"Battle Through Toxicity and Trails" with Kyle Adair

[00:00:00] And the hardest part of that is too is you don't hear your kids. You're in a silent house and not hearing your kids running around.

[00:00:08] I mean it pisses me off sometimes, but yeah.

[00:00:10] It pisses you off when they're there, right?

[00:00:13] But honestly, it's a bigger pain for sure.

[00:00:15] It's the saddest thing. Like I literally locked the doors, stayed at my house, and I was in there for like a week.

[00:00:21] I didn't leave.

[00:00:22] And now I couldn't sleep in our room, you know what I mean?

[00:00:25] So now I'm taking the mattress that's left and I literally dried it to the living room.

[00:00:29] I couldn't sleep in that room, you know what I mean?

[00:00:31] I couldn't sleep down the hall where the kids' rooms were because that hurt me like a lot.

[00:00:56] Cheers Mr. Water.

[00:00:57] Hey, well yeah. Welcome back everybody.

[00:00:59] Thanks for tuning in again to the next episode.

[00:01:02] As you guys can see by myself here, my co-host is not here today.

[00:01:08] As our previous episode we talked about how busy we are and how shitty it can be.

[00:01:16] Oh yeah.

[00:01:18] But you know the show must go on and I have an upcoming trip.

[00:01:25] And so we have to do it today.

[00:01:26] We have to record and so I have to.

[00:01:27] What are you doing?

[00:01:28] I'm going to Montreal.

[00:01:29] But yeah, we have a guest today, Kyle there.

[00:01:32] A good friend of mine and ours I guess.

[00:01:36] Well, he's here.

[00:01:37] Well, you kind of friends with Tim as well.

[00:01:40] I guess, Quayton.

[00:01:43] He's a...

[00:01:45] You can tell him we're friends.

[00:01:46] So and you guys, when we had Brett on, Brett's key, he's our good friend and Kyle and Brett's key and I used to or do a podcast on the side too.

[00:01:58] And just kind of so we all know each other and welcome to the show.

[00:02:01] I know you listen religiously to this show.

[00:02:06] And I know you kind of asked me in the past like, what are you going to get me on the show?

[00:02:10] And then when I asked you, I think you were just like, oh shit.

[00:02:13] I was definitely hesitant for sure.

[00:02:15] But I think your story is worthy of the show to tell your story because I'm guaranteed there's lots of men that go through the same shit that you went through.

[00:02:25] And so it's I think it's important to share and I know you talk about it very...

[00:02:30] Is there another fly here?

[00:02:32] No, that's just a fluff, no?

[00:02:33] No, no, there's another one.

[00:02:35] We have a fruit fly problem here.

[00:02:38] Got it!

[00:02:39] Did you?

[00:02:41] He's probably dead.

[00:02:43] I don't know.

[00:02:44] So again we don't really take these things out.

[00:02:48] We're going to have a little bit of fun too.

[00:02:49] Alright.

[00:02:51] But yeah so your story is worthy of the show and telling your side of the story.

[00:02:58] Just your story actually.

[00:02:59] And there is always two sides to every story.

[00:03:01] Well there's a saying that there's three sides to the story.

[00:03:04] There's one side, the other side and then the truth.

[00:03:07] And I personally don't have any reason to hide or lie about anything.

[00:03:11] I think I was out in the water.

[00:03:13] Well exactly.

[00:03:14] And so we're going to talk about basically your relationship that went sideways a little bit.

[00:03:20] But you guys do have...

[00:03:21] Sideways is more of an upside down.

[00:03:24] You guys have children together.

[00:03:25] And sometimes couples do manage to co-parent very well.

[00:03:32] And sometimes the parents have different views on certain things.

[00:03:36] And I think that's where it becomes a big challenge.

[00:03:38] Oh for sure.

[00:03:39] When you're trying to do something good for your kids and the other side is not allowing advice first.

[00:03:43] So I think there's both ways.

[00:03:45] But you'll have the opportunity to tell your story.

[00:03:49] But before we do that let's just do the regular thing that we do every show to check in.

[00:03:54] Sounds good.

[00:03:55] Cheers.

[00:04:04] I'll go, I'll check in and then we'll get to you.

[00:04:08] Sounds good.

[00:04:08] So today I am a solid six.

[00:04:14] That's good.

[00:04:15] And it's been really really busy as I mentioned last episode.

[00:04:20] I've been sick so that kind of pushed me back my work that I was supposed to be done basically last weekend.

[00:04:26] And which is today, what's the date today?

[00:04:31] Because this will be released a little later.

[00:04:32] 16th I think?

[00:04:33] Yeah 18th today.

[00:04:34] So I was supposed to be done like three days ago.

[00:04:38] Unfortunately I'm about 75%, 80% done.

[00:04:43] So it's been a lot of go-go-go.

[00:04:46] Like I'm pulling basically almost 20 hour days.

[00:04:51] No I was there before I know that's the whole thought.

[00:04:53] So it's rough but things are getting done so I'm feeling better about it.

[00:04:59] You know I just had a good talk with my wife about it because while I was sick for two weeks she was doing everything.

[00:05:06] Like helping out with the kids.

[00:05:08] School just started right?

[00:05:10] And so like okay back to the routine.

[00:05:13] She's starting her school because she's a teacher and like September is usually fucking busy for her.

[00:05:19] Perfect timing.

[00:05:20] Yeah exactly.

[00:05:21] I'm feeling good.

[00:05:22] Yeah right.

[00:05:23] And so she's been amazing in helping us or doing everything.

[00:05:28] Not helping me because I don't think we help each other in a relationship.

[00:05:32] We should be you know splitting, we're splitting the housework right?

[00:05:35] And so now she's doing it all and so the other day I was editing something and I basically screwed up and lost about three hours of work.

[00:05:46] And it was partially I was being rushed by my family to go get the food ready and everything.

[00:05:54] And I really wanted to do it but it's just like shit I just gotta do this.

[00:06:00] Just one more minute, one more minute turning into another 10-15 minutes right?

[00:06:04] And then I was rushing so I hit the wrong button and just lost.

[00:06:08] I'm like fuck I went upstairs.

[00:06:09] What is with you?

[00:06:11] You always delete a show.

[00:06:13] It happens yeah it happened to me multiple times but I managed to get about 70% of what I lost back.

[00:06:22] So it was good that I was able to recover some of that shit.

[00:06:27] But yeah like that 10 minutes of me freaking out was brutal and so me and my wife had to sit down and just like okay look I need another week.

[00:06:38] And then I just need to fucking catch up on this shit and just do it.

[00:06:41] She understands?

[00:06:42] She does. She gets it. She understands and she's just like you know just tell me how much longer and if you need more time after that just give me a heads up.

[00:06:53] And I might not be happy about it but I understand what you need to do.

[00:07:00] But things are moving good so how about yourself? What number are you today?

[00:07:06] I would say...

[00:07:07] And this could be today, a week or a month whatever you want to do.

[00:07:10] But today it's been a good week so far.

[00:07:14] It's only Wednesday.

[00:07:17] But yeah I'd say I'm about a 7.

[00:07:20] Okay.

[00:07:20] 7 and a half.

[00:07:21] And what's your norm usually?

[00:07:22] My norm?

[00:07:24] Because like some people might be like okay a 5 is like a middle you know.

[00:07:27] Right now I've been hovering around that.

[00:07:29] Okay.

[00:07:30] With my new job.

[00:07:32] That's right.

[00:07:33] My last job I would have been you know 4 or 5.

[00:07:36] Okay.

[00:07:37] Every single day you know what I mean.

[00:07:38] I just dreaded going to work.

[00:07:40] And this job has landed on me and ever since then it's just been like...

[00:07:46] I've never said this but it's like I enjoy going to work.

[00:07:49] Okay.

[00:07:49] Yeah no and that's a good thing because like I always believe like being at work.

[00:07:54] Like that's your second family.

[00:07:55] Oh for sure.

[00:07:56] You spend at least 8 hours, minimum 8 hours.

[00:07:58] Yeah you spend more time with them than you do your family right?

[00:08:00] With these people yeah exactly like random people that you know work at the company

[00:08:03] or wherever it is.

[00:08:03] And you just have to be happy because if you're not going to be happy

[00:08:09] like think about it a third of your day is then shit.

[00:08:12] Right?

[00:08:13] So that's good.

[00:08:14] People aren't strict there.

[00:08:16] It's like just like do your job.

[00:08:19] Go home.

[00:08:19] Just get your shit done.

[00:08:21] Don't yeah as long as everything's done then it's good.

[00:08:23] No one's barking over your back.

[00:08:25] No one's trying to find you.

[00:08:26] You know what I mean?

[00:08:27] Like just it's the best job I've ever had in my life.

[00:08:30] Okay well that's good.

[00:08:32] Happy for you.

[00:08:32] And I sit in the loader all day now.

[00:08:35] Just lifting cars and moving around.

[00:08:37] So you're sitting around and yeah.

[00:08:39] Extra 20 minutes on each break you know.

[00:08:41] Nobody cares like it's perfect man.

[00:08:44] Welcome to unions.

[00:08:45] Yeah well I mean I was in union before.

[00:08:48] It was a great one.

[00:08:50] And like now it's great.

[00:08:52] I get almost every holiday off.

[00:08:54] Like I think I get every holiday off even like bull sides you know.

[00:08:59] Can we say that like you work for this city?

[00:09:01] Yeah.

[00:09:02] Yeah pretty much yeah.

[00:09:03] So I mean working for the city is pretty fucking good.

[00:09:06] Picking up cars with loaders man.

[00:09:08] Yeah well and the thing is it comes with a good pension.

[00:09:12] Yeah oh you know so benefits right like everything is kind of like pretty cushy.

[00:09:17] Oh man it's awesome.

[00:09:18] Yeah it's awesome.

[00:09:19] Awesome.

[00:09:20] I mean I hurt my back the other week but so that put me out for a week.

[00:09:23] Yeah.

[00:09:23] And can I say what I bought or what?

[00:09:25] Sure.

[00:09:27] So I bought a tent that Tens machine for my back.

[00:09:30] Oh yeah that's right.

[00:09:31] Yeah yeah yeah.

[00:09:31] And then I was laying in bed and I also bought up a day.

[00:09:36] That's right.

[00:09:37] Welcome to the club.

[00:09:39] And man I've never thought I'd say this but it was like the best thing I've ever bought.

[00:09:44] Streams got hit on the off side right now I gotta fix something but it's working.

[00:09:49] Well it's one of those things you also didn't spend a lot of money right.

[00:09:52] Like if you spend more money then you will get like a higher end one.

[00:09:56] Yeah yeah yeah.

[00:09:57] But again at the end of the day you get the job done.

[00:10:00] The best part about it is I submitted my receipts to WCB.

[00:10:03] Nice.

[00:10:04] And they took it.

[00:10:05] Nice.

[00:10:05] So I was like right on.

[00:10:06] I was like well you know the dates you know I'm gonna need a Kent twist.

[00:10:10] Yeah.

[00:10:11] Okay.

[00:10:14] She's like I don't need details I'm like I wasn't gonna get it.

[00:10:16] Perfect.

[00:10:18] That's beautiful yeah.

[00:10:20] Awesome.

[00:10:20] Well good.

[00:10:21] Glad to hear that things are going well for you.

[00:10:25] Okay well let's get into the dirt.

[00:10:28] Oh boy.

[00:10:30] Let's get into the nitty gritty of you.

[00:10:34] So you know I've known you now for a few years and like I've heard some stories about your

[00:10:41] relationship with your ex and it's pretty crazy.

[00:10:47] It can get pretty crazy.

[00:10:48] Yeah I mean I can't remember the other gentleman you had on here.

[00:10:52] I know he's part of the group I can't remember his name.

[00:10:55] Leo.

[00:10:55] Oh Leo.

[00:10:56] Yeah.

[00:10:57] Well yeah when I heard his story that holy shit.

[00:11:00] Like I mean you can say you love someone and it's just like there's a different person

[00:11:07] behind those eyes that have been screwing with you for a long time.

[00:11:10] Yeah.

[00:11:10] Yeah so.

[00:11:12] It's for real.

[00:11:13] I'll tell a little bit about you and then we'll get into the more details with your

[00:11:18] story.

[00:11:18] Sounds good.

[00:11:19] So yeah you've been with this woman for about 12 years right and then she just

[00:11:24] basically up and left one day.

[00:11:28] Yeah essentially yeah.

