"Work Life Balance" With Brett and Tommy

[00:00:00] And I think that's another thing you can probably touch on with this subject is like traditionally

[00:00:04] work-life balance is something that men have had to deal with but in today's world it's

[00:00:10] not just men because the way the economy has gone there's no such thing as like the

[00:00:14] one income household anymore virtually right?

[00:00:17] So like and that makes that balance that much tougher because it's not just your work-life

[00:00:23] balance that you need to match up it's hers as well.

[00:00:41] Alright everybody welcome back to another episode of Quiet Riot Show and we are doing

[00:00:50] a little bit different to something different today we were supposed to have a guest today

[00:00:55] on but we had to cancel because unfortunately Tim had a passing in the family so he's

[00:01:03] not here today and our thoughts and prayers go to his family but the show must go on

[00:01:11] and I figured what would be better to get on this show than our good friend of the show

[00:01:20] and he was a guest on our show as well in the past talked about some of his shit that

[00:01:26] he went through so Brett's key he's back again welcome back thank you for joining

[00:01:33] I can't believe he thought this was a good idea.

[00:01:37] We're going to have some fun and we were going to discuss some things about men's health

[00:01:44] that we go through every day and you and I had lots of conversations when we did our other

[00:01:50] podcast together or just had a few drinks over even on our chats.

[00:01:55] Just a few.

[00:01:56] Yeah just a few yeah exactly we went through our fair shares of struggles and so it's

[00:02:01] why not to have have you on the show and just going to have a discussion about it so

[00:02:07] but before we do that why don't we check in?

[00:02:09] Let's do it.

[00:02:18] What number are you today Bratsky?

[00:02:20] You know let's go with the solid eight.

[00:02:24] Wow yeah that's very positive that's good.

[00:02:28] I'm flying pretty high right now you know it's it's been decently you know the weather's

[00:02:34] turning around that's a good starter always.

[00:02:36] Yeah yeah yeah can actually feel good going outside not feel like you're just trying

[00:02:42] to not die.

[00:02:44] Yeah well and this winter has been quite mild.

[00:02:48] It hasn't been crazy so it's been a BC winter.

[00:02:51] Did I ever tell you I used to live in BC many many times.

[00:02:57] This relation to probably what we're going to talk about busy season at work is finishing

[00:03:02] up right now.

[00:03:03] So you know a lot of my stressful season should now be over for a couple months so I get

[00:03:12] that breather.

[00:03:13] You know the nice weather and just yeah just overall not dealing with as much of the

[00:03:20] stress as I usually am.

[00:03:24] Cool.

[00:03:25] That's good.

[00:03:26] Great.

[00:03:27] That's a really really high number like for the show at least because most of us have

[00:03:33] been six and sevens and that's often where I have that's often where I have it's yeah

[00:03:40] awesome nice little turnaround for the time being cool.

[00:03:43] I think I gave myself a really high rating last time I was here too for some reason or

[00:03:47] another so and that's okay like because how you feel.

[00:03:51] I just started seeing one of my my steps on again we had started kind of reconnecting

[00:03:57] last time so that's pretty cool.

[00:03:58] So yeah so I'm you tend to catch me on the upswings here.

[00:04:02] Good thing you catch me on one of those downswings it'd be a really miserable show.

[00:04:07] I mean I think that would be great show for our listeners as well.

[00:04:10] Yeah we'll do it one of these days.

[00:04:11] Maybe for our ratings too.

[00:04:13] Come get me crying some more.

[00:04:15] Man oh eight is a good number.

[00:04:18] I am actually quite low.

[00:04:22] This this the last so this is the most recent show for us and the last three weeks I've

[00:04:30] been dealing with a pinch sciatic nerve and so I can't can't really do my regular chores

[00:04:36] like I had to we got that dump of snow last week and and I was just like struggling.

[00:04:44] And in morning I woke up and I'm like oh shit all the snow got blown into my garage

[00:04:48] right and then so I quickly just shoveled to pass like I was in so much pain for the rest

[00:04:54] of the day and then finally took out the snowblower but it was just hard for me to do that

[00:04:58] so it's just it's just been a lot of like pain and suffering for me.

[00:05:05] It's getting better but also I'm super lazy and don't do my exercises and I should be

[00:05:10] doing it because I come home and I just want to sit down like lazy boy has been my best

[00:05:15] friend for the last three weeks because I don't even need a pinch nerve to have that

[00:05:19] too man.

[00:05:20] Like I don't know what you're feeling so bad about.

[00:05:22] Yeah yeah well I have I have a wife and kids that you know require my attention and

[00:05:27] that's just been tough so yeah but it is what it is I'm I'm I'm like solid five six

[00:05:36] between somewhere there but anyways that's enough of our check in let's let's move on.

[00:05:42] Hopefully we'll make you feel better by the end of the show.

[00:05:44] Yeah today we will we will talk about a topic that I think many many men struggle as far

[00:05:56] as I heard from friends and other men at my workplace is the work life balance because

[00:06:05] we you know going to work it's we have we it's something we have to do whether you go

[00:06:11] to actual factory or to an office or you work from home it's something that we need to

[00:06:16] do in order for us to provide for ourselves food.

[00:06:21] Roof over our head all the fun things that we want to be doing right and lately and this

[00:06:28] is kind of post COVID that I've been hearing that all were just so busy we're just so

[00:06:33] busy I don't have time for this I don't have time for that and it's like people are finding

[00:06:39] really tough time to actually balance shit out they really got used to not having anything

[00:06:45] but work to right exactly and and then you know myself too like if I if I look at my calendar

[00:06:53] right now I don't have a free day in a week see the trick to that is just don't own

[00:07:00] the calendar problem solved I'm here all week oh shit we didn't do the not a doctor statement

[00:07:07] at the beginning of the sweet probably probably should absolutely do that if I'm going

[00:07:11] to be on this show.

