and then just kind of started rethinking certain things and looked at my life a little bit from a different perspective and It's just been Going up. So what it like so, okay

[00:12:53] So yeah, let's just a backtrack a little bit like you went back to your home country. Yeah, just Slovakia with your son who's He's 10. Yeah For three weeks, yeah Yeah, so that's a big already that's a big step like that's a big trip that's not a short

[00:13:17] That's not like going to Minneapolis. That's right It's not like this weekend trip. Yeah That's a serious deal like you're on flights. You're doing hours and hours of travel It was about 22 hours all together

[00:13:31] Yeah, and like time changes and all those things like that can be a heavy thing. I Love traveling. Do you do you mind the? Jet lag no whatever that is like you went ahead What seven hours seven hours?

[00:13:47] so going to Europe is not bad and like our flights were really good because we left in the afternoon like at five o'clock here and And So we're flying into the night So we went through Toronto and I think we left at 10 p.m. From Toronto

[00:14:02] perfect good because like we crashed right and You arrived in Europe and we had a little bit of wait by the time we got to my hometown It was like 5 6 p.m.

[00:14:13] So you're exhausted but it's nice because you just push a little bit further by eight minutes bedtime And then you're done and you sleep it sleep right to the morning and you're good to go on the way back

[00:14:23] It's a little bit harder. Was your son the same way? Yeah, yeah, I call him by his name on the sure Yeah, was Jacob the same did you kind of get in line pretty quick?

[00:14:33] Yeah, poor guy was so tired already like in the Toronto at the Toronto flight like he's just like dad I'm just gonna go about like dude. They're just serving food. He's like, I don't care

[00:14:43] I'm like no you need to eat because you're gonna get sick and you'll wake up three hours Yeah, I was like no so he had to you know, like he ate a little bit

[00:14:50] We had to force him but it was like whatever it's fine and then he passed out and He was a long comfortable but cuz like yeah, I can't comfortable and I can lean back on and in the seat

[00:15:01] And I can sleep. I sure fall asleep in this chair. Yeah Yeah, he was a little uncomfortable, but you know lifted the middle like that armrest thing Yeah, kind of laid on me a little bit. So yeah, so we only managed and yeah, we got to Europe

[00:15:14] He was super excited and my mom and dad were waiting with my niece at the airport And we arrived in Slovakia and then Jacob saw them. I'm like you want to go is like, yeah Okay, bye. He just took off Always for the luggage, you know

[00:15:30] And like remember there's a language barrier too. Yeah, but I speak very little like He's learned he's learned more to understand it now that okay has been there But Google Translate is a wonderful thing. Sure. Yeah, so He just read

[00:15:49] So he's going out and there's a big sliding door. Yeah, so he walks up to the sliding door. It's like it's not opening So that one of the workers had to go there wave it Yeah, he was hilarious

[00:16:03] But he just like standing there like hey nothing, you know, and anyway, so when went to mom and dad I got my luggage we went there everything was great You know, we hung out the first night got to see my brother and my sister-in-law as well

[00:16:17] Yeah, just hung out had some food drinks and then went to bed right so yeah nice yeah, so That's a lot of travel that's exhausting like that like it's a long day or two days or whatever you want to call it

[00:16:31] Yeah, it's a long day. I'm glad he did well now. He's done it before Two years ago last year last year last year and then because even before that so you all go last year Yeah, yeah, I think we probably talked about on the show

[00:16:45] Yeah, that's why I had that big fight with my mom. Oh right. So we're gonna get into that Situation It didn't seem like this time that happened but we'll get into that

[00:16:57] Yeah, so okay, so you did the flights you and your son. This is like the perfect dad son trip Yeah, like and okay, we're leaving the ladies. That's right. We're out of here. Yeah, we're doing our own thing We're gonna be boys for

[00:17:12] It is a very like masculine thing it definitely was dad and his son going on a Fucking pilgrimage back to where I came from and yeah, and like shit where you came from totally

[00:17:25] Yeah, like he's he's totally I just think about my daughter. I'm like if I took her to Fucking Netherlands and like this is where my people started. She'd be like I don't what's for lunch

[00:17:38] No, he really liked it he really he was really looking forward to it because he does have some friends there actually Yeah, one of our one of our friends son, he speaks his fluent in speaks fluently in English

[00:17:54] Europeans are they do they study five other language. They study English right from the get-go. So Yeah So that he was looking forward to that he was just like looking forward to hanging out with grandma grandpa

[00:18:07] So that was the he has a good relationship with your mom and dad Yeah And so like the whole thing was the same setup as if you guys remember from last year when I was saying like

[00:18:16] My parents have a cottage. So my parents stayed at the cottage most of the time and I had in Hungary Yeah, which is like only 14 15 kilometers or so. Yeah Fucking your right geographic lines. So I had the apartment talking about so I had the apartment to myself

[00:18:33] So that was really nice that like that was that was our base basically, like, you know, that's right Yeah, and So I kind of told my mom and dad Even when I went five years ago with my just with my daughter that