[00:11:29] And then I think you found out some more shit that what was going on really.

[00:11:32] There was stuff behind when she left yeah.

[00:11:36] But you guys have two children together.

[00:11:38] Two girls.

[00:11:38] Two girls and from what you've told me and what I've seen is that you know

[00:11:44] you're trying to do or I guess steer your kids one way and she's doing a full

[00:11:50] on 180 and going all over the place.

[00:11:53] And so you know I always say like with relationships you know shit happens in relationships

[00:12:01] and at the end of the day like if I was displayed maybe I was a piece of shit

[00:12:06] husband or whatever but like you want to take care of your kids.

[00:12:09] Oh of course.

[00:12:10] And so you can be a great dad and a shitty husband and that's okay you

[00:12:15] know but then once the couples go apart we should or the couple should be focused

[00:12:22] on the kids you know take your personal shit out of it.

[00:12:26] Exactly I don't care if she likes me.

[00:12:27] I mean I don't care if we get along.

[00:12:29] I mean I'd like to get along for the kids.

[00:12:31] That's right.

[00:12:33] But yeah so let's let's get into the big past like you guys

[00:12:38] been together things were good.

[00:12:40] So essentially we were together for 12 years and things started to go downhill

[00:12:48] and we bought a house over in Transcona together like I grew up so actually I

[00:12:53] grew up on the other side of the city and my whole life I grew up without a dad.

[00:12:57] Yeah right.

[00:12:58] So my dream was I need to be a dad and I need to be a good dad.

[00:13:03] Okay.

[00:13:04] I can't run away.

[00:13:05] So you didn't have this father figure.

[00:13:06] I didn't have a father figure.

[00:13:08] But you knew what you don't want to become.

[00:13:11] Exactly and you know I wanted to give my kids one day what I didn't have

[00:13:19] but I mean sometimes especially in this economy it's hard to give your kids

[00:13:23] anything really like everything so expensive now.

[00:13:27] But anyway so we had two kids and so my essentially my first born

[00:13:35] I was going down a rough path and she essentially being born finding out that

[00:13:43] she like my wife my ex was pregnant saved both of our lives you know at that point in time.

[00:13:50] Okay.

[00:13:50] And then so I mean she grew up she she was five we found out that Brianna was pregnant again.

[00:14:02] Yeah.

[00:14:03] So we had Hadley so Taryn and Hadley and then so pretty much at that point

[00:14:10] that's when our relationship started to dwindle and I found out.

[00:14:15] So there were there were signs already that shit was not there was all there were signs

[00:14:20] rainbows and unicorns and like I mean big signs.

[00:14:25] Okay.

[00:14:25] Like she I knew she cheated on me.

[00:14:28] Okay.

[00:14:29] Couple couple different times and it was all people that I knew and so there's at least three

[00:14:34] of those.

[00:14:35] Like did you find out from somebody?

[00:14:37] I found out from somebody else and then it was just like oh it won't happen again

[00:14:41] and me being the kind of person I am I still took her back.

[00:14:45] Yeah.

[00:14:46] You know what I mean because I wanted it to work.

[00:14:48] Anyway moving on we we moved all the way across the city got away from the people

[00:14:55] that were not the greatest people to be around.

[00:14:57] Toxic him.

[00:14:58] And we started a life over here in Transcona so we bought out.

[00:15:03] So for those the ones that are from outside Winnipeg is basically across this city.

[00:15:10] What 40 40 yeah 40 minutes away.

[00:15:12] Yeah.

[00:15:13] Not a big city but yeah like still like you're you're moving away from.

[00:15:17] Yeah.

[00:15:17] So I mean it's we drove we moved across the city and we got a house a nice house

[00:15:24] and we're in there for about two years and then things just started to go sour.

[00:15:30] And we're like okay we're gonna split up.

[00:15:34] We had to tell the kids which is the hardest thing to tell.

[00:15:38] I mean it was how old were your kids?

[00:15:41] So six and one.

[00:15:42] Six and one so the one year old.

[00:15:43] The one year old was never really understand it like I mean she gets it now she just

[00:15:47] she essentially knows that we've never been together.

[00:15:51] You know what I mean yeah my older one knows right.

[00:15:52] Well yeah because like a six year old it's like well why is mom and dad not together.

[00:15:57] So that was one of the hardest things to ever tell your kids.

[00:16:01] Yeah yeah try to explain it to a six year old.

[00:16:03] Yeah oh for sure like but then it was like okay so we're gonna give them the idea

[00:16:07] that's like you're gonna get two Christmases you know what I mean.

[00:16:11] You know what I mean.

[00:16:13] You're trying to cushion the fall.

[00:16:14] Yeah like I mean but I mean kids don't really care about that either right.

[00:16:18] And they're devastated that mom and dad are breaking up and there's gonna be two homes.

[00:16:23] Yeah so the six year old anyway not so much to one year old.

[00:16:26] Now the plan was is to sell the house and we got a realtor come in dates all his

[00:16:34] pictures does everything a realtor does.

[00:16:36] Yeah and then puts a sign on the yard and all of a sudden the sign's there

[00:16:40] for about a week or two and I come home from work and I was working to

[00:16:46] I was working extremely long hours.

[00:16:48] Okay.

[00:16:49] I didn't see my family during the week at all.

[00:16:52] Like I was no less than 15-16 hour days.

[00:16:55] What were you doing?

[00:16:56] I did concrete.

[00:16:57] Okay.

[00:16:58] And so I would be out of the house four hours before they even woke up.

[00:17:02] Yeah.

[00:17:03] In the morning and I wouldn't be back till probably five hours after my kids went to bed.

[00:17:07] Yeah.

[00:17:10] So anyway I come home one day and the four sale sign is gone.

[00:17:17] Like it was there and it's gone and I'm like what's no one's answering me right.

[00:17:24] And I also come home and was actually the debut about a week before that the

[00:17:31] four sale sign left.

[00:17:33] I came home and there was nothing left inside my house.

[00:17:39] No first the camper left the camper left and then I came home like a week later the

[00:17:47] I walked in the door and you know five people walked in the door behind me and another four

[00:17:52] people walked in the door behind me and it was all her family and friends like

[00:17:55] her just taking shit out loading boxes rifling everything into bags.

[00:17:59] Okay.

[00:18:00] And I didn't know what to do.

[00:18:03] You know what I mean?

[00:18:04] Like like so she just made a decision.

[00:18:08] She wasn't there with the kids.

[00:18:09] Oh okay and she made a decision on what she wants to have.

[00:18:12] Yeah yeah so she ran off to her mom and dad's place and then like her parents and

[00:18:17] her sisters and cousins would ever come over and it was like what is everyone doing.

[00:18:23] I'm watching not only her stuff going boxes but my stuff going boxes too.

[00:18:28] Okay.

[00:18:28] Even like personal items like stuff that like I had when I was giving to me when I was a baby.

[00:18:33] They were just instructed to just pack everything as much as they can.

[00:18:38] So obviously they're not leaving my house and I mean me owning that house is like okay

[00:18:45] somebody's gonna get hurt here.

[00:18:47] That's right yeah yeah yeah.

[00:18:48] And then I'm kind of you know have to think about it and it's like okay well

[00:18:53] if I do that well.

[00:18:56] Yeah she gets everything.

[00:18:57] Yeah yeah and this is gonna be horrible.

[00:19:00] So I called the cops and they told me the best thing to do is you need to just walk away

[00:19:05] and settle everything in court and I did that.

[00:19:08] Yeah.

[00:19:08] I laughed and getting anything back in court was ridiculous.

[00:19:12] It was like oh do you have her seats for this?

[00:19:14] I was like I got this when I was a baby.

[00:19:16] Yeah.

[00:19:16] Like what why would I have her seats for this?

[00:19:18] So it's really hard to prove that she ticks certain things.

[00:19:22] So I left and I came back later that night and it was just like walking into a house

[00:19:30] like a house you just bought.

[00:19:32] It's empty.

[00:19:33] Jesus.

[00:19:34] There's a bed left.

[00:19:35] There's like a pillow left and my clothes.

[00:19:38] And the hardest part of that is too is you don't hear your kids.

[00:19:45] Yeah.

[00:19:45] You're in a silent house and not hearing your kids run around.

[00:19:50] I mean it pisses me off sometimes but yeah.

[00:19:53] It pisses you off when they're there right?

[00:19:56] But honestly it's a bigger pain for sure.

[00:19:58] It's the saddest thing.

[00:19:59] Like I literally locked the doors, stayed at my house and I was in there for like a week.

[00:20:05] Yeah.

[00:20:06] I didn't leave.

[00:20:08] And now I couldn't sleep in our room.

[00:20:10] You know what I mean?

[00:20:11] Yeah.

[00:20:11] So now I'm taking the mattress that's left and I literally dried it to the living room.

[00:20:19] Yeah.

[00:20:19] Because I couldn't sleep in that room.

[00:20:20] You know what I mean?

[00:20:21] I couldn't sleep down the hall where the kids' rooms were.

[00:20:23] Yeah.

[00:20:23] Because that hurt me like a lot.

[00:20:26] Yeah, yeah.

[00:20:26] And so then I got nothing to sit on.

[00:20:31] I was sitting on a lawn chair in my living room staring at four walls.

[00:20:35] Okay so kind of fast forward a little bit now.

[00:20:41] Did you get some of that stuff back or what happened like with because like.

[00:20:46] Let's just say probably 75% of the stuff I still haven't gone back.

[00:20:53] Jesus.

[00:20:54] I got, well actually I only got back two things.

[00:20:56] Okay.

[00:20:57] The two things were like a little, it was like Mr. Sandman thing that my auntie bought

[00:21:02] me when I was a baby.

[00:21:03] Yeah.

[00:21:04] And my brother for being in his wedding gave all the people like that were in the wedding

[00:21:09] party at Louisville Slugger.

[00:21:11] Yeah.

[00:21:11] That's like initialed with our.

[00:21:13] Oh come on.

[00:21:14] Some special that means us right.

[00:21:17] And they're all personalized.

[00:21:19] When I got that back, I swear to God it's like they're hitting rocks in the backyard with

[00:21:23] it.

[00:21:23] Like it was a bat that was never used.

[00:21:27] It was kept safe.

[00:21:29] So yeah so basically like she sold the camper.

[00:21:34] She's like sold probably some of the.

[00:21:36] No boats.

[00:21:38] I don't know four or five days before the camper left the window was smashed.

[00:21:42] Okay.

[00:21:43] In the camper and I, you know I messaged her I'm like what's going on with the window?

[00:21:48] Did you know about this?

[00:21:50] She says no I didn't know.

[00:21:51] Well I had the keys in my truck.

[00:21:53] Yeah.

[00:21:54] So the window was smashed.

[00:21:56] So I you know went in there get a quick sweep of the glass.

[00:22:00] Yeah.

[00:22:00] Put a board in there taped it back into like a get it fixed.

[00:22:03] And my idea it was tough to get into that window.

[00:22:07] I couldn't imagine someone climbing through there.

[00:22:09] Oh.

[00:22:09] And they couldn't reach the door.

[00:22:10] Okay.

[00:22:10] Yeah.

[00:22:11] From there.

[00:22:12] So I fixed the window.

[00:22:15] There was it's not a big camper you know what I mean?

[00:22:17] It's quarter the size of yours.

[00:22:19] Yeah whatever.

[00:22:20] And 15, 20 feet.

[00:22:22] Yeah.

[00:22:23] And so I mean you know you're in there you sweep of the glass you don't see anything

[00:22:27] really missing much right?

[00:22:31] Then yeah it was a few days later after that the camper disappeared.

[00:22:35] And I'm like what happened to the camper?

[00:22:37] She's like I don't know.

[00:22:38] But I could tell she's like she didn't care.

[00:22:42] Yeah.

[00:22:42] Well I found out afterwards she broke the window took what she wanted out of the camper.

[00:22:50] She declared bankruptcy.

[00:22:52] So the camper got repossessed.

[00:22:55] Oh that's right.

[00:22:57] Okay.

[00:22:57] Now in all this time too when we had this house together she had her day job where

[00:23:05] she would you know work in front of a computer so it's like every payday I'd give

[00:23:09] her my portion of the bills and like my half of the house right?

[00:23:14] And I'd you know give her everything and she put the cell phone bills over here

[00:23:18] and she'd send all the money where it needs to go.

[00:23:20] And I was fine with that.