[00:07:12] I think people know already that you know we are not professionals and it's just we're

[00:07:18] just sharing our ideas but again you know so like every day I have whether it's my sons

[00:07:23] activity my daughters activity we do something with my wife we do toastmasters together

[00:07:29] being a wife and then I have my hockey and like that's where they teach you to make really

[00:07:33] good toast right yeah but use all the finest butters yeah exactly really good jam and so

[00:07:41] like you know I'm so exhausted at the end of the day and then sometimes like the overexhaustion

[00:07:49] is a real thing then that's when you can't sleep actually because your mind is just

[00:07:54] raising constantly it's like okay what do I have to do the next day and like I don't even

[00:07:59] do that good of a job whereas my wife like she has to give me a reminder and she's on

[00:08:05] top of everything and that's and I give her kudos for that because she's been really tired

[00:08:13] lately because she has to catch up on my own thing too.

[00:08:16] Well and I think that's another thing you can probably touch on with this subject is

[00:08:20] like traditionally traditionally work-life balance is something that men have had to deal

[00:08:27] with but in today's world it's not just men because with the way the economy has gone

[00:08:33] there's no such thing as like the one income household anymore virtually right so like and

[00:08:39] that makes that balance that much tougher because it's not just your work life balance

[00:08:45] that you need to match up it's hers as well.

[00:08:48] Absolutely yeah it's insane so like yeah like if you're I think and I don't want to really

[00:08:56] speak on this is just what I think it might be but and you can talk on this but like if

[00:09:01] you're if you're single I think shit can be a little bit easier because like exactly

[00:09:07] what you just said that you don't have to you don't have that other variation in your

[00:09:11] scheduling that oh shit now what does she have to do or your partner have to do or if

[00:09:16] you have no it has its own pros and cons.

[00:09:18] So yeah I'll say that right like yes they're like you said there's there are less things

[00:09:24] you have to worry about fitting into that schedule but there's also things that you don't

[00:09:29] have that extra help it.

[00:09:31] That's right yeah exactly so it kind of goes both ways right yeah and double edged

[00:09:36] so and it's I don't know like I find it really hard to to balance that life and and I've

[00:09:42] heard many people say the same shit now I have a coworker who's like oh I played six

[00:09:48] hours of video games I'm like you son of a bitch I think so jealous you know like if

[00:09:52] I want to play video games that means I'm sacrificing sleep.

[00:09:56] Yeah well and it doesn't help that especially since the pandemic a lot of companies have

[00:10:01] really not kept up with cost of living inflation when it comes to their wages so that's

[00:10:08] just putting that much more extra pressure on everybody because not only did they have

[00:10:14] all this stress that they had before but now they can't afford anything either like I

[00:10:21] a week or so ago went to the grocery store and spent like 115 bucks and walked out

[00:10:26] with everything in one grocery bag.

[00:10:28] Yeah it's insane like I did the same thing I grabbed a basket and I'm like okay I'm just

[00:10:32] going to fill this basket I'm not taking your card yeah $130 like that.

[00:10:36] It's brutal like 300 bucks used to be a good solid fridge full for the whole family for

[00:10:43] the two weeks and nowadays 300 bucks like you're scraping scraps.

[00:10:50] Yeah basically so shit like that you know gets added into the equation right and like

[00:10:57] I don't know like like I know Tim told me about his stuff that at home like he's working

[00:11:03] from home sometimes he's working from the office but it's so hard because even if you're

[00:11:09] working at home like I don't know I can't speak on people that are working from home full

[00:11:15] time but Tim was saying that it's really hard because you're working and then you know

[00:11:22] wife or kid like hey can you do this can you do that or you know you're there and you're

[00:11:28] automatically available yeah right and it's like well I am working right now like this

[00:11:33] is there should be a wall here that you shouldn't see me right right and and I just I don't

[00:11:39] know what what we as humanity need to do not just man like you said it's it's I think

[00:11:45] goes for both all genders yeah but I just I don't know what the fixes like yeah what could

[00:11:52] we do to no it's funny because because you go back 20 30 years and the problem used to be

[00:11:59] the complete opposite was you would have a job where someone was never at home right like

[00:12:03] you travel all the time so is you know the the washing machine would always break down when

[00:12:09] you're not away and yeah yeah yeah yeah the roof would start leaking or something would always

[00:12:14] go wrong and you're not home to fix it and now it's gone complete like you just said 180 where

[00:12:22] now you're always home so you're expected to be able to fix everything and I truly believe

[00:12:29] that's that's COVID kind of caused that because we were at home all the time and well most of us

[00:12:38] I still have to go to work well and so many corporations realize we don't need an office

[00:12:43] 100% and so they they write away out of just the I and I think rightfully so if you're a business

[00:12:50] owner and you're trying to squeeze out as much of those workers to make more money sure why not

[00:12:54] right yeah is it right yeah I don't think so but I'm unionized worker so I look at things differently

[00:13:03] I mean in a lot of scenarios productivity went way up and why pay for an office if you're getting

[00:13:09] more productivity at a people not coming into one yeah but now for example in your case

[00:13:14] you could be doing your work most of it most of it you could do it from home right but you are

[00:13:19] but due to certain technicalities I can't yeah yeah and have to drive from outside the city to

[00:13:24] downtown every single day and yeah that's that's a couple hundred bucks a week just in gas itself

[00:13:31] let alone the time time eating lunch stuff like that you know like when I lived at home I could

[00:13:38] just kind of snack on whatever I had around the house throughout the day but I'm so actually

[00:13:42] jealous because I see thing it takes me a half an hour to get to work and some of my co-workers

[00:13:48] live like two minutes away you know and so they go home for a quick lunch you know or whatever

[00:13:53] and I was just like or even like they're finished their shift at three and they're all at three

[00:13:58] oh five you know I'm like that's also well that was like a few days but last week there I stayed

[00:14:04] in the city one night just because there was a really bad snowstorm and I knew that I had a lot of

[00:14:09] work the next day and there was a very good chance the highways would not be drivable in the morning

[00:14:15] so it's like I'm just gonna stay in the city so at least that way I can make sure I get to work

[00:14:20] even if it takes me a little bit of extra time in the morning and oh shit I just had a brain

[00:14:27] fart now I don't remember what I was saying with this oh oh yeah so it was so nice in the morning

[00:14:33] like it took me like 15 minutes to get to work and I was just like what yeah like I could sleep

[00:14:40] like an extra hour if I lived in the city and like so it was just so easy there was so much less

[00:14:47] stress in the drive because like yeah I mean the highway for the most part is really great but

[00:14:53] it can be its own stress when there's days that it's not great and then you get to the city