[00:18:48] The only reason I went this time was because of the IIHF championship Like if it wasn't for the championship, I wouldn't have gone Yeah And so I'm like I'm here to watch hockey with my friends Like this is going back when I still live there

[00:19:03] Like we would watch almost every game kind of you know, sit down analyze all the teams and kind of discuss it and like See what's gonna happen. Right? So that was a that I don't get to do that here

[00:19:14] So when I was there on vacation, I was like, okay, I really want to Dive deep. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Kind of redo that kind of bring memories back Helps you detach from like work. Yeah Yeah, for sure. So so, you know, I was like look Jacobs here

[00:19:32] I'll bring him out to the cottage. We'll go out together. We'll hang out in the evening I'm coming in because I want to watch the games like go back to the to my home 14 kilometers

[00:19:41] Yeah, exactly. And then I could walk that so I was first worried about the so not the first night But the second night we were there like see how Jacob's gonna handle, you know, just being by himself Without me there. No, again language barrier was there

[00:19:57] Fucking kid no problem. But your your dad doesn't speak English No, your mom understands it somewhat. Yeah and can speak a little bit. Am I like she'll understand words

[00:20:09] So they can kind of they can pick it apart and like she'll she'll say like brush hair, you know, yeah And Jacob's like no That kids got serious let us like he's killing it

[00:20:21] But the funniest thing is so that and so the next day, you know, I woke up and I went right away I mean I got drunk. So still probably hung over the next day

[00:20:28] You were probably texting me at 4 a.m. Which for me was like, but I was like, okay I you know as being being a responsible dad. I'm like, I don't care how how drunk I was like It's a loose term, but sure I didn't drive I didn't drive

[00:20:43] That is the responsible dad exactly But I had to go I said I'm gonna go back out for breakfast and everything so I'm like, yeah, I'm doing it right and You know first thing Jacob says like oh Grandma snores so bad. I couldn't I couldn't sleep on my

[00:21:01] He's like I grabbed my phone and I typed it in the Google Translate and then showed it to grandma She started laughing woke my dad up and like I had a whole thing at night. So no problem, you know Yeah

[00:21:15] But yeah, so he really enjoyed spending the time with them because my parents obviously Having a grandson there for short period of time. They're not gonna like my in-laws here. They're more likely to kind of

[00:21:29] Not educate but like kind of tell my kids. Okay. Well, you should do this, you know Well, they have more interactions exactly more influence. So while he's there, you know, they just they just want to hang out with him

[00:21:41] Exactly. So there's times where Jacob just wanted to go on the phone So like they're hanging out together in a bed and he was on the phone But like at least awesome, they got to be with yeah

[00:21:49] And they really enjoyed that time and also like they took him outside went for a walk and this and that so He had a blast It was nice because the first few days like for me and I got to meet like few a few different friends and

[00:22:05] Yeah, I saw all the fucking friends Got to you got to spend the night with my brother and just like, you know Drink and hang out and just have a good time. So the first weekend was very busy for me. Yeah, I know

[00:22:20] Getting messages at one in the morning and it's like eight in the morning where you are. It's like Okay, but it was it was really good like my mom I Kind of accepted that I'm not gonna be with them most of the time, which I was very surprised

[00:22:37] So can we talk about that? Because I think we talked about it on this show before and if we didn't I'm not gonna give the backstory It's a whole thing. But goal is like you've had some Your last trip to Slovakia was like a bit of a difficult

[00:22:53] Actually towards the end very difficult trip in relation to like your relationship with your mother. Yeah I think we did that on this show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, we've so deep dive on that. Yeah

[00:23:07] So I was nervous for you going there cuz I was like fuck are we doing like is this It's gonna go on again. Like are we just doing the same fucking thing again? Which like listen when you're dealing with people who are like in their 70s

[00:23:21] It might just be that again and like yeah, that might just be what it is. But so I didn't We never talked while you were gone and that's what was happening

[00:23:32] Mm-hmm cuz like last time when you went like we were FaceTime and you called me like we talked about it and like It was really really challenging. Mm-hmm That's probably an understatement, but like yeah, it was really hard. So what do you

[00:23:45] Do you think it's something about how you? Left or have behaved last time that changed how it was this time or like what do you feel was different? Yeah, I'm not sure if cuz if that was really showed up and how you

[00:24:00] Behaved and did things and like what you wanted out of that experience wasn't any different this time. No, no And I don't think it was it had anything to do how It ended last time but I just

[00:24:13] Basically, I that's what I told my parents that my mom that look I'm here for one reason yeah The only reason I I managed to come this time was the Hawke That was the catalyst yeah, yeah, so I wouldn't say the only

[00:24:31] Yeah, but it was the catalyst of like what made you yeah and because because I'm here now I get to spend time with you for family friends, you know, so That this trip had other benefits coming with it. So Well, it's like friends with benefits. Yeah, exactly Slovakia

[00:24:51] Liver can't take it No, but it was just basically and I think part of it is also that I Didn't necessarily tell my mom every detail where where I went how long did you do that last time? Not necessarily, but the one time that she was close enough

[00:25:13] Yeah for her to find out sure that I was drink still drinking at 6 in the morning She got pissed off, you know, I didn't tell her that came home at 5 in the morning