[00:23:23] Well when she declared bankruptcy she stopped paying all that stuff months

[00:23:29] before she declared bankruptcy.

[00:23:30] So she had so I found out afterwards.

[00:23:35] So all that money you were giving her.

[00:23:36] Was just going into some somewhere.

[00:23:38] In her pocket.

[00:23:39] A bag in the ground I don't know where.

[00:23:41] You know it probably wasn't in a bank right because they would see all that extra money

[00:23:46] and not wonder what's going on.

[00:23:48] So I when I came home finally when I came home and I noticed a foresail sign gone

[00:23:54] I called the realtors where's the foresail sign he said I can't tell you anything.

[00:23:57] Why can't you tell me?

[00:23:58] Like your name was on the house.

[00:24:00] Both of our names were on the house.

[00:24:02] Her name was on the camper right.

[00:24:04] I mean we went into it but her name was on it right.

[00:24:08] So he couldn't tell me anything.

[00:24:10] And I was like this doesn't make any sense.

[00:24:13] Like I hired you to sell this house and you can't tell me anything.

[00:24:18] And he goes well you got to talk to her trustee.

[00:24:21] And I was like what the fuck's the trustee.

[00:24:24] What are you talking about you know.

[00:24:26] And then I found out later on that she declared bankruptcy.

[00:24:29] So what happened was they now can't sell the house.

[00:24:36] Now the camper was repossessed.

[00:24:39] Taken away and everything was gone.

[00:24:43] And I had like $500 of the tools in there and all my stuff all gone.

[00:24:48] Yeah cause they just hooked it up into.

[00:24:51] I could care less about the campers my tools man.

[00:24:52] Yeah the tools probably were worse than the camper right.

[00:24:56] So then I later on this kind of dried down for a long time.

[00:25:02] I met somebody else like I mean I was just like staring at this girls house.

[00:25:08] And they drove by there and saw them went back and loading up more stuff.

[00:25:17] So later that night I went back you know what I mean.

[00:25:20] And when I went back that's when I went back and I literally locked myself in the house for like a week.

[00:25:27] Yeah didn't talk to anyone and my mom was living across the city and she was in an apartment.

[00:25:33] She's like she couldn't get a hold of me came and kicked the door down.

[00:25:37] And she's like I'm moving in because something you're not answering the phone.

[00:25:42] You're not talking to anyone no one knows where you are.

[00:25:45] Your truck's been here for a week.

[00:25:48] So my mom actually moved in for a bit.

[00:25:50] Did you like skip work and shit or?

[00:25:52] Oh yeah man I was in the darkest hole of my life.

[00:25:57] Like I said again it sucked that my partner is gone right.

[00:26:03] But the biggest thing that hurt me the most is the kids.

[00:26:06] And I can't contact them.

[00:26:08] She won't answer phone calls nothing.

[00:26:10] Okay so yeah we talked about your relationship now with your ex.

[00:26:15] And it was a very toxic towards the end and then it got even worse because she wouldn't let you talk to your kids.

[00:26:23] Now how long was it from the day you guys split up until you were actually now trying to figure out

[00:26:33] how are we gonna do this with the kids and with the divorce and everything.

[00:26:36] Was that like a year or two years or how long of a period?

[00:26:42] I didn't see my kids for about three months.

[00:26:46] Okay.

[00:26:49] They're just taking away.

[00:26:50] Yeah.

[00:26:52] And you couldn't do anything to go see them as in legally?

[00:26:57] No it wasn't legal it was her.

[00:27:00] But did you know where she was staying?

[00:27:03] I had an idea because I knew now that she's declared bankruptcy where are you gonna stay.

[00:27:11] This was your home you can't really just go get another home you know.

[00:27:16] So I had a good idea that she was staying with her mom right.

[00:27:22] And so I found out like I found out that she was staying with her mom.

[00:27:29] And then her parents were kind of all against me too.

[00:27:33] Like I mean again there's two sides to every story right.

[00:27:37] Yeah and they're believed or they protect their daughter or whatever.

[00:27:41] Of course right.

[00:27:42] Hey Tommy among all the episodes we've recorded you know there's one common theme

[00:27:47] and that's getting therapy.

[00:27:49] We've talked about it lots.

[00:27:52] Many many times yeah.

[00:27:53] You had a really tough time making that first phone call.

[00:27:56] I had a tough time making that first phone call.

[00:27:58] I didn't even know if the person I was gonna see was the right person but you gotta just try.

[00:28:04] Thank goodness we have a sponsor that makes it way easier now.

[00:28:08] BetterHelp has an online platform that allows you to fill out a questionnaire.

[00:28:13] They connect you with a therapist and you get to communicate with them however you want.

[00:28:17] So whether that's text messaging, that's emails, that's through their app, that's video chats.

[00:28:22] You get all those options and it makes it way less scary to be connected with someone.

[00:28:27] And if you're not into the person you talk to they'll sign you another one right away.

[00:28:32] I've gotten a signed minor ready and I can't wait to use it like by the time you hear this

[00:28:37] I will have had my first session and I'm super pumped to talk about it on the show.

[00:28:40] Yeah I'm very excited about it and like it's very easy to sign up.

[00:28:44] It took us maybe five minutes to sign up and you answer just simple questions.

[00:28:49] And next thing you know you got a message that you will be paired up with a therapist

[00:28:55] and within the same day we got the therapist already and the name and a message from them

[00:29:00] and we were able to communicate with them so it's extremely easy.

[00:29:04] So please go to betterhelp.com.

[00:29:07] Yeah that's the thing.

[00:29:08] BetterHelp.com slash Quiet Riot show and you get to also enjoy 10% off for your first month

[00:29:16] if you sign up using this link.

[00:29:19] So again right here I'm going to be doing it from here.

[00:29:22] Yeah it's betterhelp.com slash Quiet Riot show.

[00:29:29] Yeah sign up today and you're not going to regret it because I'm already enjoying

[00:29:34] it just the fact that we connected with the therapist.

[00:29:37] Me too man.

[00:29:38] Thank you to BetterHelp for supporting this podcast.

[00:29:41] So okay so you guys split up and then you said about three months roughly plus minus

[00:29:47] here and there a few months but so you got you found out where she was

[00:29:52] and then you went after your kids basically.

[00:29:57] Yeah I went and I got a lawyer.

[00:29:58] Okay.

[00:29:59] Which is not cheap.

[00:30:02] No no no it was actually a lawyer that my mom used for my brother's dad.

[00:30:09] Okay.

[00:30:10] Years ago for her divorce and he was great but he was also a lot younger then.

[00:30:15] Yeah yeah so old school lawyer.

[00:30:18] So he was an old school lawyer and he did everything.

[00:30:25] He got everything finalized I mean so we got I gave him all my information

[00:30:30] we now go to court.

[00:30:32] So and you guys weren't married right?

[00:30:35] No no call-in-law.

[00:30:36] So and I don't know what the legality is behind just but.

[00:30:41] Actually we were engaged.

[00:30:42] We were engaged twice two rings because she didn't like the first one.

[00:30:46] Oh my god.

[00:30:47] And then lost the second one.

[00:30:48] I'm not even gonna get because I think we could write at least four episodes about

[00:30:51] like engagement rings.

[00:30:54] Yeah but so where was I going with this now?

[00:30:59] Oh so you guys I don't know what the whether there is a difference if you're married

[00:31:05] and one of the couples claims bankruptcy or when you're a common law

[00:31:11] and one of them claims bankruptcy because I mean you guys own the house together

[00:31:15] just because she claims bankruptcy that doesn't mean that you cannot take care of the house right?

[00:31:21] So like I'm just like I don't know what's behind it but if I hear that okay

[00:31:26] my wife was claiming bankruptcy and like she was gonna leave me I'm like okay

[00:31:31] get the fuck out of my house if you figure your shit out and you have no right to take

[00:31:35] any of my stuff that's what I would be that's what I'm thinking right?

[00:31:38] So okay before the lawyers then and she left

[00:31:42] and now I gotta kind of pick up all the pieces.

[00:31:46] Letters start coming to the door you know in the mail and it's like oh hydro

[00:31:52] Hydro is like 3,000 behind property taxes or 6,000 behind

[00:31:59] mortgages in the rears by this much and I'm wondering how is this possible

[00:32:05] because I was giving you money I paid you you know what I mean

[00:32:09] and you put all the money where it needed to go

[00:32:11] Were you guys doing cash or it was

[00:32:13] It was all no e-transfer like we actually had a shared bank

[00:32:16] Like I had my account she had her account

[00:32:18] and then you had a shared bank because of the house

[00:32:21] to pay for the bills and everything right?

[00:32:24] So you put the money in there and then she took it out to go pay the bills