[00:15:00] and you have to deal with not only crappy road conditions but really really stupid drivers

[00:15:07] and so by the time I have a feeling we're gonna turn this episode into a ride

[00:15:12] by the time you get to work you're so frustrated but that's part of it right too like you

[00:15:18] you start your day frustrated then you work a whole day overworked and underpaid then you got to come

[00:15:25] home spend a hundred bucks on a bag of groceries and then find the energy to clean your house

[00:15:31] afterwards like where is that balance anymore like it it it is really really tough well I think it's

[00:15:37] something that it's starting to become more and more widespread I don't feel like there is much

[00:15:42] of a middle class anymore right like middle middle class used to be the majority of people

[00:15:47] and now I feel like a good majority of people are either struggling to get from paycheck to paycheck

[00:15:55] or their money's not an issue there's very few people that are just kind of in that comfortable zone

[00:16:01] of like yeah I make enough money you know thing things are good I can take a trip here on there if

[00:16:08] I want to see like so and as I was thinking about this whole work like balance

[00:16:17] me growing up in Europe it was very much like mom and dad went to work on day to Friday you know

[00:16:22] and I don't remember them like seeing any like cleaning done or anything it was just like

[00:16:29] I had like a couple of my activities during the week but

[00:16:32] you know they were they would come home mom would cook and that would just like you know hang out

[00:16:38] help her out gold whatever do do some things I never it's like in the wedding crash I never know

[00:16:45] what he's doing back then like that was just kind of hovering around and but then Saturday came

[00:16:52] and so Saturday was okay this is when we clean so I had to clean my room like I remember I had

[00:16:58] these little matchbox cars yeah this cabinet so I would take them out I would dust I would put

[00:17:05] them back on clean the glass on it and then the vacuum you know my parents would do the bathrooms

[00:17:10] and all that and and and that would be Saturday and then on Sunday it was like yes to like Sunday

[00:17:19] was the day to rest and yeah exactly it's like I guess part of being raised trying try to be raised

[00:17:26] as a Christian it was yeah Sunday would we would go to church and then mom would like be up already

[00:17:32] at 6 a.m. cooking everything so everything's cooked we go to church you come home we have lunch and

[00:17:37] lunch was always the biggest thing like yeah like I know in North America dinner is like the

[00:17:42] the family thing but for us it was always Sunday lunch my dad's out of the family was European

[00:17:49] so it was the same thing you go to Olma's house and when you showed up in the morning there

[00:17:54] was already a full spread yeah yeah oh I my favorite my favorite thing was once I started going

[00:18:01] to the bars and then you know come home at like four in the morning and all I can hear on Sunday morning

[00:18:06] my mom's like tenderizing the meat you know I'm like oh shit got the cleaver road yeah yeah but

[00:18:14] you know and then so after lunch we would my parents would literally like and not not just my

[00:18:19] parents all of us we would like let's see what's on TV and I remember as a kid at 3 p.m. there's

[00:18:25] always like three original wall Disney cartoons and it would either like Mickey Mouse goofy Donald

[00:18:32] dog you know one of them store the short 10 minute stories yeah yeah every day are and that was our

[00:18:37] thing like I would always watch that and they would pop in a movie and then we would just be like

[00:18:42] most of the time like let's go watch a movie and I'd be my dad would be on a couch I would be

[00:18:47] laying down on the ground and watching the TV and be with pass out we'd our bellies full right

[00:18:52] and yeah and that was a thing like we almost we had to we had time to like recharge so I think

[00:19:00] that's that's what one of the major differences is you look back then and you had to go to work

[00:19:08] and you had to deal with home and dealing with home back then you didn't have a cable bill

[00:19:14] an internet bill a hydro bill yeah this bill of that bill a car bill you know like that everything

[00:19:22] was a lot simpler mm-hmm back then yeah well yeah and so two story house with yeah like three four

[00:19:29] nights and you had you had what you needed um and that gave you that extra energy for when you were

[00:19:35] at home to be a bit have a bit more that militant style where like you clean as you go and you can

[00:19:42] be strict about getting someone to clean where like that's one thing I find I'm really bad at now

[00:19:48] because I am so done with it by the time that I come home and do the couple chores that I have to

[00:19:55] do that I tell my kid to go do something and if he doesn't do it like I'm already so wiped out

[00:20:02] that I'm just kind of like checked out and doing my own thing flipping on my phone or watching the

[00:20:07] TV that a lot of times it it's not until like 839 o'clock then I'm like you never even did that

[00:20:14] yeah god now I gotta go like talk about it you know like but then you didn't do it either

[00:20:22] no well no but because I do that too it's like I come home and I'm like I'm gonna sit down right

[00:20:27] now and then I forget about it right and then oh absolutely and then I'm trying to give my

[00:20:31] my kid and my daughter like she's so smart like she's turning 15 this year and she's just like

[00:20:37] that you also did into your stuff I'll shut up I give myself the pass because I at least do it most days

[00:20:45] yeah so nobody has to tell me on a daily basis remind me of my chores in order for them to be done

[00:20:53] but yeah that's the thing I mean you know parenting has changed a whole bunch as well

[00:21:00] over the years and I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing like I'm not here advocating that we

[00:21:08] you know bring back spanking and all that kind of punishment and stuff like that but I mean

[00:21:13] you got different results at a kids when you did that now you got different later life outcomes

[00:21:21] from those kids as well so that's a little bit of trauma yeah exactly that's why I'm saying I'm

[00:21:26] not necessarily advocating for it but like in a simpler time with everyone being more

[00:21:34] on point about what they had to do you know shit got done and then it was just done

[00:21:41] whereas now you know well one little lazy day can start backing everything yeah it's great

[00:21:49] it's just no ball of fix right yeah it just gets bigger and bigger to pile it piles up

[00:21:55] hey Tommy among all the episodes we've recorded you know there's one common theme

[00:22:00] and that's getting therapy we've talked about it lots many many times yeah to really tough time

[00:22:06] making that first phone call I had a tough time making that first phone call I didn't even know

[00:22:12] if the person I was gonna see was the right person but you got to just try thank goodness we have

[00:22:18] a sponsor that makes it way easier now better help has an online platform that allows you to fill out

[00:22:24] a questionnaire they connect you with a therapist and you get to communicate with them however you want