[00:25:23] So is it a thing of like and it's weird when you get into your like late 30s and 40s Like you're in your late 30s. Yeah, I'm in my 40s Like you still feel like your parents are your parents

[00:25:38] Yeah, sometimes like in moments and it's not always but like in moments. You're like, I still my parents So you still like act a certain way or like our condition to

[00:25:49] behave a certain way and like respect is respect and we should always show our parents respect but like I'm fucking 40 like I'm not gonna explain to you why I was doing whatever I was doing until

[00:26:02] Whatever time I was doing it like even the details of like that's too much information, right? No This is my son. This is my family. This is my life and like Yeah, I'm not here to explain that to you

[00:26:14] So and so I I go through some of that as well in my life and not that it's negative. It's just like It just I feel I feel like this thing where I have to explain it and it's like oh wait

[00:26:27] I'm fucking 40. Yeah, like I don't have to explain should you shouldn't have to like you're welcome. I showed up Fuck you And like the utmost respect. Yeah with the utmost

[00:26:40] Sincerest respect fuck you like I don't this is not me living for you or you controlling what I do This is my life what I've created and like I've created it because you gave me the opportunity to create it

[00:26:55] Exactly, and that's like such a great like I want to be grateful for that also Fuck you Yeah, so that was kind of there was a gap between like your last trip and this trip

[00:27:09] We're like that shifted in a big way. It did it did you brought your son and Like you just do whatever the hell you wanted and you parented

[00:27:18] However, you wanted and you never like while you were gone. You didn't text me once upset about how the dynamic between Your parents didn't happen and your family interacted between How you wanted to be a dad?

[00:27:34] Yeah, doing that trip with your son and like if you listen back to what happened the last trip like that is Dramatically different. Yeah, what what what was different about that? So I think what happened to change?

[00:27:47] Yeah, so what I and I think I didn't really think of it until literally right now just listening to you is I actually like so we always made a plan Like the day before I would sit down with my mom and dad and like okay, so tomorrow

[00:28:02] I'm doing this so I'm gonna come out and hang out with you guys during the day and then I have plans in the evening And that's I didn't give any details. It was just like this is what we're doing

[00:28:14] Yeah, and now I'll see you again in the morning. So it was like yeah, I saw my parents every single day Which is great, which is great. Yeah, exactly. And then and so I think my mom

[00:28:24] Seeing that I wasn't I mean I was hungover but I wasn't hungover where like I was okay I need to go sleep it off or whatever, you know, like I always told my mom I'm not gonna be there at 8 o'clock in the morning, but I'm gonna come around 10 11

[00:28:36] right that gave me enough time to sleep it off or whatever like and and so I think it Because we made this plan and I followed through with that plan. Yeah

[00:28:47] She was happy. She was kind of like okay, like yeah, I know where I know where he is I know what he's doing. It's kind of satisfying both. Yeah, it's like I found like a happy medium

[00:28:59] She knows and I don't think she needs to know more details. Like you said, yeah There's no need for me to explain every single minute how many drinks one time. I told her I had like six whiskeys She's like six whiskies. I'm like six two hours like

[00:29:15] I definitely Recall it when you not exaggerate but what's the opposite downplayed? Yeah, definitely downplayed. Yeah But I think it's like I think we feel weird and like I feel weird about that too

[00:29:28] Like I'm 41 years old when I talk to my parents. I still feel like their kid Yeah well for sure and you are and the reality is you are and you want to be respectful and like I don't think it matters how

[00:29:42] Old you are your parents or your parents exactly and like they raised you They gave you the opportunity to be where you're at and like you're doing a great thing with the opportunity They've given you yeah, and that you're raising a beautiful family. You've got your son there

[00:29:58] Jacob's the coolest for the record. He was such an easy travel. Well, he's the easiest anything Yeah, like he's so fun. I love that we talked about it. Like yeah, you throw him into in any situation

[00:30:11] He's just he'll make it. Yeah. Well, he'll actually he'll make everyone fall in love with him Yeah, so like he's super easy at that Yeah But like you had a hard time and like how do you not bring that into? So I go through this and

[00:30:25] This is probably a lot but like I go through this with my daughter and my wife. Yeah My wife has her own relationship with her parents and my daughter Is not a part of that relationship. Mm-hmm

[00:30:39] So like let's throw it back to like you went to Slovakia last year You and your mom had a fucking tough go. Yeah, like really tough go. Yeah, it was not good But Like if you had Jacob there with you

[00:30:55] He wouldn't have had that same thing. That wasn't his experience. That wasn't his know Yeah, like that's his own life. Yeah and his own relationship with you and his own relationship with your parents That's right

[00:31:05] So the same thing happens with my like in-laws and my daughter and my wife like they have their own Long backstory and long history and like Rachel's their child. Yeah, she's 41 years old

[00:31:19] But she's their child and like autumn is the grandchild and she's such a sweet kind young lady But like she has a different relationship with them than Rachel does for sure. Like how do you let that be pure and keep that pure or kind or nice like

