"Transforming Depression into Success" with Carlo Taormina

[00:00:00] Not to sound too dark sidey, but like I'm gonna go this empire right? I want to help people

[00:00:05] I'm gonna leave my mark in the world. By the way that's the second star with reference you get a third one that's three strikes you're out.

[00:00:11] I'm gonna stop, I'm gonna stop.

[00:00:15] Not on this side of the table. Just side of the floor and say, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding. I just had to throw it out there.

[00:00:25] We should have a rule about that.

[00:00:28] Like the pre-call, framing it? Okay we cannot have a star with reference.

[00:00:32] Yeah yeah it should be part of the emails we sent before the show.

[00:00:55] Hey everybody, welcome back to The Quiet Riot Show. I'm Tim. Across from you is my co-host Tommy. I missed the last show.

[00:01:10] I wasn't on it, that's the first one I've missed.

[00:01:12] Yeah I did kind of mention that what happened not I didn't go into details to our listeners but I think we were gonna keep that topic to a different episode.

[00:01:21] Yeah we can unpack that in a separate episode that we want to.

[00:01:26] Yeah but so yeah you weren't here and we had Carlo actually scheduled but we had to cancel it.

[00:01:33] So I quickly pulled in a good friend of ours, our friend Bretsky.

[00:01:37] Oh boy.

[00:01:38] It was a good episode actually we talked about a very common topic that I think

[00:01:44] might even come up today as well. It was the work-life balance.

[00:01:49] You know like we all deal with it as I don't have it.

[00:01:52] Well that's just it, we're trying to figure out what it is right and everyone's saying like

[00:01:58] oh you should be able to work X amount of hours and just kind of then go home and relax but I'm

[00:02:02] like I can't find that time.

[00:02:04] Yeah so it was a really good episode I think.

[00:02:06] Kind of fake Willy Wonka factor in life as that.

[00:02:10] So we kind of just dove into that a little bit and I know like you know

[00:02:15] Bret and I have like a 9-5 job but then you're an entrepreneur

[00:02:19] and I'm trying to kind of transition into that world so like I think we'll talk about that

[00:02:24] over the next few episodes for sure.

[00:02:27] Because I think it's well it's part of our lives anyways.

[00:02:29] What do like to be a part of that episode?

[00:02:31] Yeah I know but that's why I'm sure well I have talked about it but not specifically on it

[00:02:37] yeah on that topic and again it just comes up in conversation because it's part of our everyday life right so

[00:02:42] yeah well we can ask our guest about work life balance today too.

[00:02:46] Absolutely yeah I'm sure we're going to talk about it so

[00:02:49] Anyways we have a guest.

[00:02:50] Yeah we do.

[00:02:51] Carlo Tauer-Mina he is a I'll let him introduce himself I guess why don't yeah tell

[00:02:59] tell everyone who you are.

[00:03:01] Yeah well hello everybody thank you guys thank you Tim and Tommy for letting me

[00:03:04] be on the show I really appreciate it I appreciate the opportunity for letting me share my story

[00:03:10] and yeah so I am a men's life coach tech forums coach and a keynote speaker but it wasn't always

[00:03:16] that way but I kind of found this purpose through my journey dealing with my own mental health issues

[00:03:21] dealing with depression suicide ideation and now it's so surreal that I get to help people

[00:03:28] who are in the exact shoes I was in a couple years ago and speak from stages do podcasts like

[00:03:32] this and just to help them shine that light.

[00:03:35] Nice that's awesome so I kind of creeped your instagram a little bit went back all the way

[00:03:41] to the bottom because I kind of wanted to see who Carlo really is and so you had a page that was

[00:03:47] all about fitness right yeah and yeah is that kind of what started your your journey a little bit like

[00:03:55] once it's once he got good I guess because there I assumed there was a dark time that you went

[00:03:59] through which we're gonna unveil but absolutely I um at the time and I was a personal trainer because

[00:04:08] fitness has always been part of my life and I wanted I've always wanted to help people you know

[00:04:12] into that in the story a little bit but to get context I've always been somebody who wanted

[00:04:16] to serve to help people and fitness was such a big part of my life I wanted to help people in

[00:04:21] that aspect and then eventually my journey evolved. Nice yeah so yeah because you mentioned your

[00:04:28] life coach and when you're a trainer you're coaching people how to get physical better and as a

[00:04:34] life coach I assume it's the same thing except you're working more on this part of the body instead

[00:04:39] of the muscles and all that right well and it's interesting because I was flipping through

[00:04:44] the depression playbook which we'll talk about at some point here uh and physical fitness and