[00:22:29] so whether that's text messaging that's emails that's through their app that's video chats

[00:22:35] you get all those options and it makes it way less scary to be connected with someone

[00:22:40] and if you're not into the person you talk to they'll sign you another one right away I've gotten

[00:22:45] a sign mine already and I can't wait to hear it like by the time you hear this I will have had

[00:22:50] my first session and I'm super pumped to talk about it on the show yeah I'm very excited about

[00:22:54] it and like it's very easy to sign up it took us maybe five minutes to sign up and you answered

[00:23:01] just simple questions and next thing you know you got a message that the therapy will be paired up

[00:23:07] with a therapist and within the same day we got the therapist already in the name and a message

[00:23:13] from them and we were able to communicate with them so it's extremely easy so please go to

[00:23:19] better health dot com yeah that's the thing better health dot com slash quiet riot show and you get

[00:23:25] to also enjoy 10% offer your first month if you sign up using this link so again right here I'm

[00:23:33] going to be doing it from here yeah it's better help am I screwing it up dot com slash quiet riot

[00:23:40] show yeah sign up today and you'll you're not going to regret it because I'm already enjoying it

[00:23:47] just the fact that we connected with therapist me too man thank you to better help for supporting

[00:23:53] this podcast now I have had many discussions with my wife oh yeah she listens to this she might

[00:24:03] have another one with me but you know I like I grew up again and I'm comparing that because that's

[00:24:13] that's how I remember being as a kid and like I'm seeing now myself as a parent with my kids and

[00:24:19] I had maybe few activity like couple activities throughout the whole week yeah it was like

[00:24:27] one of them was two days a week and the other one was really just uh once a week or whenever I wanted to

[00:24:35] and it uh it was I found it it was great for me you know because then I also had some free time

[00:24:43] just to go hang out with my friends right and right but again growing up in a small town

[00:24:48] I could go out and hang out with my friends just going knock on the door hey is Johnny home no okay

[00:24:53] is Billy home no is uh whatever home yeah sure clouds yeah I don't know why I think you had a

[00:25:00] friend named clouds back I actually did it um but you know it was easy for me to kind of as a kid

[00:25:08] do my activities and then go out with friends but I find that our kids this generation they

[00:25:15] we tend to like at least for my family we tend to pile up activities on them because well do you

[00:25:20] want to do this oh sure okay let's do it so my daughter doing gymnastics three times a week plus

[00:25:26] she's coaching on a fourth day and she's got piano so that's five days of the week that she has

[00:25:36] something yeah now my son has Taekwondo two days a week and drumming sorry three times a week

[00:25:42] Taekwondo and drumming right and then so then me and the wife are doing toast masters my wife

[00:25:48] tries to go and a walk with her friend every once in a while and and I I also play hockey

[00:25:55] and so this is the winter time and in the summer we try to go camping right right so like we have

[00:26:00] every day something and I'm just like well part of me like well kids don't need as many activities

[00:26:07] can I just come home and watch Simpson the one night or right but I don't know and then

[00:26:14] but I also part of me doesn't want to take that opportunity away from them because my parents

[00:26:19] gave me certain things and I maybe do I feel like they could have done more for me sure yeah see

[00:26:26] what I understand now my parents why they didn't 100 but and I think that's another big difference

[00:26:33] between the two generations is like when we were young I feel like a lot of parents couldn't afford

[00:26:43] to do all the things we do for our kids nowadays and we yeah but we just accepted that you know

[00:26:53] when parents said I can't afford that it was like okay well that's kind of how it is usually like in

[00:26:58] our generation kids had one thing yeah right like you got to play hockey or you got to I mean hockey

[00:27:05] hockey is almost like a full-time activity and it's so I never got to play it growing up and

[00:27:10] understandably so but you know and I think and same even with toys and stuff like that like we

[00:27:18] wanted toys and parents would just like no like I can't afford that and and so many of us

[00:27:24] didn't have a lot of those like you know like the the GI Joe aircraft carrier everyone had one

[00:27:31] friend who had it and you brought your GI Joe's to his house and you played with it yeah

[00:27:36] but like most kids knew they weren't gonna be the kid that got the GI Joe aircraft

[00:27:41] you know and I think it's one of those things that in our generation because it's

[00:27:50] it hasn't become more feasible but for some reason I think like we feel as parents

[00:27:56] we want to give our kids the things that we didn't get to have yeah and so we are spending so much more

[00:28:05] yeah on our kids whereas our parents were just like no go play outside like sorry

[00:28:10] it is what it is and and we're like no you got to be in swimming you got to be in Taekwondo

[00:28:14] you got to be in guitar lessons you got to go and your Jitsu and Parkour and like

[00:28:21] dragon boat yeah mountain climbing and so like it's it's and like you know when you work all

[00:28:27] and here's a $700 Xbox for your birthday

[00:28:33] yeah exactly so it's tough you know like and part of me feels like okay I'm just working my ass off

[00:28:39] and then I just literally see the money leave the bank account the day after I get paid oh god

[00:28:47] yeah two days after you're already planning like okay so we got another 14 days to go

[00:28:54] yeah right how are we getting there that's that's our financial struggle right there you're like okay

[00:29:00] I need to still be able to have enough gas to get to work you know food in the fridge that

[00:29:04] we're not just eating mr. noodles and sometimes that just happens yeah I mean who doesn't love

[00:29:10] mr. noodles me and me and my son we actually love that I don't I don't mind it either

[00:29:17] and I have 30 cents a bag I mean you can't go wrong yeah you don't have a choice nowadays

[00:29:22] but to stalk that yeah yeah yeah but these are the sacrifices we sometimes have to make I guess right

[00:29:28] and yeah and I am truly jealous of people that decide to maybe not give kids as many activities

[00:29:37] or they just say go outside and play or you know or just be really energetic parents and spend

[00:29:44] all their time with the kids you know I definitely know a few of them that like

[00:29:49] who knows who does to those people absolutely I give those people more respect than anyone on

[00:29:54] the planet because they are not only being great parents but they're also saving themselves a

[00:30:02] shit ton of money that they can then use for other things to to benefit their kids lives but

[00:30:08] it again circles back to that work life balance that not everybody has that energy and it doesn't

[00:30:13] mean you're a bad person like I would love to be like that with my kid and I I cannot I don't