[00:31:38] It's hard it is hard to do that It is it is and you don't want to poison that like you know want to keep that Like I never talked like never talked about my mom when I had some issues with her in front of my kids

[00:31:51] Because because that is Yeah, and you know now everyone I know was listening to it So I guess we'll find out but no, but but that's just it right like you keep those relationships like separate Yeah, it's it's the grand grandparent and grandchild relationship is different

[00:32:08] Well, that's such a beautiful Grandparents are there to spoil your Hundred years ago. Nobody knew their grandparents because everyone was dead Yeah, so like we actually have a gift like they get to hang out they get to know each other

[00:32:21] So so I think the fact that I didn't get into a fight with with my mom was like not one No, so there was a there's a small tiff yeah, it was just more of like, you know what I

[00:32:35] Don't want it. I basically said I don't want to get into it. This is what's happening good and We don't need to talk about it anymore and I think we there was a little bit of tension for about half an hour

[00:32:45] Oh, that's not and that's it compared to last time and we moved on like that's it Yeah, this is night and day from last time. So why don't we take a little break? Sure

[00:32:57] Hey Tommy among all the episodes we've recorded, you know, there's one common theme and that's getting therapy We've talked about it lots Many many times you had a really tough time making that first phone call. I had a tough time making that first phone call

[00:33:13] I didn't even know if the person I was gonna see was the right person, but you got to just try Thank goodness. We have a sponsor that makes it way easier now Better help has an online platform that allows you to fill out a questionnaire

[00:33:27] They connect you with a therapist and you get to communicate with them however you want So whether that's text messaging that's emails that's through their app That's video chats you get all those options and it makes it way less scary to be connected with someone

[00:33:42] And if you're not into the person you talk to they'll sign you another one right away I've gotten a sign mine already and I can't wait here like by the time you hear this

[00:33:52] I will have had my first session and I'm super pumped to talk about it on the show Yeah, I'm very excited about it. And like it's very easy to sign up. It took us maybe five minutes to sign up and you answer just simple questions and

[00:34:05] Next thing, you know, you got a message that there will be paired up with a therapist and within the same day We got the therapist already and the name and a message from them and we were able to communicate with them

[00:34:17] So it's extremely easy. So please go to Better help calm. Yeah, that's the thing better help calm slash quiet riot show and you get to also Enjoy a 10% offer your first month if you sign up using this link

[00:34:33] So again right here, I'm gonna be doing from here. Yeah, it's better help Quiet ride show Yeah sign up today and you'll you're not gonna regret it because I'm already Enjoying it to just the fact that we connected with therapist me too, man

[00:34:53] Thank you to better help for supporting this podcast so that was that was the whole Situation with my mom that we we basically planned everything ahead and She was satisfied that I followed through it, you know, I showed up helped my dad a lot

[00:35:11] I was there with her spending time together. So That part the whole trip either in the one little, you know misunderstanding and like she wanted to vent a couple times about my brother and You know the second time around I was like mom

[00:35:25] You already told me I really don't want to hear it Yeah, fair, you know and you could tell that she wants to vent and and so this was already like halfway through my trip Which which I want to get into that it helped me realize

[00:35:41] a lot of things and I told my mom I was like look like what happened because like my brother is not the smartest guy Yeah, he's a cop

[00:35:53] And so he's he's made some decisions in the past wasted money he'll buy a vehicle he'll sell it then he'll buy a bike I was like look, he's an adult like, you know, don't worry about it. She's like, well we helped him so much financial

[00:36:12] I'm like, well first of all, that's your fault. Yeah you chose to help him find help them financially and if you're gonna Bitch about it then don't help him anymore. Why is my son? I'm like again, that's your decision and you have to live with your decision

[00:36:28] So like it's not your stuff. No, and then so I kind of said like look let the past go Stop worrying about what's going to happen and what can happen Just enjoy right now like enjoy the moment. Yeah, we're here. We're here. We're here. We're healthy. We're living

[00:36:46] We're we're enjoying each other's time. Let's not spend the time worrying bitching being negative like take the negativity and fucking throw it out in the garbage, you know

[00:36:57] And that was so that was that mindset that I was in that I am going to enjoy every single day that I'm there To the fullest, you know and fullest might be and you did I sure did

[00:37:09] But no and the thing is like to fullest it doesn't mean that I have to do everything that was on my list No, it's like I wanted to do ten things Let's say and I only got to do five

[00:37:23] But those five things were absolutely amazing and I'm happy that I got to do at least those five because you know what? Maybe it could have been worse that I wouldn't be able to do any of them

[00:37:34] Yeah, right. So so this was that that I told myself that this is gonna be a good time for me to unwind give my brain a little break and Enjoy and bond with my son Well, and I think that's like the

[00:37:50] That's actually the key to all of it. Mm-hmm. It's like you actually took this opportunity to bond with your son Yes, yeah, you and Jacob nobody else no and like we're here together man Like we're in it together exactly doing it

[00:38:05] So I did also he rolls with the punches like nobody else like he's just like fucking cool What I know the dude and also he gets to do some like pretty cool shit. He does he does