[00:04:49] you hear it over and over again all the time that physical fitness is such a your physical health

[00:04:54] is such a big part of your mental health they're so tied together and so it's always interesting

[00:05:01] to me but when you feel like shit it's the hardest thing to fucking do yeah like I feel awful I don't

[00:05:09] want to do anything I just want to sit here and you're telling me I need to go for a fucking walk

[00:05:15] like each shit yeah I would sit on a couch yeah yeah have a beer like that's my physical activity

[00:05:22] today is like lifting up beer to my face yeah yeah yeah right no but they should make heavy

[00:05:31] or beer cans I know like I tried many times to get back on the workout routine because there was

[00:05:46] about a year and a half where I started working out because I was really overweight I was

[00:05:52] huffing and puffing I was snoring I didn't sleep well and I hated every single day that I went

[00:06:00] to the gym I only I was only doing cardio I wasn't doing any any uh strengthening exercises

[00:06:05] necessarily but I hated every day going to the gym but I left absolutely fantastic I slept better

[00:06:12] and I lost weight right yeah it was I could eat a pound of bacon and not feel bad about it yeah

[00:06:18] yeah and uh and it's just then I fell off the wagon and I've been trying to for the last three

[00:06:24] years I've been trying to get back on it yeah but you do some physical activity yeah I play hockey

[00:06:29] but then I also go eat a pound of wings and do some beers after that so that's probably it

[00:06:34] probably balances itself out at least it's not making it worse no yeah yeah but it's it's said

[00:06:39] that every day like I'd love to it's so stupid because it's 15 minutes 20 minutes a day probably

[00:06:45] what I need and I have that 15 20 minutes but it's not far enough there's 15 and 20 minutes to

[00:06:53] decide to spend yeah so anyways yeah we'll get it all over we're just chatting right now

[00:07:00] Carlo we're rambling a little bit here but this is that's why our show is it's unscripted

[00:07:06] and it's you know we're not prepared really for anything just I don't know having a conversation

[00:07:11] and see what happens but what we usually normally do on this show is we check in so whether it's

[00:07:16] a daily check-in or a weekly or in the last month how we are doing mentally physically whatever's

[00:07:22] going on in our lives it just kind of gives us a good perspective to know where where we are yeah

[00:07:27] we use a number system I don't know if you've listened to the show much but we use a number system

[00:07:31] one to ten so ten obviously being the best

[00:07:41] let's go with this week this past week the week before was pretty tough like it was low

[00:07:47] low low numbers for me I had a death in the family and a bunch of work stress stuff and just

[00:07:53] it was all piled on but this week actually feel pretty good I'd say I'm like six and a half or seven

[00:07:58] now like I've come back I've had a good week it's been every day this week is just gotten better

[00:08:03] and better and so it's been yeah it's been really encouraging this last week so and this next week

[00:08:09] I'm going to the cabin for a week so I'm like feeling about that too so I think like I'm a seven

[00:08:15] right now and like knowing I'll be a seven all next week when I'm at the cabin yeah perfect I

[00:08:20] don't ever really go past a seven just Carlo for you to understand my baseline is kind of a six

[00:08:26] seven if I'm an eight like holy shit yes something's wrong yeah something if I'm an eight

[00:08:33] something's wrong if I'm a four something's wrong tell me you I'm running around a seven

[00:08:40] seven eight yeah been I've been super busy for the last few days because I recently just became

[00:08:47] a single parent for only for 12 days though my wife is on a trip in France and so she's just

[00:08:56] like yeah I'm going to France oh by the way the kids have 40 million and my son has certain

[00:09:03] activities and my daughter has a competition in there too it's like oh great and a birthday party

[00:09:08] awesome love it but it's been good it's been busy it's been steady and actually I somehow

[00:09:15] I managed to find some time to actually relax as well so it's good it's it's good like I'm I'm

[00:09:21] starting to manage my life a little bit I mean for the last couple weeks so that's good nice

[00:09:26] to win yeah exactly so there's I'm waiting for something to go wrong like horribly wrong because like

[00:09:32] this is not normal okay Carlo how are you doing yeah so I'm in a nine right now guys and I'm

[00:09:41] feeling good I'm feeling great you know yesterday it was kind of like a 50-50 day you know I've

[00:09:47] got like 50 percent I feel freaking phenomenal but in the other 50 percent it's like I feel guilty

[00:09:52] because I'm not doing anything but the reason why I kind of like justified that was that normally

[00:09:57] like Saturdays are like my last working day and Sundays it's like I'm doing nothing but I realized

[00:10:05] that my fiance yesterday she went up to DC hang out with her friends she had like some college