[00:32:28] and so when she declared bankruptcy she was taking that money for

[00:32:34] I don't know how long but I could only assume months

[00:32:37] just for how far in the rears everything was

[00:32:40] Jesus

[00:32:41] So I talked to hydro and essentially there was no catching up

[00:32:48] with what I made at the time which was good money

[00:32:51] but paying the mortgage

[00:32:53] and by ourselves like

[00:32:55] and paying the mortgage plus catching up on the mortgage

[00:32:58] and on hydro and all this other stuff

[00:33:01] on the debt you know

[00:33:01] all the debt that was left behind

[00:33:04] and it wasn't even just that it was weird because

[00:33:07] her student loans somehow even though we weren't married

[00:33:12] fell onto my shoulders because she declared bankruptcy

[00:33:15] and so I fought that

[00:33:17] I said like that's not really right because I mean

[00:33:19] we're not married yes we're common law

[00:33:22] but so that got wiped

[00:33:24] hydro ended up essentially doing me a big favor

[00:33:29] and they zeroed it out

[00:33:30] they zeroed it out and they said okay look

[00:33:33] you're gonna start from here

[00:33:35] that was probably $5,000

[00:33:37] oh yeah

[00:33:38] I don't have like the dollar amount

[00:33:41] but it was it was hefty

[00:33:43] the bank couldn't do anything

[00:33:45] like for the mortgage

[00:33:49] and now I'm in a house that's not being sold anymore

[00:33:52] because of what she's done

[00:33:56] so it took me a really long time to come to terms

[00:34:01] and in this meantime

[00:34:05] this is now months later

[00:34:07] and I'm still in the house

[00:34:08] like I'm paying the mortgage

[00:34:11] but I'm not catching up

[00:34:13] I'm just paying

[00:34:14] and you have no furniture

[00:34:15] well I've got no furniture except like

[00:34:19] my mom moved in right now

[00:34:21] and you know like so that was kind of a help

[00:34:25] helped me out quite a bit

[00:34:26] and then later on

[00:34:29] I met Michelle

[00:34:32] who's your current partner

[00:34:34] current fiancee yeah

[00:34:35] and that was the craziest thing

[00:34:39] because she met me in the hardest time of my life

[00:34:42] and I don't understand how she stuck around

[00:34:44] like she literally helped me through all this legal stuff

[00:34:48] we ask her that every day

[00:34:50] everybody asks

[00:34:52] why is she with me

[00:34:53] but she honestly was like an angel

[00:34:56] you know

[00:34:58] and in this time

[00:34:59] I also went and saw one of like

[00:35:01] someone like Rachel

[00:35:03] and it was weird

[00:35:05] they said to my mom

[00:35:07] your son is going to meet somebody

[00:35:09] with long brown hair

[00:35:11] in the healthcare field

[00:35:13] and what hot right

[00:35:14] okay

[00:35:15] and I was like yeah bullshit

[00:35:16] that would be amazing

[00:35:18] then I

[00:35:20] my buddies actually send me a message

[00:35:23] saying hey let's go to Lack the Bonnie

[00:35:25] I'm playing a gig out in Lack the Bonnie

[00:35:27] on this guy's dock

[00:35:29] and it's the biggest hillbilly thing ever

[00:35:30] yeah yeah

[00:35:31] of course

[00:35:35] yeah it's an inside joke

[00:35:37] yeah and

[00:35:39] so it was rock the dock

[00:35:41] and everyone's got their boats there listening to music

[00:35:43] I'm

[00:35:44] there's like I don't know half a million dollars

[00:35:46] boat sitting in the water

[00:35:49] I'm standing on the dock

[00:35:51] and upswims Michelle

[00:35:52] she's like hey how you doing

[00:35:54] I'm like not bad

[00:35:57] I'm just a bum

[00:35:58] standing on the side of the dock

[00:35:59] everyone else is in these nice boats

[00:36:02] and yeah that's where we started

[00:36:05] and I mean so she really helped me

[00:36:07] a lot

[00:36:08] and so yeah now we start fighting

[00:36:10] so this was

[00:36:11] how long was this when you met her

[00:36:14] after you were splitting up with your ex

[00:36:17] I'd say about a year and a half

[00:36:19] year and a half okay

[00:36:20] I thought it was just something to

[00:36:24] I didn't think it was going to grow to this

[00:36:25] okay so just want to backtrack a little

[00:36:27] so after about three months

[00:36:29] you were finally like when you guys split up

[00:36:31] you were able to see your kids

[00:36:32] because you found out where she is

[00:36:34] I found out where she is

[00:36:36] we took her to court

[00:36:37] and then so then

[00:36:39] or mediation I guess it is

[00:36:41] okay and

[00:36:42] is it cheaper

[00:36:45] mediation is

[00:36:46] but mediation is just like

[00:36:48] the first step

[00:36:48] like the lawyer suggests

[00:36:50] trying to figure it out without the court

[00:36:53] and so we did

[00:36:55] mediation

[00:36:57] and she said to the

[00:36:58] judge it's still a judge

[00:37:01] the judge says well what's

[00:37:02] your idea of

[00:37:05] splitting time with the kids with Kyle

[00:37:08] she goes well he can have

[00:37:09] weekends and he goes okay great

[00:37:12] and I'm like okay right on

[00:37:14] right

[00:37:15] and her idea of weekends

[00:37:18] blew the judges

[00:37:19] like mind

[00:37:22] because she goes uh

[00:37:23] he can pick the girls up Friday

[00:37:26] after school and drop them off

[00:37:28] Friday night pick them up Saturday

[00:37:30] morning drop them off Saturday night

[00:37:32] and pick them up Sunday morning

[00:37:34] and drop them off Sunday night

[00:37:35] and the judge looked at her he's like

[00:37:39] what are you

[00:37:40] so you thought right away okay she's crazy

[00:37:42] this something's wrong here

[00:37:44] and they're like well he doesn't have any

[00:37:46] criminal background he's never

[00:37:47] done any wrong to kids

[00:37:50] there's no reason

[00:37:52] he doesn't have any like drug habits

[00:37:54] or he's pretty straight

[00:37:57] he's pretty straight you know

[00:37:58] and uh so they said well we'll

[00:38:00] give we'll start him with weekends

[00:38:02] and what pissed me off a little that was

[00:38:05] I was

[00:38:06] I am the father

[00:38:07] of these kids you know

[00:38:09] what do you mean you'll start me with

[00:38:11] weekends you know I mean like

[00:38:13] so up to this certain point of

[00:38:15] six years old from my six and one

[00:38:19] I was with them all the time

[00:38:20] yeah

[00:38:21] and now you're gonna start me with

[00:38:23] weekends and it's interesting that the court was

[00:38:25] uh like favored

[00:38:27] in her and usually they do

[00:38:30] tend to favor in the mom's side

[00:38:32] but like she just

[00:38:34] claimed bankruptcy yeah

[00:38:35] yeah she clearly

[00:38:37] didn't pay the bills

[00:38:39] so it was very irresponsible

[00:38:42] and I'm not saying

[00:38:43] you're the most responsible guy but you had

[00:38:45] a full-time job

[00:38:46] and you went to work

[00:38:49] you came home you brought the money home

[00:38:51] you gave her half to pay for everything

[00:38:53] and like did that mean

[00:38:55] fuck all in court

[00:38:57] I guess

[00:38:59] so anyway

[00:39:01] this lawyer had everything kind of

[00:39:03] wrapped up in a bow

[00:39:05] as to how everything was gonna work

[00:39:06] I get them one night during the week for the evening

[00:39:08] for dinner and stuff and every second weekend

[00:39:11] so it's every second weekend

[00:39:12] it's every second weekend

[00:39:15] it was right from the start

[00:39:17] and I told like

[00:39:18] sorry that was now how many years ago

[00:39:21] oh god

[00:39:22] like your daughter is now sixteen right

[00:39:24] so yeah

[00:39:26] nine ten years ago

[00:39:27] and uh like I

[00:39:30] again I

[00:39:31] said well I want you know fifty fifty

[00:39:34] and he's like well no let's just start with

[00:39:36] every second weekend

[00:39:37] and I'm looking at my lawyer and he's like just take it

[00:39:40] like that's a godsend

[00:39:41] I'm like how is that a godsend

[00:39:43] yeah like this doesn't make any sense

[00:39:46] so now

[00:39:48] we

[00:39:49] this lawyer wrapped everything up

[00:39:52] okay

[00:39:54] I go home and I felt like I kind of

[00:39:56] like I want something

[00:39:57] you know I'm getting somewhere

[00:39:58] yeah it's step one

[00:40:01] it's step one but

[00:40:03] most cases it's

[00:40:04] you know ten steps forward

[00:40:07] twenty steps back

[00:40:08] and so

[00:40:10] I went home and everyone

[00:40:13] around me you know my current fiance

[00:40:15] my mom

[00:40:16] like my little support group

[00:40:18] they're like you can't stay here

[00:40:21] yeah

[00:40:22] like you are so far behind in the house

[00:40:26] yeah it's just eating you up

[00:40:28] you gotta leave the house

[00:40:30] like you'll never ever catch up

[00:40:33] so again now that was the hardest thing

[00:40:34] that I ever had to do

[00:40:35] so now I'm an idiot and I have to follow

[00:40:38] in her footsteps

[00:40:39] to get out of the house

[00:40:42] so I had to turn around and clean bankruptcy

[00:40:45] and um

[00:40:46] like all that's over with now

[00:40:47] which is good and things are getting better

[00:40:51] but uh

[00:40:52] that was the only way I would get out of the house

[00:40:54] otherwise I would be paying that house

[00:40:56] and I'd be paying all the rears

[00:40:58] so when you now again I don't know

[00:41:00] what happens but when you claim bankruptcy

[00:41:02] basically all your debt

[00:41:04] is gone

[00:41:06] all your debt is gone

[00:41:07] and then did so did they take the house

[00:41:10] and pay off whatever was owed

[00:41:12] and so what I had to do

[00:41:13] is I got a foreclose in the home

[00:41:15] so I gotta go to the bank and say here's the keys

[00:41:18] and sign

[00:41:20] the house away and that's you don't get anything

[00:41:23] well I got a little something

[00:41:24] yeah

[00:41:25] where I was working before

[00:41:27] some guy needed a dishwasher

[00:41:30] some guy needed a fridge and a washer and dryer

[00:41:32] I took all the main things out of the house

[00:41:35] I could

[00:41:35] and uh there's a sign on the door

[00:41:38] so you can't enter and I

[00:41:40] fuck you I'm entering

[00:41:42] whatever I sold off what I could

[00:41:44] well I mean just like the furniture and everything

[00:41:45] like she took uh

[00:41:47] she sold it or whatever

[00:41:49] I had nothing I didn't have

[00:41:51] you know any of the kids stuff and whatever

[00:41:53] so now I had to start

[00:41:55] fresh as a dad

[00:41:57] single dad

[00:41:58] and I'm gonna have the kids for weekends

[00:42:01] so it's like now I gotta go buy a bunch close

[00:42:04] for them now I gotta go

[00:42:05] get a bed for them now I gotta

[00:42:06] do everything right

[00:42:08] so this and this bankruptcy didn't really

[00:42:10] uh affected your

[00:42:13] court's order of seeing the kids

[00:42:15] no no no not at all

[00:42:17] um so anyway now back to

[00:42:19] the lawyer side of it

[00:42:21] he had everything wrapped up

[00:42:22] and he just needed her signature

[00:42:25] and he

[00:42:26] I sign it

[00:42:28] it's the finalized document he gives it to her lawyer

[00:42:32] her lawyer is not

[00:42:33] signing it

[00:42:33] sorry uh Brianna's not signing it

[00:42:37] and then I'm bugging my lawyer

[00:42:39] like every week every week

[00:42:40] hey like did you get it did you get it

[00:42:43] nothing nothing nothing right

[00:42:44] I gotta call him again it's like

[00:42:45] and that all costs money

[00:42:48] every time you talk to a lawyer

[00:42:50] it's gonna cost you money right

[00:42:52] and so I mean at this point in time

[00:42:53] I've given him all my information

[00:42:56] I've given him you know

[00:42:59] taxes

[00:43:00] paystubs the whole story

[00:43:02] everything and each time he looks at something like that

[00:43:05] you know you're looking at $300 an hour

[00:43:07] right they're

[00:43:09] not cheap and

[00:43:11] so then

[00:43:12] all of a sudden

[00:43:14] I get an email from him saying

[00:43:17] um

[00:43:18] I've done everything I can

[00:43:21] but unfortunately

[00:43:23] I need to resign

[00:43:25] like my position

[00:43:26] like not just as your lawyer

[00:43:28] but completely yeah

[00:43:30] so he had some sort of illness

[00:43:32] and he actually ended up passing away

[00:43:34] but he said he's gonna pass my

[00:43:37] thing

[00:43:38] onto the next guy

[00:43:40] and the next guy all he needs to do is get the signature

[00:43:44] and it sounds simple

[00:43:46] it sounds so simple

[00:43:48] right

[00:43:49] the next guy all of a sudden needs my paystubs

[00:43:52] all of a sudden needs my taxes

[00:43:54] all of a sudden needs this

[00:43:55] all of a sudden he charges you for it

[00:43:57] all of a sudden it's five grand

[00:43:59] he's doing the research again that was already done

[00:44:01] everything was done he just needs a signature

[00:44:04] and he so he that guy raked me

[00:44:06] for another five grand

[00:44:07] I'm already ten grand into it now

[00:44:09] and what do you do

[00:44:11] nothing I'm already half way there

[00:44:13] I think I'm at the end

[00:44:14] but I'm not

[00:44:16] and then he eventually came by

[00:44:19] and he said well I'm gonna be really busy

[00:44:21] this upcoming October

[00:44:24] I'm gonna pass your case onto somebody else

[00:44:26] I'm like you didn't do anything

[00:44:27] and I owed him five grand

[00:44:29] so I told the next guy

[00:44:31] I said this is enough

[00:44:33] I've gone through two the first one wasn't his fault

[00:44:35] you know I felt horrible for him

[00:44:38] for this guy

[00:44:39] and Ressa Sol he was a great lawyer

[00:44:43] so I got passed on to the third guy

[00:44:45] and I told the third guy I said listen

[00:44:48] you better not ask for it based on

[00:44:50] all you need is a signature

[00:44:54] and I said well you're at it

[00:44:55] I said I want fifty fifty with my girls

[00:44:58] you have everything

[00:45:00] everything that you need for me

[00:45:02] you have because these other two guys took it twice

[00:45:04] so you better have it

[00:45:07] and I said don't call me till it's all figured out

[00:45:10] and he goes well fifty fifty

[00:45:12] he realized that that's gonna cost you

[00:45:15] tens of thousands of dollars

[00:45:17] I'm like how

[00:45:18] he goes well we gotta talk to her

[00:45:21] and see if she's okay

[00:45:23] but I'm like why does it matter to her

[00:45:25] like she didn't sign the two the weekends

[00:45:27] she couldn't even sign the document

[00:45:29] why does it matter what she thinks

[00:45:32] you know I'm a father

[00:45:34] but this is court ordered

[00:45:36] so legally doesn't she legally have to sign it

[00:45:40] that's kind of what I thought

[00:45:42] but she didn't

[00:45:44] so she didn't sign it then

[00:45:46] and so I went through those three lawyers

[00:45:49] and this third lawyer realized

[00:45:52] that I'm not paying him a dime

[00:45:54] so right away he dropped me

[00:45:55] I'm like so now I'm left with

[00:46:00] documents

[00:46:01] and no signature on her end

[00:46:03] so really none of this means anything now

[00:46:07] so later on in life

[00:46:09] we actually

[00:46:12] got another lawyer involved

[00:46:14] this was some sort of cheap lawyer

[00:46:17] I don't know how we found her

[00:46:18] worked somebody else's case that we knew

[00:46:21] and she told me she was like

[00:46:23] what I'm gonna do is

[00:46:25] I'm not gonna do it because

[00:46:27] I'd be way too much

[00:46:29] I'm gonna pass it on to like our students

[00:46:31] in turn whatever she is

[00:46:33] young person

[00:46:34] so she took it

[00:46:36] and got her to sign it

[00:46:38] and I was like well write on

[00:46:40] so now I have a signed document

[00:46:41] so now I'm only stuck at the every second weekend

[00:46:45] and one night during the week

[00:46:46] that's like fucking nine years ago

[00:46:49] yeah like this

[00:46:50] and that there was only figured out

[00:46:53] maybe two years ago

[00:46:55] wow

[00:46:56] a while, a bit after we had met

[00:46:59] you know

[00:47:02] and so whatever

[00:47:03] I mean I've just kind of been trying to go with the flow

[00:47:06] because I can't afford

[00:47:09] like

[00:47:09] throw out another ten grand

[00:47:11] so now I want to touch on a little bit

[00:47:15] your relationship with your kids

[00:47:16] because obviously

[00:47:18] when you're living with your kids

[00:47:20] you have that relationship

[00:47:22] but when you're not

[00:47:23] now you gotta, at least I assume

[00:47:25] you have to work quite hard

[00:47:27] to maintain that relationship

[00:47:29] because you only see them once in a while

[00:47:31] so first off

[00:47:32] kids don't come with a manual

[00:47:34] you know what I mean?