[00:38:15] Yeah, like there's a chick magnet that boy really wanted to yeah, he really wanted to do water skiing because there's one area in the city Where there's like a man made man-made lake and you can go water skiing they have like the track set up. Okay

[00:38:33] Yeah, and it was just it wasn't warm enough to to do that Like the nights were actually pretty cold which I fucking loved because during the day cold So like during the day it got to like 27 and 30 degrees

[00:38:47] Hot as fuck, but then at night it cooled off to like nine degrees. That's beautiful. That's it was so good I'm like because I I slept at the apartment by myself most of the nights fucking windows open

[00:38:59] You know, I had the cross breeze going and it was just absolutely fantastic. So, okay I was just looking at balls out, you know, like oh, this is so nice Okay, I didn't sleep in Well, you gotta play with that once in a while

[00:39:15] Check him, you know make sure everything's okay, right? Yeah But yeah overall I Just did the positive things you wanted to take a break. No, are you sure? Yeah, you're being super rude right now fuck you Trying to golf tomorrow. They can't give a fuck

[00:39:42] I talk about my feeling my one feeling Anger happiness, that's it How did you like how was Jacob on the trip he was absolutely amazing How'd you feel as a dad on the trip? I felt like The best human being ever because we

[00:40:06] So, you know as I mentioned in previous episodes when I was going through Depression like I've pushed my wife away. I pushed my kids away So I had to rebuild that relationship with my kids and I'm continuing to work on it

[00:40:22] Every day right and it's really hard with my daughter now because she's 15 and I don't know Oh, that's I don't know what I'm walking into. Well, it's a longer. It's a it's a more complicated rebuild

[00:40:33] Now did you feel going in with Jacob that like you had rebuilding to do and do you feel like he felt that? I Don't think He felt it or neither did I actually but I know this trip is going to be good for us, yeah and

[00:40:55] Because we get to do things that we don't usually do when you're out of the normal Yeah The hustle and bustle of life and yeah all the things you do to Keep your family functioning and all the things your wife does and blah blah

[00:41:10] This was just totally different from yeah and like so he just recently gone into football like he loves throwing a football You know and like American football. Yeah. Yeah, and like he's specify Finish talking about Europe Europe No, no and playing soccer

[00:41:26] So we actually brought a football with us. Okay to Slovakia. So it was a cool thing cuz like every time we went out So there's my how do they respond to that? Everybody thought it was the coolest fucking thing. Nobody could throw it. Yeah

[00:41:40] But not that I can throw it that well, you know, probably every 10th throw is like a decent one but It was just nice. Yeah, like he like so the apartment building is here and then right across from it

[00:41:53] It's the pub and in between there's a basically giant playground. That's magic So it's awesome Yeah I was hanging out in the afternoon with my buddies or whatever at the pub and just Jacob was just playing at the

[00:42:06] Like so I could see him and and then I would go like even my buddies would go and throw the ball a little bit You know, and it was just every time like even at my parents he'd be playing on the on his phone

[00:42:17] You know, and I was okay Jacob bring the ball. Let's go And then me him and my dad would go throw it around It was like a 10 minute thing but it was he enjoyed it my my dad enjoyed it I enjoyed it right and that's okay

[00:42:31] Go back to your thing and then come back again like it was a lot of lot of little things that added up to Like one. Yeah positive thing. That's awesome. So so he was he was absolutely absolutely amazing

[00:42:43] To travel with to to hang out with like like yeah, he went with the punches. I was like, okay We're doing this tomorrow. I was like, okay so we did that one big hike and You did a couple that were like a Bit of a thing. Yeah. Yeah

[00:43:01] yeah, like it was one hike was I went with my mom and my mom regretted coming because it's just it was just like So we went to see an old ruin and there's two ways to go around it or to the top you could take the

[00:43:15] The the main I guess hiking trail and then it takes you to the front of the the ruin and Then you have like 600 something steps to go up She absolutely gross. That's a lot But we went the other way

[00:43:31] So it's like you're going through the woods and then you kind of go up the hill and then you get to the top so it was also like quite difficult, but a little bit longer, but not going straight up and

[00:43:43] Then we had then we walked down those stairs and it's it was super cool beautiful. But yeah, my mom has like Spine problems. So an old lady. Yeah, so but you make her do that. She wanted to Okay

[00:43:56] Didn't force anybody I was like, I'm going whoever wants to come join us, you know feel free. We're good for and She's been wanting to do that hike. So that's why she joined us

[00:44:04] And we took our time and like it was just awesome like Jacob loved it. But then yeah Is this the one you told me about the other day So I have a story on this one too, so

[00:44:21] So obviously he was complaining going up the hill but once we're walking down he's like dad can I run can I run I'm like Dude, you're gonna fucking bail like you're gonna you're gonna hurt yourself like

[00:44:32] Maybe not then even my mom's like be careful Jacob, you know, also he still wants to do it It's like yeah, can I can I look look man two things you fall don't cry and you fall you break her glasses

[00:44:43] Yeah, big shit, you know, like you know, you won't be able to see those are two fair rules It's like okay, no problem. So he starts running and then there's like a little turn we're like, okay