[00:10:10] alumni thing going on and I was like well I know I kind of the work tomorrow you know I have this

[00:10:16] awesome podcast in the record then I got on a date later on today so I was like you want

[00:10:20] today Saturday let that be like my lazy day so I just had like a dragon ballsy marathon yesterday

[00:10:27] I laid normal path with my dog but then I was like I should get shit done so I had that like

[00:10:35] back and forth with myself no you're not take a break but banter back and forth but I don't regret it

[00:10:44] I had I don't drink really I'm I'll drink maybe on occasion but like yet last night something

[00:10:49] possessed me to have a beer okay I'm gonna have a beer and watch some dragon ballsy that's like

[00:10:54] it's great that sounds like a lovely evening yeah that's awesome yeah no that's you know what it's

[00:11:02] I actually have that happening quite often where I tell myself you know what I'm gonna sit down

[00:11:09] and watch a show and halfway through the show I'm like oh what are you doing dude you have so much

[00:11:12] work to do and then again the other part of you's like yeah but you're exhausted you deserve it

[00:11:18] and then go back to it's like I have the little devil and angel on my shoulder right

[00:11:22] but just two devils though yeah but at the end of the day if you manage to get your work done

[00:11:29] then it's okay to take a break yeah well and I think like balance I mean you guys talk

[00:11:34] to this work life balancing but even just balance in your life like whether that's the amount of time

[00:11:38] you spend relaxing or the amount of time that you spend in yourself to like build yourself back up

[00:11:45] or work on yourself whether that's physically mentally whatever that is and then like the reward

[00:11:51] you get from doing work and accomplishing things and stuff it's such a hard I constantly struggle

[00:11:57] with that because I feel like if I'm just sitting watching a TV show or like just taking having

[00:12:02] a chill like one part of that feels good to me but then again like there's that thing in the back

[00:12:08] on my head it's like yeah but like you could just do work and that always feels really good

[00:12:13] and it's just like also I work probably way too much I think that's fair to say

[00:12:19] yeah but that's doing it out of what I believe to be necessity right now and maybe others would say

[00:12:23] I'm wrong but but then it's like oh okay I got to work I got all this work to do everything

[00:12:28] this is so important this is so important but then it's like I forget like oh also what's

[00:12:34] important is spending time with my wife or contributing at home or spending time with my daughter and

[00:12:39] like there's so many fucking things that all want me that all want and need or my best friend

[00:12:44] who I barely see like it's just it's 60 million things pulling me in every direction and

[00:12:50] I feel like they're all important yeah Carl what do you do with that like what do you you must be

[00:12:56] a busy guy I'm assuming you're obsessed with your work to a certain extent and yeah yeah it's

[00:13:03] it's so many mention that because I actually had a conversation about this I'm part of this

[00:13:07] mentorship right now and we were actually on that same subject and I actually asked that question

[00:13:12] I was like you know how do you prioritize the priorities what do you do I want to know how

[00:13:17] you structure your day because there are days where I feel like I should be doing more but it's

[00:13:22] so funny especially from you know this side of the world how we're always go go go go and we

[00:13:28] need to get this done get this done then you get some other part of the world it's like show mellow

[00:13:33] so yeah I don't do well in those places I mean no I do I can I can but I can't I just

[00:13:41] thing in the back of your head yeah you work yeah I think there's just like the way we've been

[00:13:46] brought up in this particular part of the world in this society that we have a hustle you know

[00:13:50] 24 7 grind wake up before and morning to your cold plunge and then you know

[00:13:55] work 19 hours and then do the same thing next day and it's so funny because in that conversation I had

[00:14:02] it was understanding the balance so for me everything's balanced everything's simplicity you know

[00:14:07] I like I'm a Star Wars fan so you know I gotta be balanced with the force so the way I like to look at

[00:14:13] it and it was a brilliant point brought up to my mentorship is as long as you get the work done

[00:14:20] you hit the main priorities you knock them out do what makes you happy do what makes you fulfilled

[00:14:25] so there's this one day this was like a week or two ago while this conversation was still fresh in my

[00:14:32] head my fiance she works more so in the evenings she's a dance teacher so she teaches kids after

[00:14:40] the dumb school so she has the afternoon spirit and normally like I work in the mornings till the evening

[00:14:45] and then I'm done by like seven o'clock so now she gets home you would do our thing but then I was

[00:14:51] like I want to spend time with her like I want to enjoy this so I'll never forget it was a Friday afternoon

[00:14:59] I sat down the couch with her and I was like so what are we doing she's like aren't she working

[00:15:03] I was like it can wait what are we doing and we just relax and just day whatever we wanted