[00:30:21] know some people do it me me me my mom went back when she worked she was an EA so like educational

[00:30:29] assistance so and she used to regularly bug me like we need more guys on on the force because

[00:30:36] we only have we only have females and you know there's male students that certain things require male

[00:30:42] assistants and stuff like that and I was just like no like I am sorry but you could not pay me

[00:30:50] enough money in the world yeah I don't like I love my kids man I don't want to I'm most of the time

[00:30:59] I love my kids yeah I love them all the time I love them but I don't like them all the time exactly

[00:31:07] that's that's how we got to put it yeah so but like other people's kids can be really rough

[00:31:15] to deal with some people's kids I love some people have great kids but like when you're working

[00:31:19] in a school you don't get that choice and that would not have been for me I could like so anybody

[00:31:26] who works in the educational system has so much of my respect not only for you know helping

[00:31:33] educate the next generation of this planet but having the patience to deal with them while also doing that

[00:31:41] oh god yeah like it's so funny because like my so my daughter is in grade nine right now and she was

[00:31:46] like selecting her classes for a great 10 already and just like man like I know I know what you

[00:31:53] say because you I remember you telling me like they have video editing classes and then one of them

[00:31:58] was like web design and I told my daughter I'm like dude take it I'll get you jobs like

[00:32:05] you can charge a shit ton of money to create websites yeah yeah and then cool okay like she

[00:32:12] wants to become a teacher and you know that's that's her path and like the classes that she

[00:32:17] took teacher web design class but it was just like it was blown away like the activity and what

[00:32:25] the whole educational system how it works right now because for me it was completely different

[00:32:32] like yeah it's math science english oh and like we like in europe it's actually even more we had

[00:32:38] like I had biology chemist to write it up to grade 12 like it wasn't like oh yeah they become

[00:32:44] options no no not like in in Slovakia it was straight up like in the school the school that I went

[00:32:51] to was supposed to prep you for university like it's just kind of like a general university thing

[00:32:56] where you explore what you want to do right but they still taught you all the subjects like we had

[00:33:01] history right up till grade 12 we had the biology chemistry math was like we can use calculators

[00:33:09] my calculator was a piece of paper and a pen oh yeah the teacher was like because you're not

[00:33:14] going to have a calculator in your pocket or your whole life I know yeah but now part of me

[00:33:19] part of me thinks though that it's it's helped me because I know I understand why the numbers add up

[00:33:26] to that point right so but it was it was just like very interesting that that how I finished high

[00:33:36] school and how my daughters go through high school right now like they're picking subjects that

[00:33:40] I never like it's they're almost teaching them life skills and I like that yeah because I

[00:33:45] wanted like my teacher my chemistry teacher was literally giving me the answers to the test

[00:33:50] because she knew I'm dumb as fuck and I'm never going to be a chemist so my son's school is it's

[00:33:57] trying a new format it's called project based learning so instead of the old format that you and

[00:34:02] I went to where it's you know math science english friends whatever um what they do is

[00:34:09] you pick a learning path so the first year they make you take a little bit of everything but there's

[00:34:15] essentially there's four learning paths there's like academics sciences uh media and arts I think

[00:34:24] are the are the four paths so the first year you take a little bit of everything just to you know

[00:34:28] make sure you get a get a feel of it and then once you get into the second year then that's when

[00:34:33] you pick your path and then within your path you start picking courses so my son for example

[00:34:40] took media so he had options of learning like podcasting media print marketing like all those types

[00:34:49] of things and then what they do is instead of you having a math class or whatever for example you

[00:34:55] go into your um let's say it's an audio engineering class so your math will be math that has to do with

[00:35:04] with that acoustics and stuff like that and your your science will also kind of follow into that and

[00:35:10] statistics on that and then instead of doing like regular schoolwork and stuff you're placed into groups

[00:35:17] they give you a project that incorporates all of this knowledge and then you all do up a project

[00:35:25] together and are graded based on your overall understanding of everything so there there has been

[00:35:31] criticism of it because people are like oh well kids go there and then grades just suddenly rise

[00:35:37] and it's got to be because it's just easier they're not being as harsh on them but it's like

[00:35:42] well not everybody though like there are definitely a group of kids that excel in the traditional style

[00:35:50] you know where you you take classes you read books and you do tests but there are kids and I

[00:35:57] I feel like I would have benefited from this massively oh 100% that it's more of this hands-on approach

[00:36:04] and it also sets you in the direction of the path that your interests lie so at least you're learning

[00:36:15] and when you're learning things that are in a path that interests you like I think we can speak on

[00:36:19] like when we started podcasting neither of us knew a damn thing about how to work a studio or

[00:36:25] a soundboard or anything like that and we spent hundreds of hours watching YouTube videos yeah

[00:36:32] troubleshooting flipping switches up and down and trying to figure out why like nothing was working

[00:36:38] actually my daughter asked me a couple of days ago what does troubleshooting mean

[00:36:44] and I was just oh so disappointed you bring it out here flip one switch and go now make it work

[00:36:53] no but yeah it's so so I love I love this new system that the how our generation is being

[00:37:00] brought it because I think it's really like showing them showing them different different avenues

[00:37:07] and okay you like this then head down this path right yeah because again like why would you

[00:37:14] need to learn calculus if you're really if you want to be a you know art teacher or like

[00:37:21] or an artist like that does paint and for example when I was in high school I would have

[00:37:27] loved to have taken band but I didn't because the mindset back then was where's that going to get

[00:37:34] you in life yeah so I took all computer courses because computers were the future where did it take

[00:37:40] you well I mean like don't get me wrong that my my knowledge of computers I have used it to my

[00:37:47] benefit but I've also spent a damn big portion of my life in music and having been in band and stuff

[00:37:55] like that an understanding music and that's what it helped me a whole bunch as well so that whole

[00:38:01] mentality of do what's going to be the future well I think as maybe I think you are wise like

[00:38:08] the revision of computer science was different than what you use those skills for in your life

[00:38:16] well yeah and and had I taken music my path in life could have been very different

[00:38:21] 100% right and I could have used those skills to take me down a path that maybe would have done

[00:38:26] things that would have not necessarily made as much money but would have fulfilled me a lot more

[00:38:33] doing and when you love doing something it really doesn't become it's not a job it just becomes