[00:47:35] no they don't, they should

[00:47:39] how would you get that

[00:47:40] how can we make that happen

[00:47:42] that would be amazing

[00:47:43] so kids don't come with a manual

[00:47:46] and I didn't grow up with a dad

[00:47:47] so how am I supposed to figure out

[00:47:50] how to navigate this on my own now

[00:47:52] and

[00:47:55] I just

[00:47:58] did the best I could

[00:47:59] with what I had and

[00:48:01] you know

[00:48:02] so girls come to my house

[00:48:04] and dad has rules

[00:48:06] so I'm going to, you can't beat up your sister

[00:48:10] you know what I mean? you hit your sister

[00:48:11] you go to your room

[00:48:12] you gotta lay those rules

[00:48:16] and I didn't know what's happening on that side

[00:48:18] right

[00:48:19] so

[00:48:20] what would you think that

[00:48:22] you would think

[00:48:22] you would be going on the same path with the kids

[00:48:25] so everything was going really

[00:48:27] really good for a long time

[00:48:29] and I was seeing the kids on my weekends

[00:48:32] and then

[00:48:34] this one weekend

[00:48:35] the girls were getting mad at me

[00:48:38] because I gave them trouble for something

[00:48:40] and there was like the next time

[00:48:42] dare you dad

[00:48:42] the next time that they were supposed to come over

[00:48:45] they'd say they'd come over on a Thursday night

[00:48:48] Thursday

[00:48:49] I could almost

[00:48:50] it was like clockwork

[00:48:51] I knew I was like okay I'm going to get a call

[00:48:54] oh I'm sick I can't

[00:48:55] I'm not going to come over

[00:48:56] or oh I have an assignment

[00:48:59] that needs to whatever

[00:49:02] I gotta do this

[00:49:03] you can be sick here

[00:49:06] that's what I would say

[00:49:07] come over here and be sick

[00:49:08] you can lay in your bed

[00:49:12] so one time

[00:49:15] my older daughter comes over

[00:49:16] and we had a bit of an issue

[00:49:18] and she got in trouble

[00:49:20] and this was like puberty time

[00:49:22] uh no

[00:49:23] um

[00:49:26] yeah you know what it would be around that

[00:49:28] maybe start of it

[00:49:29] 9, 10 years old

[00:49:32] and uh

[00:49:36] no wait

[00:49:38] yeah you know what it would have been about 9

[00:49:40] 10 years old for sure

[00:49:43] because it was when Lannan my son

[00:49:45] with my fiance now

[00:49:46] was born

[00:49:48] so

[00:49:50] she got we got mad at each other

[00:49:53] and uh

[00:49:54] I was trying to get her ready for going out for Thanksgiving dinner

[00:49:58] Lannan sleeping

[00:49:59] and I'm trying to get

[00:50:00] Hallie to brush her teeth

[00:50:02] before we leave

[00:50:04] my older daughter goes you don't need to make her do that

[00:50:07] blah blah blah

[00:50:08] right

[00:50:09] and she's trying to protect her sister

[00:50:11] I'm like Hallie you need to brush it

[00:50:13] like now I'm getting mad

[00:50:15] taking the toothbrush

[00:50:15] I'm holding Hallie's head

[00:50:17] and I'm brushing her teeth

[00:50:21] because we're going to be late

[00:50:23] my son is sleeping

[00:50:24] having a nap before we go out for dinner

[00:50:28] my older daughter

[00:50:29] starts screaming at the top of her lungs

[00:50:31] I'm like hey stop stop stop

[00:50:32] you're going to wake your brother up

[00:50:34] and uh so finally

[00:50:37] I'm like go to your room

[00:50:38] you can't make me go to my room

[00:50:40] and I was like

[00:50:41] you watch me and you're going to your room

[00:50:44] so I shut the door and she's screaming

[00:50:46] she shared a wall with her brother

[00:50:47] so it was a big yelling

[00:50:50] match and now Lannan

[00:50:52] is waking up and here

[00:50:54] I am in her room

[00:50:55] and I'm like shut up

[00:50:57] you need to stop

[00:50:58] and I'm like I put my hand over her mouth

[00:51:02] not over her nose but

[00:51:03] you need to be quiet

[00:51:06] you're going to wake your brother up

[00:51:07] you know

[00:51:08] well she went home and told her mom

[00:51:11] like

[00:51:13] that I got on top of her

[00:51:15] my knees in her chest

[00:51:17] and I covered her mouth

[00:51:19] and I'm like

[00:51:21] do you realize

[00:51:22] if I were to do that your lungs would have collapsed

[00:51:25] like I'm not the lightest guy

[00:51:27] you know it doesn't make any sense

[00:51:29] so

[00:51:30] she went home

[00:51:32] and then it's just like she never returned

[00:51:34] and we always kind of had

[00:51:36] like this

[00:51:37] she kind of just left her life

[00:51:39] she wanted nothing to do with us

[00:51:41] all of a sudden she didn't like Michelle anymore

[00:51:42] she didn't like the rules at dad's place

[00:51:46] I've never beat my kids

[00:51:47] I've never hit my

[00:51:49] I'll be honest with you man I spanked my kids

[00:51:51] when they were younger

[00:51:53] spanking and beating your shit out of your kids is two different things

[00:51:56] it's two completely different things

[00:51:59] there's always food in the fridge

[00:52:00] for them to eat

[00:52:01] clothes to

[00:52:02] you know whatever

[00:52:04] and bed to sleep in

[00:52:07] you know and give them whatever I can

[00:52:08] and so she left

[00:52:12] and

[00:52:12] didn't want to have nothing to do with dad so she went back to mom's place