[00:44:53] I didn't see him anymore. So I was like I yelled like Jacob, you know, and Then I didn't see anything but as soon as we get around the corner, I see him and he's like this like He's already like rubbing his elbow

[00:45:05] So like did you bail? He's like, yeah And then we get to the spot where you fell and this was inside the inside the forest Like there's like dust and like soil and like a little bit of like the like dead leaves and stuff

[00:45:19] Yeah, you could see like where he scraped it because at the end there was like a little pile But he was like a chap It's just dirt and then then I wiped it off with like a wet towel

[00:45:34] It's like totally scraped. He's like I'm just gonna tell people that I fought a coyote So that was his story the whole time please so funny Yeah, so so that was that was the first bigger hike that we did and then so then I got to

[00:45:50] Then my buddy flew in from England. I haven't seen him for Seven ish years eight years maybe something like that. Well, the English are the worst Well, he's Slovak but he lives in England. Yeah, why would he do that? Got a job and whatever. That's fine

[00:46:10] I'm not that Canadians are that much better. No, it's worse actually and I'm here But yeah, so I got to see him and like we I've talked to him before our trip and I was like

[00:46:22] Hey, I'm going to Slovakia. What are the chances like? Yeah, I will be there too as well. So perfect so we tried to plan all our hikes to to To do together. Oh nice and

[00:46:34] It was really nice. So the first the first full week that we were there Was oriented on family. We went to the hockey with my dad and Jacob to for one day

[00:46:44] So we got to see two hockey games and then we we traveled across Slovakia to see some family So that was really nice. We got to spend some time together with my parents and it was good

[00:46:53] so the second week was where I met with my buddy Snoopy and it was It was so good because hey, he kind of he went through a lot of depression in the past and he's probably the most

[00:47:10] He's the he's that he's one of my friends that I'm most open about my feelings. Okay from Slovakia Yeah, and so when I went through tough time I messaged him when he went through tough times

[00:47:21] He messages me we don't talk every day, but we I would say we try to talk once a week We've had times where we haven't talked like considering how far apart I mean, there's been times where we haven't talked for a couple months, right?

[00:47:34] We try to catch up and so he's kind of went through some Times yeah, and then and he started doing a little bit of like Meditation and kind of self Reinventing himself a little bit. So he's he's mentioned something and I don't know much about this

[00:47:55] But something like that his third eye opened. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so he's he's very much into like, you know enjoying the Earth enjoying the Sun the wind and everything. He's just simplifying it

[00:48:09] Yeah, and he's simplify everything like he tells me he looks into the Sun to get energy from yeah And then he walks, you know, sorry for sun their buttholes They I know do you know that I've heard that they actually like sun their buttholes

[00:48:22] they think it's like a a gate to the Darkest fuck ever it is but like people actually do that. They like they sun their junk I'm not I'm not Balls the whole part like I mean, I would hate to get a burn there, right?

[00:48:41] I'll over but that's a real thing. That's like it is so I understand like going back to Simplifying your life like yeah, and so on your fucking butthole bud like go for it So he worked a job in a factory and he quit that job because the

[00:48:57] Let him son is but in the break room And it was simply because the men the mentality of people was just not right for him Sure, and just the whole thing. He just needed to kind of you know get out of that situation, right?

[00:49:14] So he's like perfect coming to Slovakia. We're gonna do some hikes together so we went on our first hike and this is like a Giant valley in a hill that was split over millions of years by this one stream eventually. Okay, and

[00:49:29] So the stream is it starts on top of the hill and like you can literally like you drink you can drink that water like we filled our but water bottles and like even Jacob was like blown away how good that water was and

[00:49:41] It was it's just cold fresh So we went so you start off at the bottom you kind of walk in the valley and you go up the hill and then you have this lookout and

[00:49:58] Like when we were there like you see this magnificent fucking valley and cliffs and just beautiful I mean it sucks that there's also a factor right in the middle of the view But that's how we live. Yeah exactly how we live but

[00:50:12] So we we sat there for you know, five ten minutes I actually video chatted my wife and and daughter and like it was just nice to show them Video chat me I'll show you pictures And then and then so you can we have two options

[00:50:32] You can walk back down or you can walk on top of the hill all the way to the end of the valley And then you walk down this really steep walkway

[00:50:41] And like a high hiking trail and that's where I like so we got to the end of that hill and then Jacobs Just like I'm done. I'm like do you think no, yes You have two options here by yourself or like see that village

[00:50:58] Yeah, or keep going so he's like alright, so it was ten kilometers that we hiked it was a lot Yeah, that's no joke. No. Yeah, but he did it man And yeah, we got to the end and he found a bench. He just like crashed on the bench

[00:51:14] I'm not moving But like as a dad You were on this trip you were seeing your dad and your mom and Like a year ago. That was a lot of a challenge

[00:51:31] Yeah in those fronts and like as a dad taking your son on this trip this time like It sounds like it was great It sounds like you and him like had a bonding like bonding like bonding moment after bonding like yeah

[00:51:49] Do you feel how did you feel before and after? In regards to like the relationship with Jacob So before because I was really busy I Didn't do much with him, but I kept telling myself that and I know I'm busy right now