[00:38:39] a hobby and I think that's an important thing we need to consider with our kids when it comes

[00:38:44] to future work life balance right is like I think we need to be more supportive of our kids doing

[00:38:50] what they want to do now that's really tough because so many of them as you know want to be a YouTuber

[00:38:57] but I mean the same thing goes if you would have told me as a kid that I'd be doing essentially a

[00:39:02] radio show yeah yeah out of it like come on man only people from Hollywood get to do that yeah

[00:39:08] exactly and yeah here we're you know we're not making any money but well maybe you are I don't

[00:39:14] know but the point is like again I mean had YouTube been around when I was a kid my my childhood

[00:39:24] pastime was I had a home camcorder and me and my friends did our own like Saturday night live

[00:39:31] basically like we would make up skits and I have a few VHS tapes of them

[00:39:36] yeah I'm gonna have a set of nowhere there but that's what we would do we would we would come up with

[00:39:41] these skits we would spend like nights like writing out skits and then we would over the span of

[00:39:46] the next couple weeks record them all and then we would put them onto a VHS tape and you would just

[00:39:52] watch that all the time and it was just between us but like had YouTube been around oh my god

[00:39:57] all right we could have been publishing that and a lot of it was actually I mean for its time at

[00:40:02] least pretty damn funny right so like had YouTube been around I'd have probably been a millionaire

[00:40:08] right now that's what I like to think it was yeah well you know it's it's it's it's one of those

[00:40:14] things that there's certain things that we did not have in our life you know and that's why I

[00:40:22] think we are I think we're the generation where we went from we were the in between we had both

[00:40:30] yeah we had the pre-technology and the post technology and like if you think about the technology has

[00:40:36] evolved like I think that the previous big step was when an airplane could fly well and that's

[00:40:43] the thing you look at our grandparents life yeah like when they were born likely cars were just

[00:40:50] hitting the road kind of thing and there was no super cars like there's while there was no

[00:40:56] flight that's right we hadn't been to space yeah we didn't have cares for even simple diseases yeah

[00:41:04] so like they they lived to see through all of that and then we lived to see through like when we

[00:41:08] were kids like you were lucky to have the little you know the pocket poker kind of games where it's

[00:41:13] like Tetris those the Tetris got oh yeah Tetris those types of games so cool but the point where now

[00:41:20] I was here your kids playing virtual reality and I was throwing balls at him to try to get his attention

[00:41:25] yeah that's what like it's crazy how I like the technology in the last

[00:41:31] even 20 years like I moved here 20 years ago well yeah look at I moved to get out of 20 years ago

[00:41:37] I still had why 2k I still yeah I still had a um no key a phone that tick like oh my god you can't

[00:41:45] take pictures with this now picture was horrible like yeah I was grainy as hell you could tell like

[00:41:51] it wasn't even one megapixel like and so like I'm like but that was already like cool and then now

[00:41:59] technically I could get rid of both my computers and use just my phone before like every day

[00:42:06] banking and and like just usage emails and stuff like yeah um so it's it's mind blowing that what

[00:42:12] you can what you can do now with the technology and it's I think part of it is scary too for

[00:42:19] me because I see my kids you know get on it right away when they get home from work now are they

[00:42:27] being anti social if I compare to how I was growing up for sure because you know you should go

[00:42:34] out with your friends yeah go ride your bike you know but there I think they're being actually

[00:42:40] very social but it's all online yeah and that was actually one thing I was going to actually

[00:42:46] bring up about this whole balance thing is screen time yeah because that's a thing that we didn't

[00:42:52] have when we were young and it is a very big part of today's lifestyle it like you were just saying

[00:43:02] not all of it's bad you know like there there is a lot of productive things you can do with your

[00:43:08] screen and then that's another thing that I've noticed with my son too like I mean he spent

[00:43:16] a few formative years right during the pandemic right yeah so he really really got hooked into that

[00:43:26] whole online socialization right so it was all online and there's often times where I'll tell him

[00:43:34] like hey man why don't you invite a few friends over like just play video games all together here

[00:43:39] and he's like why yeah like when we do it the way we do it we all have our own room our own TV

[00:43:47] our own stuff were in our area I don't get it because I don't need that and we're still talking

[00:43:54] to each other like why does the like his his mindset is why does the person need to be sitting

[00:43:59] beside me and but for you and I that makes sense because we used to do that we would get together

[00:44:04] with friends and watch each other play games and like we would take turns and but now they

[00:44:08] playing the same game or we would even not play a game we would just sit there and talk to each other

[00:44:15] but like that's just a weird thing to do nowadays apparently like unless you're online doing

[00:44:20] an activity together you're like why are we talking yeah right it's weird so the whole social

[00:44:25] dynamic has changed so like I think in the future you're gonna run into even more

[00:44:31] difficulties with this balance because you're getting you're growing anxieties as well too

[00:44:36] like I feel like my kid probably doesn't even like you know what the solution is

[00:44:42] is that new apple vision thing because now people will be able to go in public slap that on

[00:44:49] and still be online but they're not in public yeah like oh man like it's crazy

[00:44:55] I think we got to do similar to you know how they used to teach kids to swim by just throwing

[00:44:59] them off the dock yeah we got to just throw a bunch of kids in a room and close the door

[00:45:02] oh my god yeah we should definitely put it to a test of people there it's

[00:45:07] yeah big and social experiment yeah no so yeah I guess it's it's a it's a it's a topic that we

[00:45:13] can't really I don't think anybody can have nothing to pinpoint yeah there's nothing to pinpoint

[00:45:19] there's so many different angles learning learning how to balance your work your activities your

[00:45:27] fun like fun fun activities and your family necessarily exactly like it's really hard we actually

[00:45:35] me and a wife had a chat about this that in the past like before kids were older and we

[00:45:41] signed them up to all these crazy activities was we would get together once a month and just kind

[00:45:48] of like hey let's hang out kids can hang out together and they played watched movie whatever you

[00:45:52] know parents were upstairs having some drinks some food and it was great like we did that once a

[00:45:56] month but also in like the activities grew you know schedules grew and we just there's a few

[00:46:06] friends that we haven't seen like just a couple teenagers in a room anymore no because it's awkward