[00:52:15] and I started

[00:52:16] to figure out that mom's place didn't have rules

[00:52:20] so it was like

[00:52:21] whatever she did there would fly

[00:52:23] because now mom

[00:52:25] needs to be better than dad

[00:52:27] right

[00:52:28] so it's like a stupid game

[00:52:30] and your ex

[00:52:32] knew this

[00:52:33] my ex knew this

[00:52:35] so she was almost

[00:52:37] she was trying to get the kids

[00:52:40] to want to be there more

[00:52:42] right

[00:52:43] so that happened for a while

[00:52:46] me and my darve

[00:52:47] doing great like she comes over

[00:52:49] every once in a while

[00:52:50] but she's older now she's 15

[00:52:52] she goes to the movie with her friends

[00:52:55] and whatever

[00:52:57] but I still think of her as being like the 10 year old kid

[00:52:59] I'm like spend time with us

[00:53:00] I tell my daughter all the time

[00:53:03] like stop growing

[00:53:06] you're an asshole now

[00:53:08] you were so nice when you were little

[00:53:10] she's got this personality

[00:53:11] but I mean now

[00:53:14] fast forward to

[00:53:15] back to me and my ex

[00:53:20] my ex struggles

[00:53:21] with substance addictions

[00:53:23] and whatever

[00:53:25] now

[00:53:27] after me

[00:53:29] she started

[00:53:30] she's single for a really long time

[00:53:32] and it was just her and her sister

[00:53:34] and her sister decided

[00:53:37] you know they like their wine

[00:53:38] and their smokes whatever

[00:53:40] and her sister meant this guy that was like this

[00:53:43] big buff guy

[00:53:44] really healthy

[00:53:45] actually wrote himself like wrote a book

[00:53:48] he's a really good author

[00:53:50] now he's living a sober life

[00:53:52] so now

[00:53:53] her sister wants to live a sober life right

[00:53:55] so they live together

[00:53:56] and they're living this beautiful sober life

[00:53:59] well now my ex didn't have anyone to be with

[00:54:02] and

[00:54:04] so she went on to

[00:54:05] Tinder

[00:54:07] and met a couple guys one of them was named Kyle

[00:54:10] after me

[00:54:11] and actually I knew that guy from back

[00:54:13] where we used to live

[00:54:14] and I think that's kind of where things started to go bad

[00:54:17] because we left where we used to live behind

[00:54:19] right

[00:54:21] and so she met this guy

[00:54:22] now she started drinking

[00:54:24] again and you know

[00:54:26] all of a sudden she met another guy

[00:54:29] because the first one

[00:54:31] apparently we've all cheated on her

[00:54:33] yeah I am

[00:54:34] that's her out

[00:54:36] and I cheated on her apparently

[00:54:38] and this guy Kyle cheated on her whatever

[00:54:42] so

[00:54:42] so

[00:54:44] she

[00:54:47] she met this

[00:54:48] the latest guy

[00:54:52] named Dylan

[00:54:54] and

[00:54:56] my

[00:54:57] ex is 38

[00:54:59] and she met a guy that's 30 years old

[00:55:02] off Tinder

[00:55:04] which I mean for me it's a bit of a

[00:55:07] age gap

[00:55:08] whatever

[00:55:09] but it is what it is

[00:55:11] you know there's been bigger age gaps

[00:55:13] and

[00:55:15] she met this guy off Tinder

[00:55:17] and a month or two later she was pregnant

[00:55:21] okay

[00:55:22] and I mean

[00:55:24] I kind of laugh about a lot of things

[00:55:26] and I just sit back

[00:55:29] and laugh

[00:55:31] but I didn't realize how bad it's going to affect

[00:55:35] not only my kids' lives

[00:55:38] everyone around her's life

[00:55:40] and that's when it got really bad again

[00:55:43] so I mean all of a sudden

[00:55:44] she was coming home wasted

[00:55:47] and now my kids

[00:55:48] are

[00:55:49] in her care

[00:55:52] and now my older one is reaching out to me

[00:55:55] so I mean

[00:55:56] your older one

[00:55:58] reached out to you

[00:55:59] like the younger one is telling me everything that's happening

[00:56:02] right but my older one just couldn't

[00:56:04] hold it anymore and needed somebody to talk to you

[00:56:07] because they can't talk to her about it

[00:56:08] so I hate that

[00:56:10] she reached out to me

[00:56:12] and that's how we kind of rekindled

[00:56:14] but I always told

[00:56:17] like I'll always be her ears

[00:56:18] oh sure I mean and it's

[00:56:20] it sucks that that's the circumstance but that's

[00:56:23] that's a good win for you because

[00:56:24] it was a good win

[00:56:26] you're building up that relationship now with your daughter right

[00:56:28] so I was building up a relationship

[00:56:30] and then my I finally saw the bullshit

[00:56:32] yeah and then but but then my

[00:56:34] ex would go after my older daughter

[00:56:36] and knock her down a couple pegs

[00:56:39] and say dad just doing this to get your

[00:56:42] love or some

[00:56:43] stupid crap so then she would

[00:56:45] disappear my daughter would disappear again

[00:56:47] and then all of a sudden she'd start

[00:56:49] coming back right and then finally

[00:56:51] something would happen because something would happen

[00:56:53] and she like

[00:56:54] and I've been telling this story

[00:56:56] about my ex that she's a

[00:56:58] compulsive liar

[00:56:59] yeah

[00:57:01] for years

[00:57:03] okay and no one believed me

[00:57:05] her best friend didn't believe me

[00:57:07] her sister didn't believe me her parents didn't believe me

[00:57:09] right because they all believed her side of the story

[00:57:11] right who am I

[00:57:12] and

[00:57:15] so now she meets this guy

[00:57:16] and they're doing the thing

[00:57:20] and

[00:57:21] he's buying my kids stuff

[00:57:24] right whatever

[00:57:25] whatever yeah right spend your money

[00:57:27] but

[00:57:29] all of a sudden

[00:57:31] I get a call from

[00:57:33] I'm at the my and she was still

[00:57:35] pregnant your ex or yeah okay

[00:57:37] she's still pregnant with him right

[00:57:38] no no no at the time yeah

[00:57:41] like the baby wasn't born yet

[00:57:43] no I met my

[00:57:45] Michelle's parents place my in-laws

[00:57:47] and I get a call from my daughter

[00:57:50] actually first I get a picture

[00:57:51] and there's ketchup pouring

[00:57:53] down my daughter's head

[00:57:54] and I'm like what happened

[00:57:57] and this fool

[00:57:59] dumped ketchup on my daughter

[00:58:01] and dragged her across the floor

[00:58:03] and

[00:58:06] everything

[00:58:07] went through my mind

[00:58:09] like get the keys

[00:58:11] put your shoes on time to go

[00:58:13] beat the shit out of him

[00:58:14] I'm going to jail

[00:58:17] and that's exactly

[00:58:19] what I would have thought yeah

[00:58:21] and I'm on the way out the door

[00:58:23] and my father-in-law gets word of this

[00:58:26] pours me a drink

[00:58:28] stiff drink

[00:58:29] no mix puts it in my face

[00:58:33] and here's me

[00:58:35] okay sure this is perfect for me right now

[00:58:37] I need this

[00:58:38] and all those down right behind that one

[00:58:40] another one and I'm down on these drinks

[00:58:43] smart man smart man

[00:58:44] and he goes now you can't go anywhere

[00:58:47] because he knew

[00:58:48] son of a bitch

[00:58:50] he knew

[00:58:51] if I went there

[00:58:52] in the position that I'm in

[00:58:54] I'm going to fuck something up bad

[00:58:56] whether it's him or myself

[00:58:59] on the way

[00:59:00] and he knew that I'm not going to drink and drive

[00:59:05] especially at that extent

[00:59:08] and

[00:59:09] I talked to somebody that I know

[00:59:13] that's in the police department

[00:59:14] my brother's buddy

[00:59:16] and I said like man what do I do

[00:59:19] he goes you can't even so much a spit on him

[00:59:21] he said he'll

[00:59:22] he wants you to do this

[00:59:24] he did this because he wants

[00:59:26] you to come at him

[00:59:27] he wants to get you out of the picture

[00:59:31] he says the second you spit on him

[00:59:33] the second you just

[00:59:34] nudge him he's going to charge you with a salt

[00:59:37] and you're out of the picture now

[00:59:39] and what he said to me was

[00:59:42] if you're out of the picture

[00:59:44] what could it be to your kids

[00:59:45] and so I've always kind of kept that

[00:59:48] in the back of my head

[00:59:51] so I mean

[00:59:51] I've gotten everything from

[00:59:55] you can say whatever you want to me

[00:59:57] you can give me a death threat

[00:59:58] but then he starts saying to my kids

[01:00:02] and he's like

[01:00:03] I'm going to leave your dad dead in the streets

[01:00:05] and again I'm like alright

[01:00:08] let's do this guy up

[01:00:09] take a deep breath

[01:00:10] and then I got to think again take a deep breath

[01:00:12] back off

[01:00:13] but so anyway

[01:00:15] fast forward

[01:00:16] so clearly this guy's a piece of shit

[01:00:18] and your ex has bad taste

[01:00:21] in man clearly

[01:00:23] easy what you say

[01:00:24] she said that to a doctor the other week

[01:00:27] I looked at him like

[01:00:28] piece of shit

[01:00:30] but so anyway

[01:00:35] my younger daughter calls me one day

[01:00:37] and she goes dad

[01:00:41] Dylan just got arrested

[01:00:44] I wonder why

[01:00:45] and I'm like

[01:00:46] what happened

[01:00:48] I'm like great

[01:00:49] because I wanted to press charges on him

[01:00:52] and for whatever reason they just said there's not enough proof

[01:00:55] when he did this to my daughter

[01:00:58] well

[01:01:00] he got bad at my ex

[01:01:02] and choked her right up

[01:01:04] against the wall in front of my youngest one

[01:01:06] my

[01:01:08] 10 year old

[01:01:10] and so he got arrested

[01:01:11] so

[01:01:12] I picked my daughter up on a Thursday evening

[01:01:15] and she's crying in the truck

[01:01:16] because she liked this guy

[01:01:17] well that's right like you said he was buying them stuff

[01:01:22] that's why she liked this guy

[01:01:23] right but two weeks ago

[01:01:25] you were mad that he dragged you across the floor

[01:01:27] and don't catch up all over you

[01:01:28] and two weeks ago dad almost murdered somebody

[01:01:32] you know what I mean and now you like

[01:01:33] this guy but you're sad

[01:01:35] I think you're sad because

[01:01:37] the gift giver is

[01:01:39] leaving now right

[01:01:40] so he gets arrested

[01:01:42] I gotta give him kudos for something

[01:01:44] he called the cops on himself

[01:01:46] and the cops can't pick him up but in no contact order

[01:01:49] in place

[01:01:50] so then

[01:01:53] our justice system is not the greatest

[01:01:55] unfortunately

[01:01:56] okay

[01:01:58] I don't think any is but yeah

[01:02:00] this one's not very great

[01:02:03] if we were on the other side of the board it might be a little different