[00:52:09] But I know we're gonna have that time Yeah And I'm gonna make sure that I give him as much attention as I can like yeah all my attention Will go to him man. I make that fucking mistake every day Every fucking day I do that. Yeah Yeah, and

[00:52:27] Good for you. I'm so and that's what that's what helped me push through those busy times Knowing that we're going to have that that time together. You know I took him on this Very short hike just in my hometown just we went into the woods

[00:52:42] And I was like oh yeah, dude Like this is where we used to play hide-and-seek And this is where we would do like get together with buddies and like did he appreciate like he's old enough now

[00:52:52] Did you would get it like yeah, no he loved every moment of it like a real he was asking questions He was asking questions right and I was like yeah This is where we would like hang out make a fire

[00:53:02] And he's like oh how would like can you make fire anywhere? We're like yeah if as long as you bring rocks Yeah You know make sure it's safe and you know like you bring enough water to put it out and so good

[00:53:12] So we then we went to this old mine that was in my hometown That's like not existing anymore like as in like not like they torn down the building the mines on active

[00:53:22] Yeah, yeah, but it was so cool because you're movie it is totally because like you walk in here It's like you see these these like blasted walls, baby It's just cliffs right but like so I told him like this is what they were trying to mine here

[00:53:36] and you know like they started the mine because They thought there's enough of the minerals here But they stopped it because like in Slovakia actually you drive You see this beautiful hillside and then a giant hole in there

[00:53:47] Oh, okay, they try to mine the minerals mining for there's lots of calcium there copper and yeah, so like you'll see these random holes in the in the in the valleys and and hills and So like yeah, we saw that and I was like okay

[00:54:03] So we kind of came out of there and now we had two options We could go walk back down where we The way we came up or and this is on top of the hill and it's not like a giant

[00:54:13] hill but like you know, it takes a good 10 15 minutes to go up and Or we can walk on the field and then just kind of go around He's like yeah, let's just go on if he wanted to go around, you know

[00:54:26] So I was like showing him this and that then we found this old cave It wasn't even a cave But they just called it a rock gate because it's just the way the the rocks formed and everything

[00:54:38] Okay, and I was like fuck. I totally forgot about this like yeah, we used to like hang out here He's this is where I used to go and hide and smoke, you know cigarettes when I was 12 years old It's like here. You're about to have your first

[00:54:50] No, but like so I just showed him like this is what I did here This is what was here and like it was so like he took something from that

[00:54:58] He did because like I said, like he was he wanted to know more he would be asking me questions about like So why would you do it this way or why would you go here and super cool? Yeah, and

[00:55:08] He's just he was so into it. You could tell like Right that made me feel good because he's engaged. I was sharing my childhood with my son You know, yeah one it's hard to get them to engage now Cuz like half the time they it's fun

[00:55:24] Some youtuber or some fucking whatever that they want to talk about and it's like no this is yeah This is what I did and like I get it. It's not as important to them as to us fine

[00:55:34] But also like this is this matters like this is this does matter It does it does it was it was so good And like so I'm happy to hear that like he felt that

[00:55:46] Importance of like and wanted to explore that and wanted to like feel connected to you Yeah in that way cuz like Yours dad. Yeah, like yours fucking dad but he wanted to feel and

[00:55:58] Understand like where you came from and what you did and that's that's the part that that made me super happy that He wanna stops at a point and then like doesn't become piece of shit. Yeah No, but yeah

[00:56:11] He that was the the best thing about the whole thing is that I could see that he wanted to know he wanted He was curious Like he wants to know where you came from he idolizes Yeah, so that was so there was such a good awesome

[00:56:28] You know like if I like actually my kids brought this back from school But it's like you have a bucket and you fill it with good stuff and eventually that depletes right? Well, you need so you need to do good things or have a good thing So yeah

[00:56:42] You need to Just Exactly a hole in your goddamn bucket and so I just like my bucket filled up that week Yeah that week for sure. It was just so good. So happy for you like that This if you play this episode

[00:57:00] Versus the one from home like they're so Dramatically fucking different. Yeah, and like what a fucking beautiful Transition yeah, get where you are today and like how you experience that with your son and like I would challenge you the like

[00:57:18] Your next challenge is like do that with your daughter. Yeah. Yeah, and I think and I know your daughter And she's a lovely young woman. She actually said like Different like you're gonna have to change and adapt especially right now like she's now, you know

[00:57:35] 15 and it's this is gonna be really tough But our daughters are friends and so like I know Yeah, but I think with my daughter it will come a little bit later Yeah, and and we're definitely gonna have this this time for sure

[00:57:53] But it's just it's this fact of like all you did this time was be sincere Yeah, and it's just like this is what I want. This is what I want for me. This is what I want for my son

[00:58:03] It's what I want for my family and like everything worked out great It did and like the last time and we should actually go back and listen to that episode again, like it was different

[00:58:14] Well, but it's like this idea of like people pleasing and blah blah blah. You just let all that go this time I yeah, I did actually just like I'm here with Jacob Yeah, and we're here to have an Adventure of whatever the fuck that is Yeah