[00:46:11] yeah or the I don't know like yeah it's it's just it's I don't know I don't know how to fix it

[00:46:16] but you know we actually said that we're gonna have to schedule some put our friends in our schedule

[00:46:24] and like hey on you know this date we are getting together for dinner with the kids because

[00:46:32] that's the only way we're gonna see them you know what I'd like to hear it in this show in the

[00:46:36] future from from you and Tim I can't put my perspective in this but it's growing up with daughters

[00:46:42] oh that is something that like I've got sons and like I feel like daughters would be a bit

[00:46:49] easier and more fun maybe when they're younger but when they hit the age that dating starts

[00:46:55] I would have a loaded gun on me at all times like I don't know how I would even

[00:47:02] sleep at night because like I know how guys were when we were young and it is not gotten better

[00:47:09] no no so here's my thing I I've had this conversation with my daughter and I

[00:47:16] I showed her two video clips one was from bad boys too when Reggie shows up at the door

[00:47:26] yeah and then the second one was from Den of Thieves with 50 cent okay yeah where the boy

[00:47:32] comes pick up the girl for prom or whatever and then he's like yeah let me talk to him for a second

[00:47:38] take him to the garage and there's these giant sim one guys you know and he's like hey man like my

[00:47:44] my daughter was my under my protection and now I'm giving you that protection uh you know right over

[00:47:51] so she'll be home like at 10 30s like yeah yeah 10 30s looking around to all these guys and

[00:47:57] one of them speaks up to him in sim one you know and then he got a guy's like what he's trying to say

[00:48:02] this just have a great time tonight and then he leaves at a big burst out laughing right and

[00:48:09] and after that I showed it showed her those clips part of me was super happy and part of me is like

[00:48:18] maybe I shouldn't have done that I didn't want to ask because I might have scared her

[00:48:25] in like into telling not telling me that she's interested in a boy yeah or interested in boys or

[00:48:30] girls whatever but uh so I why every once in a while I ask her okay so like what's going on like

[00:48:36] you know I got any boyfriend or anybody that you like and she's like no no no no I don't talk about it

[00:48:41] you know she doesn't talk to my wife about that either so we and she's pretty honest with my wife

[00:48:46] so I'm thinking that she's she might be interested but not not that kind of interested enough

[00:48:53] to actually get into a relationship maybe you know yeah so I don't know it's it's

[00:49:00] I want her what I what I've been trying to do is just basically we've all we've been very open

[00:49:05] with everything and just kind of tell her like look like boys are gonna be boys they're gonna

[00:49:11] be trying you know different things like I took my daughter shopping and she bought few uh tops

[00:49:17] and I was just like like I'm not gonna say no you can't buy it because at the end of the day

[00:49:22] it's your body you know if you feel comfortable I'm happy for you but just no what boys are looking

[00:49:29] like it's that whole thing of like back in the day or there was like people would say well they

[00:49:33] were asking for it no you're not asking for it no you're absolutely not asking for it but to

[00:49:39] discount the fact that there are going to be guys who are going to oh look differently

[00:49:46] well and my daughter like my wife is big-chested and my daughter is following the same footsteps

[00:49:53] and she's developed early so like you know when she has this top on and I told her I was like

[00:50:00] this barely covers your sports bra you know like and I'm like it looks you look really good in it

[00:50:07] like it fits her body fantastic but like again well I'm gonna wear a hoodie I'm like

[00:50:14] at one point you see the worst fashion choice is I have to worry about with my son easy legs

[00:50:18] wearing stuff for too long so it looks like flood pants and shit like that I'm like dude you're

[00:50:22] gonna get beat up so it's really really hard uh I think we just I'm just going with the flow

[00:50:31] like see what happens every day and it's a day by day case you know I think I can really prep for

[00:50:37] well and seeing that's a thing like you can only do so much as a parent right

[00:50:41] and at the end of the day they're still always going to be the influence from the kids that

[00:50:46] they hang out with and you can't you can't choose their friends for them you can't force them into

[00:50:52] friend groups because that's just gonna create more pushback from them so you have to you have

[00:50:59] to just do your best as a parent and then trust that they're going to make the good decisions

[00:51:05] like I my son um he wanted to go to the Pantera concert with a friend and then the day he was

[00:51:12] gonna buy tickets he asked his friend like hey just making sure you're still in this friend was

[00:51:16] like I already got tickets so I told my son I'm like well you know what I'll go with you yeah

[00:51:22] so I bought a ticket and bought him a ticket and we went and as soon as we get there he's like

[00:51:30] okay well I'm gonna go look for my friend so I basically sat there the whole time by myself

[00:51:34] just like and he went off with his friends which I'm totally cool right like it's if that's

[00:51:41] the worst thing I have to do as a parent is go sit through a Pantera concert I mean that's all

[00:51:46] full you know like I'm doing okay I think but after the show he was even telling me he was like

[00:51:52] yes so some of those kids were talking about like doing drugs and being on drugs and stuff like

[00:51:57] that and just the fact that he felt he is 16 okay so but the fact that he was comfortable with

[00:52:06] telling me that yeah and I mean obviously I know from his reaction that he wasn't interested

[00:52:14] in it like he well I did I mean you know it's like when I was smoking when I was 13 and 14

[00:52:23] and then my mom actually she'd never smoked before but she lit up a couple of smokes I was like oh

[00:52:28] mom this is gross why are you doing it you know like just I was playing the part yeah of being

[00:52:32] innocent while I was like secretly smoking as well yeah I'm but I get what you're saying no yeah

[00:52:38] I get what you're saying I really again like he doesn't leave the house right so I know he's not

[00:52:43] out smoking he's not out doing drugs I could leave the I couldn't wait to leave the house so I can have

[00:52:47] a cigarette yeah and like yeah I just feel like it's nice to know that he has he's comfortable

[00:52:58] enough to talk to me about those things I mean yeah I never if if I was doing something bad with

[00:53:05] my friends I wouldn't go to my parents exactly oh yeah they're talking about drugs and stuff

[00:53:10] and like meanwhile I'd be high you know like I would never do that yeah unless you like you said

[00:53:15] like you trust your kid that he's he's not doing it and yeah no it's it's tough it's tough

[00:53:22] raising kids nowadays man but I completely understand why some people decide not to

[00:53:30] and there's people that that have just had they just had kids and then