[01:02:05] yeah

[01:02:05] but

[01:02:07] I don't like you be wrong

[01:02:11] but he

[01:02:12] three days later

[01:02:13] he's let her to jail

[01:02:15] you assaulted somebody

[01:02:17] you choked a woman up against the wall

[01:02:18] you're a fool and you come back

[01:02:21] first of all you're a coward

[01:02:23] that's why I call him music coward

[01:02:24] you're a coward before doing that

[01:02:26] so he comes back

[01:02:29] and what does my ex do

[01:02:30] she lets him back into help

[01:02:32] right

[01:02:33] and so

[01:02:35] at this point they have the baby already

[01:02:38] yeah

[01:02:38] they got the baby now

[01:02:42] and she lets him back

[01:02:44] in the house

[01:02:44] and she gets mad at him and she calls the cops on him

[01:02:47] because he's not supposed to be there

[01:02:49] I'm like are you guys both idiots

[01:02:51] right so she's not very smart

[01:02:53] for letting him back he's not very smart

[01:02:55] for the things that he's doing

[01:02:57] especially don't do that in front of kids

[01:02:59] don't do it at all

[01:03:00] but definitely not in front of kids

[01:03:03] so

[01:03:04] this keeps happening

[01:03:05] she lets him back he gets arrested

[01:03:09] way he goes again right

[01:03:10] I find out about this no contact order

[01:03:13] and so

[01:03:15] I find out the kids would tell me

[01:03:17] he's here dad he's here

[01:03:19] they're too scared to call the cops

[01:03:20] I mean they shouldn't have to call the cops

[01:03:23] they should never be in that position

[01:03:24] and

[01:03:27] so

[01:03:27] dad would call the cops

[01:03:28] the cops would go there

[01:03:30] and now I got to the point where my ex would lie to the

[01:03:33] authorities

[01:03:34] the police

[01:03:35] the guy that has

[01:03:39] no contact order

[01:03:40] so I'm on the phone with my daughter

[01:03:43] and I'm also on the phone with the cop

[01:03:47] so whatever the cops head down there

[01:03:49] I'm still on the phone with my daughter

[01:03:50] the cops come to the door

[01:03:52] and they asked

[01:03:54] my ex who's on the house

[01:03:57] and

[01:03:58] she goes it's just me and the girls

[01:04:01] and thank god

[01:04:02] my daughter said she goes no mom you're lying

[01:04:04] Dalen's downstairs in your bedroom

[01:04:06] right now

[01:04:07] so the cops go downstairs

[01:04:09] and they bang on the door

[01:04:10] for like five minutes

[01:04:14] Dalen come out we know you're in there

[01:04:15] Dalen it's enough stop playing the game

[01:04:17] Dalen lets go finally they just go in

[01:04:19] and they get them

[01:04:21] guys like my size

[01:04:23] hiding under her bed

[01:04:26] how did you get under this bed

[01:04:27] I don't get it

[01:04:28] so anyway

[01:04:32] pretty much long story short

[01:04:33] it got worse

[01:04:35] cause he kept going back and I couldn't trust her

[01:04:38] for not allowing him to not come back

[01:04:40] not allowing him to come back

[01:04:41] I had to go get a protection order for my girls

[01:04:45] well thinking that might make the difference

[01:04:48] right because

[01:04:49] she would get the no contact order

[01:04:52] dropped cause they wanted to fix their relationship

[01:04:55] so I need to put in a law

[01:04:57] right so I put in a

[01:04:59] I go to court where successful

[01:05:02] do a protection order for my girls

[01:05:04] against him

[01:05:05] against him and

[01:05:07] yeah Teran my older one went down there with me

[01:05:09] and she said what she needed to say

[01:05:11] her story

[01:05:14] not me

[01:05:15] and I said what I needed to say

[01:05:17] and we got granted

[01:05:18] so he's not allowed in 200 meters

[01:05:20] of their home, school

[01:05:22] my home

[01:05:23] any of their homes

[01:05:26] places where the girls could be

[01:05:28] yeah so I just found out

[01:05:30] that my home actually falls under that

[01:05:32] so even if they're not there

[01:05:34] and he shows up

[01:05:36] you're technically breaching the order

[01:05:38] okay

[01:05:39] so the guy starts showing up at their house

[01:05:42] again

[01:05:44] so I get the cops call

[01:05:47] he's gone

[01:05:48] so then he's

[01:05:50] it starts small

[01:05:52] he broke an order

[01:05:53] or he broke a court order

[01:05:56] so he gets locked up for three days

[01:05:59] right

[01:06:00] that doesn't make sense to me

[01:06:02] so they feed him there

[01:06:04] they take care of him and they let him out again

[01:06:06] so then it happens again he gets locked up for a week

[01:06:09] because it happened again

[01:06:10] and it gets locked up for a week and a half

[01:06:12] and it's slowly climbing

[01:06:14] right

[01:06:15] so right now we're at about a month

[01:06:17] every time he gets locked up he's locked up for about a month

[01:06:20] and he went back

[01:06:21] and he beat the shit out of Max again

[01:06:23] so last mother's day

[01:06:26] I get a call from my daughter

[01:06:28] um

[01:06:30] he dragged her across the parking lot

[01:06:32] or something by her hair

[01:06:33] like there with grandma and grandpa

[01:06:35] he drags her across the parking lot

[01:06:36] pours beer all over her

[01:06:39] and all of a sudden I got a message from him

[01:06:41] on mother's day and I met my sister from law's place

[01:06:44] says you gotta do something with your ex

[01:06:47] like it's just a random number

[01:06:49] it's not

[01:06:51] he actually

[01:06:52] my younger daughter got an iPhone for Christmas

[01:06:56] it got taken away from her

[01:06:57] for her behavior

[01:06:59] okay but it's Christmas present

[01:07:01] you give it back eventually

[01:07:03] yeah like take it away for

[01:07:04] an evening or a month

[01:07:06] I don't care whatever

[01:07:08] but she took it away

[01:07:10] and she gave it to Dylan

[01:07:13] okay

[01:07:14] like so I have

[01:07:17] my daughter's

[01:07:18] full number in here

[01:07:19] I can't erase it because it says her daughter

[01:07:21] my daughter's name with two hearts

[01:07:23] I just can't bring myself to erase it

[01:07:25] even though I know it's not even hers anymore

[01:07:27] it's his number Jesus

[01:07:29] but I didn't get a text message from that number

[01:07:32] I got a text message from

[01:07:35] a random generated number

[01:07:37] so he generates these numbers

[01:07:38] and he called me at all hours of the night

[01:07:40] but he calls me on mother's day

[01:07:42] and says you gotta do something with your ex

[01:07:44] what do you mean

[01:07:46] no reply then he had the balls to message

[01:07:50] her parents

[01:07:51] say the same thing

[01:07:52] you gotta go help her

[01:07:54] so all of a sudden I'm racing back from East St. Paul

[01:07:56] her parents are racing all over Transcona

[01:07:58] and they find her

[01:07:59] she just has like a battered piece of shit

[01:08:02] she's beaten up

[01:08:03] and I don't get why

[01:08:05] I mean I don't know

[01:08:07] but why do women let these guys back

[01:08:10] in their lives

[01:08:12] and so

[01:08:13] then another highlight to the whole thing was

[01:08:17] after all that

[01:08:18] and he finally gets arrested again

[01:08:20] then when he gets out

[01:08:22] he goes back to her house

[01:08:24] and he doesn't have a license because he rolled his car

[01:08:27] a couple

[01:08:27] like maybe a year ago right

[01:08:30] well he borrows

[01:08:31] the girlfriends like because

[01:08:34] my ex is

[01:08:35] my ex doesn't have a vehicle

[01:08:37] so her parents gave her a truck

[01:08:39] a dog ramp

[01:08:40] a used piece of shit

[01:08:41] so he goes back to her house

[01:08:44] they get in the dog ramp

[01:08:46] lets him in again

[01:08:48] they hook up this piece of junk camper

[01:08:51] like one that you would see left out on the ice

[01:08:54] somewhere for ice fishing

[01:08:54] one of those hunkers

[01:08:57] they hook it up

[01:08:58] they pull it to the Walmart

[01:09:01] on Regent there

[01:09:03] guys living out of the Walmart

[01:09:05] camper

[01:09:06] but when they dropped it there

[01:09:08] they pulled back out onto Regent

[01:09:10] and the cops pulled them over

[01:09:12] he doesn't have a license

[01:09:14] so the truck got seized

[01:09:15] so her parents got a call

[01:09:16] just a mess

[01:09:18] just a snowball

[01:09:20] and it just keeps getting worse

[01:09:23] and finally now the camper

[01:09:24] has been removed from

[01:09:27] some towing company picked it up

[01:09:28] and whatever but he's been locked up

[01:09:30] and I just

[01:09:31] this year alone and this is sad to say

[01:09:34] but this year alone

[01:09:36] what are we

[01:09:37] midway through September

[01:09:39] I've had him arrested at least 10 times

[01:09:42] so okay

[01:09:44] so

[01:09:45] I think we could be talking about him

[01:09:48] and your ex

[01:09:50] clearly it's a very

[01:09:53] toxic relationship

[01:09:54] and

[01:09:55] it's clearly not good for your kids

[01:09:58] does this give you any

[01:09:59] legal power

[01:10:01] to take the girls

[01:10:03] for you know go to 5050

[01:10:06] or even full time because clearly

[01:10:07] like your ex as a mother

[01:10:09] can't make good decisions

[01:10:11] on her own and like your kids

[01:10:13] are suffering and you're suffering

[01:10:15] how do you do that

[01:10:16] how do you do that

[01:10:18] well I don't like

[01:10:19] you gotta get a lawyer

[01:10:22] and I've had three lawyers suck me dry

[01:10:25] two lawyers really suck me dry

[01:10:27] but then

[01:10:30] it's just like

[01:10:31] so right now like I'm paying for my house

[01:10:33] I'm paying

[01:10:34] so you're in a new relationship

[01:10:36] you have a third kid

[01:10:38] I have my stuff in my house that I gotta take care of

[01:10:41] I have

[01:10:42] you know vehicle payments

[01:10:44] I have

[01:10:45] child support I got all these bills

[01:10:48] yeah you're still paying child support for

[01:10:50] I'm still paying child support

[01:10:51] for your ex to make bad decisions

[01:10:53] my ex isn't even watching the kids at all

[01:10:56] like my

[01:10:57] the kids go from my house

[01:11:00] to the grandparents place

[01:11:01] and then on weekends they go to grandma's camper

[01:11:04] like on my ex's

[01:11:06] weekend they go to grandma's camper

[01:11:08] my ex stays in the city and this guy comes over

[01:11:10] right so do you even need

[01:11:12] a do you need a lawyer or can you

[01:11:14] actually go to the court saying like hey

[01:11:16] like kind of representing yourself

[01:11:18] saying like would your

[01:11:20] would your ex's parents

[01:11:22] actually

[01:11:24] side with you

[01:11:26] they sided me okay

[01:11:28] but

[01:11:30] like every once in a while it's like

[01:11:32] they're the problem too

[01:11:34] because they're enabling

[01:11:36] they're enabling like every time something happens

[01:11:39] they let her in

[01:11:40] she lies to them

[01:11:41] I have a co-worker who has

[01:11:44] two sons they're older one of them

[01:11:46] has some medical issues the other one is a

[01:11:49] stoner and he's kicked

[01:11:51] him out you know but then

[01:11:52] he always lets them in it's your kid right

[01:11:55] I mean here's the thing you're always gonna let your kids

[01:11:57] in whether they do you wrong

[01:11:59] or not you don't want to see your kids on this

[01:12:01] you don't want to see anyone on the streets

[01:12:02] you don't want to see your kids on the streets

[01:12:03] so I think that's what they're doing

[01:12:06] but like you know I mean I can

[01:12:08] I can just I can't see

[01:12:11] you possibly

[01:12:12] winning custody over your kids

[01:12:14] and not letting your kids see the grandparents

[01:12:16] right no right

[01:12:18] like I don't think that would be the case

[01:12:20] so even I've said to the grandparents

[01:12:22] to the her mom I said

[01:12:24] what I would like to do is pay you guys

[01:12:26] child support no yeah exactly

[01:12:28] right like I'm watching

[01:12:31] my girls on my time

[01:12:32] yeah and you're watching them

[01:12:34] on her time you're raising my kids

[01:12:36] I would rather pay you child support

[01:12:38] to pay her because all my money

[01:12:40] that's going to her is she goes out

[01:12:42] and gets a tattoo she goes out

[01:12:44] and she feeds this guy

[01:12:46] yeah I don't see my kids

[01:12:48] coming over new clothes

[01:12:49] I don't like and they're like well mother's

[01:12:52] spent time with me so

[01:12:54] I give her this money

[01:12:56] and then nothing

[01:12:58] ever gets done and but when I said

[01:13:00] to the mother-in-law about a month

[01:13:02] back I'd rather give you child support

[01:13:06] she goes

[01:13:08] no keep paying her child support

[01:13:10] like well why

[01:13:11] she said well she's on mat leave

[01:13:14] right now and that's the only thing that she's got

[01:13:16] to keep the house

[01:13:17] I'm like do you not understand

[01:13:20] like how much you're enabling

[01:13:22] everything yeah

[01:13:24] since I've split with my ex

[01:13:26] I've had three vehicles

[01:13:28] Ford Ranger

[01:13:29] the red Chevy that you know

[01:13:31] and this Boo truck

[01:13:32] okay

[01:13:34] since

[01:13:36] we split she's had 10 vehicles

[01:13:40] okay

[01:13:40] they're all Rector or Seized or

[01:13:42] this one came from mom this one came from dad

[01:13:45] this one came from an uncle

[01:13:46] this one came from her mom again

[01:13:48] literally they're just handing me down cars

[01:13:51] yeah

[01:13:52] and it's

[01:13:53] you guys let it happen then you go pay your insurance

[01:13:56] and then you took they took her car away

[01:13:59] Jesus

[01:13:59] they took her car away she took a bus for a week

[01:14:02] and then they give it back so what did

[01:14:04] she learn nothing you know

[01:14:06] so where are you today with the kids

[01:14:08] you know like your relationship with your kids

[01:14:10] is it is it because like

[01:14:12] you know it started out pretty

[01:14:14] today is great then it kind of went rough

[01:14:16] and now it's back to good

[01:14:17] today is great

[01:14:20] you know I talked to my kids

[01:14:24] if not

[01:14:24] every night every second okay

[01:14:26] you know before it was like

[01:14:28] I only got a text or phone calls

[01:14:30] phone calls to

[01:14:32] see other day was and stuff

[01:14:35] I didn't really have

[01:14:36] that before

[01:14:38] mom wouldn't let them talk

[01:14:40] to me yeah all that crap

[01:14:42] right so now that they're

[01:14:44] mostly been at grandma's house

[01:14:47] they have some

[01:14:48] somewhat rules to probably

[01:14:50] have rules you know and

[01:14:52] and but they can call you

[01:14:54] but they can call me I guess

[01:14:55] her parents are not really shitting on you

[01:14:58] no so that's the other

[01:15:00] thing is and

[01:15:02] Michelle told me and

[01:15:04] my mom told me years ago

[01:15:06] you gotta wait for Taren

[01:15:07] to come around she'll come around

[01:15:10] trust me and I could never see it happening

[01:15:12] eventually it did I know the worst circumstances

[01:15:14] but it did okay

[01:15:16] and then I was like why don't any of these

[01:15:18] people see these problems

[01:15:20] and they said don't worry

[01:15:22] one day they're gonna see these

[01:15:24] problems just like you did

[01:15:25] so now her parents

[01:15:28] have seen the problem

[01:15:30] exactly right

[01:15:32] I had I also

[01:15:34] got CFS involved

[01:15:36] and that was going