[00:58:29] And it was perfect and you know what helped me to also that I Was able to help my dad because he just had a surgery on his spine and It didn't go as well as good as they thought but he's also over 70. So he's old

[00:58:44] Yeah, but you know like we were able to go cut the grass for him with my brother. We fixed the The the fence, you know There was one other thing that we did. Oh, yeah

[00:58:55] We we chopped down like there was a giant branch that was kind of leaning over the cable Okay He wouldn't be able to do it by himself so I was so happy that I could actually

[00:59:10] We don't need to deal with that today, but no it was just nice to be there for that moment You know to help my dad and and I want to help our parents and he was appreciated

[00:59:20] My mom was saying oh, thank God that you guys were here and did it So it was nice bonding also with my brother because we did it together Yeah, so I mean you should have done it months before yeah

[00:59:29] Would have been awesome because I would have had three extra days also he's a cop so like you know, whatever but No, I'm I'm so like the part for me and all of this is just the difference between a year ago

[00:59:43] and now in how you approach it as a father and as like the man of your household and As a man, yeah, you took control of that. You change your circumstance. You changed it for your son and

[00:59:57] Therefore change the entire experience for your family and like I love you for that and I think that probably took a lot of Stress and a lot of strength and like another stress Strength for sure. Yes. Yeah, okay

[01:00:12] yeah, it was it was actually quite stress-free because I went into this that I am not Going to stress over things, you know good I said these are like I said, these are the things I want to do

[01:00:25] Yeah, if I don't get to do them all or they're not that's great But I want to get at least few things and I managed to get those few things and those few things were so good

[01:00:35] That it doesn't bother me that I get yeah didn't get to do all of it Well good for you man. Yeah, like I'm so proud of you as a dad and like taking your son and like I'm sure Over the weeks. I'll hear Jacob stories about this trip

[01:00:48] He's gonna have some hilarious Funny takes on the stories like Jacob's hot takes are my favorite. So like I'm super excited to hear I should record like Like you'll kind of let them slip out

[01:01:00] Yeah, but like I'm so proud of you and like to look at the difference between a year ago and now like You're you just you fucking dad at the shit. Yeah, I did

[01:01:12] I'm like I'm so proud of you for doing that proud of myself too that you should be and your son's better for it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah exactly I Knew what I want to do and I was one thing that I was worried about that

[01:01:26] I won't be able to get to where I am, but luckily I I'm super happy like just it's it's just the whole thing is like today is a shitty day It's okay. Yeah tomorrow is another day and let's move forward. Let's not worry about why today was shitty

[01:01:43] It's okay, yeah, I'm just gonna move forward and and just Tomorrow is another day and just enjoy they enjoy life to the fullest because like I've also received some some News from from a friend, you know, who's not doing so well

[01:01:59] Just before the trip, you know, my buddy Scott His own life Another friend of ours passed away from cancer. Like we don't know our days are numbered We don't know when it's happening. So actually, Kevin Smith said one thing I saw a reel from him and

[01:02:18] He was saying like, you know, like 10 20 years ago. I would tell you like what what's a shitty movie? Why why it's bad, right? And then he's like I wouldn't tell you that today because I'm not gonna dwell on this shit

[01:02:30] Why would I tell you what's shitty? Yeah, let's focus on the good things. Like that's let's focus on the now so much Beautiful truth and like I tend to live on the darker side of things Yeah, and like I still see the beauty in that. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely

[01:02:46] So so you did that like you changed in a year you change the entire dynamic of how you interact with your family and as a dad and As a son and I still have lots to learn and lots of improve on for like man

[01:03:02] I just I think you've just come such a long way and I'm so proud of you. Thank you. Thank you Yeah, and I think this is a good note to end and the episode on Again, thank you very much for tuning in

[01:03:14] Follow us on Instagram and Facebook quiet riot show send us an email the quiet riot show at gmail.com If you have any questions or if you have any stories that you want to share with us

[01:03:24] We haven't received anything lately. So fucking open up and send us an email, you know Yeah, knock it off yeah, or don't knock it off whatever that is and yeah, so this after this episode Will be a year and let's maybe we'll celebrate

[01:03:42] With another episode of just you and I reflecting on this year how I love it Where we were a year and yeah like where we were and where we are today and then yeah

[01:03:52] Just look, you know look for the next episode that when it comes up. Awesome. Cheers. Thanks buddy. Thank you Love you All quite right show episodes have been recorded and produced by suvermedia if you think you have an idea for a podcast

[01:04:08] But don't have the space or proper equipment, please visit suvermedia.com for more information We hope you enjoyed this episode And if you did, please hit the follow button and leave us a review if the platform you are listening on

[01:04:21] Allows you to do so subscribe to our YouTube channel the quiet riot show and follow us on the Instagram page at quiet riot show Please share this episode with others that may be interested in these topics

[01:04:32] If you know anyone that would enjoy these topics feel free to share our podcast with them Also, let us know what topics you'd like to see covered in future episodes

[01:04:42] Get in touch with us in the comments on our channel and social media or send us an email to quiet riot show at gmail.com