[00:53:35] don't go I didn't know how you're gonna do it like what did you do and I'm like dude

[00:53:39] there's nothing I can tell you don't worry about what I did I can tell you how I did things but

[00:53:44] you're gonna find your own way yeah because you know excuse me what I tell you now it's not

[00:53:51] going to matter when you are completely sleep deprived in two weeks one comes back to that balance

[00:53:56] depends what you do for work is it are you doing physical work or are you you're more mentally exhausted

[00:54:04] at the end of the day exactly and those those produce two completely different outcomes at the end

[00:54:08] of the day as well I just got a new job right now and with them still within my work but my work is

[00:54:14] now 100 percent mental like there's no I don't have any more physical work at all so I'm more

[00:54:22] exhausted like I come home and I need like need to decompress a little bit because I just like

[00:54:27] okay there was a lot of thinking that I had to do or whatever and just like that like you

[00:54:31] can recover as fast as from like if you're breaking concrete all day yeah well when I was young my

[00:54:38] first half of the job but my first handful of jobs were physical labor jobs landscaping and stuff

[00:54:46] like that and then when I moved over to office work I was actually sleeping more after work

[00:54:55] when I did office work than when I was doing the physical labor because the physical labor I feel

[00:54:59] like it kept your keep the blood flowing and stuff like that muscles get stronger and you kind

[00:55:06] of build up a risk whereas the office work I came home and I was just mentally exhausted and like

[00:55:11] well and if you're in office and you're not a window you don't get that sunlight in right away yeah

[00:55:17] well I'm sure I've told you the story before but for years I worked in a basement where during

[00:55:22] the winter time if I didn't go for a walk at lunch I would go a whole week without seeing the sun

[00:55:28] because when I left for work in the morning it's dark and when I leave at the end of the day it's

[00:55:33] dark so and there's no windows here underground like your skin would turn gray if you didn't

[00:55:40] physically take it upon yourself to go out at lunchtime and go topside so

[00:55:46] and that has a huge effect on your mental health as well like not ever ever getting that

[00:55:53] that sunlight so yeah the mental exhaustion that I was getting when I was in that position

[00:55:59] and it was just not a fulfilling job at all either like it was literally one of those ones where

[00:56:06] you would go you would show up punch your card tap away for eight hours checking the clock who knows

[00:56:14] how many times and then yeah I would go home I'd be in a bad mood as soon as I got home because

[00:56:20] there was just stuff frustrating me all day so I mean I think that's maybe something to touch on

[00:56:28] as well is taking making sure at some point in your day you take the time to if you're not getting

[00:56:35] that physical activity like I do it now every day at lunchtime I use my lunch break to go for a walk

[00:56:41] and I walk about two kilometers and even that I've lost a lot of weight yeah and I'm in a much

[00:56:52] better mental state often I find you're getting oxygen you're getting that sunlight right like

[00:56:58] and I also find that one I come home I'm not just like done yeah you know like a lot of times

[00:57:04] I still have a bit of that residual energy left over where I can get a couple things done and I find

[00:57:10] I'm one of those people like as long as I'm continually active I keep having energy the second

[00:57:16] I go and sit on the couch that's when my day ends yeah so if I am coming home and I'm on a low

[00:57:22] already and I just go straight to the couch then my day's over as soon as I get home from work and

[00:57:27] that's not helping anything because then stuff starts piling up at home you start getting overwhelmed

[00:57:35] and then it's just a vicious cycle of not being able to catch up with it so I think it's a huge

[00:57:42] thing to take that time to get at least some little bit of physical activity even if it's just a

[00:57:50] a bit of walking every day a bit of fresh air a bit of sunlight like all of those things can really

[00:57:57] make a massive difference and that's not to say because I completely hate it when people use

[00:58:02] that like someone says they're depressed and they're like well if you try going for a walk

[00:58:06] a walk in the woods is actually the greatest medicine it's like look I agree that a walk in the

[00:58:11] woods is great for you there's certain things that require medication still that's not an answer

[00:58:20] have you tried being not not sad you know it's like don't be sad your stomach hurts how have you

[00:58:26] tried pooping like yes that does work for a lot of people yeah but it's not always the case

[00:58:32] no you might have an ulcer well I think we can put a pin in this topic here um

[00:58:40] again balancing your your work your family your activities make sure your well-being is taking care

[00:58:50] of I'm going to mat rife tonight make sure you laugh laughter is another huge yeah there you go

[00:58:54] yeah that's that's a good we have few comedy shows lined up for this year so I can't wait for

[00:58:59] that yeah when is that in back it's an April coming up yeah so um again like take care of yourselves

[00:59:07] take care of your family make sure you guys you guys find the right way that works for yourselves

[00:59:14] and yeah just uh hopefully you're managing that work life balance better than I am right now

[00:59:21] yeah because I'm I'm definitely struggling and uh there's lots of things that you mentioned

[00:59:25] that I'd like to be doing like doing the activities um just excuse me I'm just not I think mentally

[00:59:33] I'm not there hey man even our hockey that me and you both used to do every Wednesday I have missed

[00:59:39] four out of the last five probably like it's just as good as it is to go out there like

[00:59:46] it's just I don't have a life man life so thank you very much for joining me today here filling in

[00:59:53] pictures for Tim yeah I'm not a doctor but I'll take a look that's right I appreciate yeah I

[00:59:58] appreciate you coming kind of last minute but uh this is always a pleasure hopefully hopefully

[01:00:02] guys enjoyed this episode with me and bretsky ranting a little bit and just kind of discussing

[01:00:08] few things if you uh completely unscripted okay then definitely unscripted yeah and I'm sure

[01:00:14] you guys can tell that uh please follow us on instagram if you don't yet it's at Quiet Riot Show

[01:00:21] and if you have a questions for me Tim or even bretsky you can send us an email at

[01:00:28] quiet Riot Show at gmail.com and uh we'll definitely answer we've got a few emails and we

[01:00:34] always answered to back to everyone. uh raid our show too as well and Tim's not here to give

[01:00:40] me shit for this um definitely gonna throw it out there. Rape and review our show smash that like

[01:00:45] button thanks buddy again and thanks for the beer uh and the foods that you brought today so

[01:00:51] appreciate it always a pleasure okay bye bye

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