[01:15:38] good and then my

[01:15:39] ex-friend at the CFS lady

[01:15:42] so

[01:15:44] literally that kind of went

[01:15:45] right back down

[01:15:47] but I mean even her best friend

[01:15:49] that was down the street from her

[01:15:51] hated my guts man

[01:15:52] hated my guts even on that trans

[01:15:54] going on page would just stomp on me

[01:15:56] and then one day I said why don't you

[01:15:58] fucking ask my side of the story

[01:16:01] and don't do this shit on here

[01:16:03] message me

[01:16:04] don't air your dirty laundry on

[01:16:06] the face fucking you know

[01:16:08] and

[01:16:11] so

[01:16:12] and so yeah so she messaged

[01:16:14] me and all of a sudden she was

[01:16:16] she was I never realized this

[01:16:18] like I can see what you're saying now

[01:16:22] and

[01:16:22] now she's like my little detective

[01:16:25] okay so

[01:16:26] I mean she's your inside person

[01:16:28] yeah Dylan's there

[01:16:29] and she's the other night

[01:16:32] she's come over

[01:16:34] it's like 10 30 at night

[01:16:35] my family's leaving I'm like

[01:16:37] couple drinks and I'm like fuck

[01:16:39] I have to call the cops

[01:16:42] what

[01:16:42] my truck would be I was like fuck it

[01:16:45] get on my bike

[01:16:46] I biked all the way there man

[01:16:48] got him arrested he was locked up for a month

[01:16:51] and then he got out

[01:16:52] you know it's one of those things that

[01:16:56] I would never

[01:16:57] if we were to split with my wife

[01:16:59] I would never want anything bad

[01:17:01] happen to my wife right

[01:17:03] but if she decides to ruin her

[01:17:05] fucking life

[01:17:07] and get into this toxic relationship

[01:17:09] whatever leave my kids out of it

[01:17:11] you know

[01:17:13] and

[01:17:14] it sucks that

[01:17:17] I think for a dad

[01:17:19] it's so hard to

[01:17:21] prove that the mom is a piece of shit

[01:17:23] and I might be

[01:17:25] you know some people might call me biased

[01:17:27] but that's the reality

[01:17:29] you know

[01:17:31] if even

[01:17:33] if he comes to rape like

[01:17:34] a woman says a man raped me

[01:17:37] a man has to prove that he did it

[01:17:39] if you say the other way around

[01:17:41] they'll be like

[01:17:42] it really happened

[01:17:43] and that might be

[01:17:46] there might be the stigma that's been

[01:17:48] built up for years

[01:17:50] but at the end of the day

[01:17:53] I think if it was reversed where

[01:17:55] you got custody

[01:17:56] and she would get the second

[01:17:58] weekend and every Thursday

[01:18:00] and you started doing the shit that she's doing

[01:18:03] your kids would have been taken away

[01:18:06] probably a long time ago

[01:18:08] yeah

[01:18:09] and that's the shitty part about the justice system

[01:18:11] and how shit works

[01:18:13] well I asked CFS

[01:18:14] and I don't care what anyone really says

[01:18:17] if they think CFS is great or not

[01:18:21] I asked CFS

[01:18:23] what their objective here is

[01:18:25] and they said to keep the kids safe

[01:18:28] okay

[01:18:29] but they're clearly not

[01:18:30] well weren't

[01:18:31] they weren't

[01:18:32] they aren't

[01:18:33] well they're with your ex in law

[01:18:36] so they're somewhat

[01:18:38] safer than when they were living with

[01:18:40] your ex and the new

[01:18:42] partner

[01:18:42] I asked CFS what your plan is here

[01:18:45] and they said well we're gonna give her a random

[01:18:47] cause she's drinking driving with the kids

[01:18:49] with my younger one

[01:18:51] my older ones branched off away from her

[01:18:54] my older ones strictly there's a grandma and grandpa's house

[01:18:57] oh okay

[01:18:57] and then comes to my house every once in a while

[01:18:59] okay

[01:18:59] my younger one

[01:19:01] like they both love their little sister

[01:19:04] yeah

[01:19:06] it's her sister right

[01:19:07] but my older one has realized

[01:19:11] that

[01:19:13] she cannot help

[01:19:15] cause nothing is changing

[01:19:17] my younger one

[01:19:19] still wants to be part of mom's life

[01:19:21] and part of us think

[01:19:23] that she wants to watch over her sister

[01:19:25] she's also 10

[01:19:26] but she also wants to watch over her sister

[01:19:28] yeah absolutely

[01:19:30] and so

[01:19:31] yeah so anyway

[01:19:35] it's tough man

[01:19:37] it's the hardest part

[01:19:39] is watching my kids go through all this

[01:19:42] um

[01:19:43] no kid should have to go through any of this

[01:19:45] no so these are my messages from

[01:19:47] no these are notes

[01:19:48] um so I was told to take

[01:19:52] notes

[01:19:53] like as much information

[01:19:56] as I could anything that ever happens

[01:19:59] so

[01:19:59] I've got notes that are dating back to

[01:20:02] August 16th, 2022

[01:20:04] okay

[01:20:05] um

[01:20:08] and it's you know

[01:20:09] times, dates, pictures, this, that

[01:20:11] whatever happened right

[01:20:13] look how long it takes to scroll through this

[01:20:15] okay and I gave

[01:20:22] I gave up writing

[01:20:24] these are different notes I gave up writing

[01:20:26] on

[01:20:27] on January 14th, 2024

[01:20:30] yeah I haven't wrote anything since

[01:20:32] because nothing's

[01:20:33] nothing's happening, nothing's changing

[01:20:35] but you take this

[01:20:38] what I have here

[01:20:39] and I did it one day at my last job

[01:20:41] copy and paste everything

[01:20:43] put it into an audio and listen to it

[01:20:45] my headphones run I was sitting in a welding shop

[01:20:47] full of guys and I just started crying

[01:20:49] because

[01:20:51] some of the shit that's in there is

[01:20:54] it's tough

[01:20:54] I know it was my own words

[01:20:56] but I mean just to remember that

[01:20:58] and what happened that day

[01:21:01] my kids calling me crying

[01:21:03] you can't even understand them

[01:21:06] or they haven't eaten

[01:21:08] tonight

[01:21:08] and you're not there

[01:21:10] to be able to

[01:21:12] help them, hold them

[01:21:14] support them

[01:21:17] that's gotta be so fucking hard

[01:21:19] like I mean

[01:21:21] everyone has their good days and bad days

[01:21:23] I do have

[01:21:25] like I said earlier

[01:21:26] I'm like 7 or whatever

[01:21:29] I do have a lot of bad days

[01:21:31] where

[01:21:32] if something happened this week

[01:21:34] it would fuck

[01:21:37] my whole week

[01:21:38] because I'm constantly thinking about the kids' CMT

[01:21:41] for sure

[01:21:44] you'd be a piece of shit if you didn't

[01:21:45] no, yeah I guess

[01:21:47] and I don't know what I'm doing

[01:21:48] I'm just living one day at a time

[01:21:50] yeah, hoping that

[01:21:51] you don't have to deal with any bullshit tomorrow

[01:21:53] right and hopefully

[01:21:55] your kids are happy

[01:21:57] I talked to a cop today

[01:21:59] he called me

[01:22:02] because of the last arrest

[01:22:04] kinda gave me this scoop as to

[01:22:06] what happened

[01:22:07] as much as he could tell me

[01:22:11] very vague

[01:22:11] but he told me

[01:22:13] everything

[01:22:15] that this guy is doing

[01:22:18] won't ever get him any time

[01:22:20] in jail

[01:22:21] any real time

[01:22:23] it's all petty shit

[01:22:25] and I was like

[01:22:26] I had to stop him, I was like

[01:22:28] it's not really petty to me man

[01:22:30] the thing is

[01:22:32] it's petty to him

[01:22:33] but like your kids

[01:22:35] are suffering

[01:22:37] these things can scar them for life

[01:22:41] for sure

[01:22:41] and I can't believe that

[01:22:44] CFS has not fucking stepped in

[01:22:46] David's six month old kid together

[01:22:48] man he missed baby's first Christmas

[01:22:52] he's missed

[01:22:53] he's only been around for maybe about a month

[01:22:56] of that kid's life

[01:22:59] it's unbelievable

[01:23:00] but I hope things get better

[01:23:02] yeah well you know and that's what

[01:23:04] as dads like we can

[01:23:06] we can hope that

[01:23:08] our kids turn out

[01:23:10] okay in life right

[01:23:12] no matter what challenges

[01:23:13] happen to them or happens around them

[01:23:17] you know

[01:23:19] like I used to be

[01:23:20] a fucking

[01:23:21] I used to punch walls and shit

[01:23:23] I used to lose my shit so my daughter still

[01:23:25] this day if me and my wife start arguing

[01:23:28] she kinda just like

[01:23:30] ohhh like it's just gonna turn into a big fight

[01:23:32] but we haven't had a big fight for years now

[01:23:34] you guys are doing great man that's awesome

[01:23:36] and like we haven't had a big fight

[01:23:37] I would say

[01:23:38] like last time I lost my shit

[01:23:41] was right when I was going through depression

[01:23:43] so five years ago

[01:23:44] just before covid

[01:23:46] during covid

[01:23:47] but since then there was no

[01:23:50] we had big fights but like not

[01:23:52] where I was punching walls

[01:23:54] and I never touched my wife

[01:23:56] never hit her

[01:23:57] but like I would punch walls

[01:24:00] and now I fucking have to fix the drywall

[01:24:02] and who feels like an idiot at the end of the day

[01:24:04] me 100%

[01:24:06] and yeah and like so I'm glad that

[01:24:07] I've changed that

[01:24:10] and I'm working on very hard when we

[01:24:12] get it when shit gets heated

[01:24:13] I walk away right and just

[01:24:15] kinda do my own thing

[01:24:16] but that affected my daughter

[01:24:19] so things that we do in our lives

[01:24:21] it affects our kids

[01:24:23] of course

[01:24:24] yeah exactly so we have to

[01:24:28] do better everyday

[01:24:29] to make sure that we don't

[01:24:31] we steer them the right direction

[01:24:33] and you know I hope that

[01:24:35] my kids turn out a little bit better than I

[01:24:38] I was

[01:24:40] they're way better

[01:24:42] but

[01:24:42] they're doing great already so

[01:24:44] but I'm happy to hear that

[01:24:47] your kids are

[01:24:49] doing better and alright

[01:24:50] like that your relationship kinda got restored

[01:24:53] I think it's more of a coping

[01:24:55] with them they're just going with it

[01:24:57] yeah waiting to see what happens

[01:24:59] but you mentioned your relationship

[01:25:01] has kinda restored so that's

[01:25:03] great you know and hoping that

[01:25:05] that continues to grow right

[01:25:06] and even just for the sake

[01:25:09] of that little baby that they have together

[01:25:11] like just coming over

[01:25:12] we hope for that for her too

[01:25:13] I would take her if I couldn't heartbeat

[01:25:16] and it's still your daughter's

[01:25:19] sister yeah so

[01:25:21] but I would like to

[01:25:23] thank you for

[01:25:25] coming to the show and sharing

[01:25:26] your crazy story

[01:25:29] because like I know we've talked

[01:25:31] about this and again like I said

[01:25:33] mentioned at the beginning of the show

[01:25:35] that it's worthy of

[01:25:36] sharing on here because I'm sure

[01:25:39] you know maybe not

[01:25:41] exact same story but I'm sure there's guys

[01:25:43] out there that went through

[01:25:44] I just don't know how to sum it up

[01:25:47] all the other guests you've had they just

[01:25:49] they sum it up so nice

[01:25:50] well I'll re-listen

[01:25:52] to this and see how messy it is

[01:25:54] my dog going it's probably still

[01:25:56] it kind of jumps back and forth

[01:25:58] we jumped back and forth a little bit

[01:26:00] but that's okay at the end of the day

[01:26:02] I think it probably feels good

[01:26:04] I hope it feels good for you to share with

[01:26:07] and we've had conversations

[01:26:08] about this shit and it's stuff like

[01:26:10] I mean I

[01:26:12] don't know what you're going through

[01:26:13] other than from your side of the story

[01:26:16] or from your stories that you've told me

[01:26:18] and it's a shitty you know I wouldn't

[01:26:20] want to be there right so

[01:26:23] so

[01:26:24] as a thank you

[01:26:25] I know you'd be waiting for a mug like this

[01:26:28] I already stole one

[01:26:29] well this is you can officially now

[01:26:31] take it home

[01:26:37] that's where all the fruit flies have been

[01:26:40] we got one of the

[01:26:41] new stickers as well for you

[01:26:42] nice man I got one of these two

[01:26:43] we'll have another one yeah

[01:26:46] we're just doing this for the show just accept it

[01:26:48] I love it

[01:26:50] maybe I'll give it to Brianna

[01:26:52] that's right yeah

[01:26:52] but thank you very much again for joining

[01:26:56] joining me and

[01:26:57] helping me out a little bit because

[01:26:59] my co-host is going to be here today so

[01:27:01] screw that guy

[01:27:05] I'll give you guys

[01:27:06] credit honestly

[01:27:07] you guys are doing a great show

[01:27:09] the two of you

[01:27:11] we all rag on each other

[01:27:14] oh we do all the time

[01:27:15] outside of the show right

[01:27:16] well like we mentioned it on the show

[01:27:18] we're not making fun of you

[01:27:20] we're not friends

[01:27:20] but honestly like your first

[01:27:23] the first two shows

[01:27:26] that you guys made I messaged you right away

[01:27:28] like I was so excited to hear

[01:27:29] how crappy is this podcast

[01:27:32] oh wow

[01:27:33] I can't wait

[01:27:36] I listened to your side

[01:27:38] I think you were first

[01:27:39] I think Tim was first and then me

[01:27:41] whatever

[01:27:42] I was like holy shit

[01:27:44] like I mean

[01:27:47] fucking asshole didn't tell me any of this stuff

[01:27:49] but

[01:27:51] you know and

[01:27:52] you guys have done great

[01:27:54] well and like that was the whole point

[01:27:56] we can't ask guests to come on our show

[01:27:59] and be vulnerable if we're not going to be

[01:28:00] vulnerable ourselves right

[01:28:01] so it's and that's why I didn't know that

[01:28:04] stuff about you and I didn't know that stuff about him

[01:28:06] like what you guys were struggling with

[01:28:08] and you guys are doing great

[01:28:10] yeah and so it's

[01:28:11] it's uh we were trying to

[01:28:13] break the silence right

[01:28:16] every episode

[01:28:17] or one episode at a time

[01:28:18] as we try to keep you on this sticker

[01:28:21] it's a new slogan that we're trying to go with

[01:28:23] yeah you guys are going to change this

[01:28:25] this is wicked

[01:28:27] breaking the silence one episode at a time

[01:28:30] I don't know if I

[01:28:31] if I read the last sticker or not

[01:28:35] same thing well I know that

[01:28:38] probably didn't read it

[01:28:39] it's right in your wallet too

[01:28:41] you're supposed to stick it on something

[01:28:43] I'm waiting to put it on my truck

[01:28:44] there you go wonderful

[01:28:47] but yeah so for the listeners I hope you guys

[01:28:49] enjoy this messy show

[01:28:52] but

[01:28:52] I hope you guys can relate to it and if

[01:28:55] there is a similar story that one of you

[01:28:57] guys have let us know

[01:28:59] just or let us know what you thought

[01:29:01] of it you can follow us on

[01:29:03] Instagram, TikTok

[01:29:05] Facebook as well it's at

[01:29:07] Quiet Riot show and

[01:29:09] check out our YouTube channel too

[01:29:11] and yeah

[01:29:12] feel free to rate the show if you like it

[01:29:15] every star

[01:29:17] is appreciated and

[01:29:18] again Kyle thanks for joining us

[01:29:21] thanks for having me man it feels great

[01:29:23] to talk about it I tell as many people

[01:29:24] wanna listen but

[01:29:26] alright cheers thanks man appreciate ya

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