[00:15:09] and then after she left her work that's where I started to do my work and I felt fulfilled in both

[00:15:14] ends time with my fiance we connected I felt good about myself I didn't feel guilty for missing work

[00:15:22] but then by the time she left I was doing my thing and I was getting everything done as long as I hit

[00:15:27] my priorities and my non-negotiables then it was a good day do you actually how much structure do

[00:15:34] you put to that like in your day to day yeah so for the most part it is pretty routine like the

[00:15:41] same thing kind of happens every day she has the same schedule I have the same schedule so for

[00:15:45] the most part I do work in the mornings till the evening because she does have some other things going on

[00:15:51] so I am a big fan of just like time blocking and making sure I hit a certain priority at this time

[00:15:58] spend this much time on it move on to the next task and I am a stickler for that like I need structure

[00:16:05] I need to do that so if an hour goes by and I'm done with my conversations on social media or I'm

[00:16:12] done doing contract negotiations for keynote I'm delivering I have a time limit and not a minute

[00:16:19] goes by sometimes it does but the idea is I should not go by and you're still working on that

[00:16:25] project move on so while it's time I'm done I can take a break I can take my dog for a walk

[00:16:31] I can eat lunch like I can do these things that I want to do while still kind of

[00:16:37] formulating my non-negotiables around that okay man I like structure do you like structure no I like

[00:16:45] chaos do you yeah yeah I think I work better under pressure and like I can't I want to believe I work

[00:16:53] better yeah is that the truth or is that the adjustment you had to make I was never like the

[00:17:00] guy that like I had to follow the schedule have a structure it was just I think I work better if I

[00:17:06] if things get thrown at me and okay let's see what we can do in how fast we can get it done

[00:17:12] and how good we can get it done yeah I think you're much if it really works with me or with

[00:17:18] my you respond you respond really well to urgency and chaos yeah like way better than I do I do

[00:17:25] really poor in that environment I just I just get angry and I freak out and like I can't handle

[00:17:30] that my wife is unbelievable in chaos like she thrives oh she's in that environment and I just so

[00:17:37] we have a we have a good system in our marriage and in our relationship in our home because it's

[00:17:42] like oh this is a Rachel thing or oh this is a Tim thing like if it needs structure and it needs

[00:17:47] like a plan or you know it has time to do what it does or needed needs I'm the guy so and then if

[00:17:54] it's like we need to do this right now or this needs to happen right now like I just back the

[00:17:59] fuck off and let her take the lead because she's just so much better at that so like my wife left

[00:18:05] for 12 days now and she's like oh we need to sit down and like go through like your every day

[00:18:11] like what's going on I'm like no it'll be fine like I have a calendar it's fine

[00:18:16] she literally took like one of those calendars where you have like extra 10 lines under each day

[00:18:21] and like she wrote out for me like this and so here's the thing if I didn't have that would I get

[00:18:28] stuff done sure would I maybe miss something possibly do I appreciate the schedule 100% yeah okay

[00:18:36] so it's yeah it's I like I like me living in chaos but I do appreciate the schedule then and

[00:18:44] planned out the plan you know I hate chaos so much let's let's get into so you've found our

[00:18:53] Instagram page right and you reached out and thank you for that I that means so much that anybody

[00:19:00] actually looks at our page and strikes up a conversation yeah right but so we we had a little

[00:19:07] chat and and you've talked about some some really dark times of your life and I think it would be

[00:19:13] nice to go back to that and just kind of briefly touch on that but what made you become

[00:19:20] Carl O'Tarreino today yeah so if we go back you know ever since I was a kid I've always wanted to

[00:19:28] do something significant you know I've always wanted to make my mark in the world I've always wanted

[00:19:33] to help people that's just kind of been my thing I'm just a kid my mom would back me up on that

[00:19:39] and I just didn't know exactly what I was gonna do it was just this like voice in the back of my head

[00:19:46] and when I was about 18 I found fitness I found the gym I fell in love with it and then a couple

[00:19:52] years passed by I was like you know what I think I can make something out of this let me marriage

[00:19:57] create a marriage between my passion and what I really want to do when I love just fitness and

[00:20:01] helping people and that started for a little bit and then I became an online coach and this was

[00:20:07] during COVID time and during the year where I fell apart basically and wasn't due to COVID it was

[00:20:14] to other circumstances which I'll get into a moment and what I realized is that yeah it was fun

[00:20:20] helping people but at the same time I was so focused on the results I really wanted not of course

[00:20:27] I wanted to help people but I was so focused on the significance part of it of oh let me build a

[00:20:33] business let me make a bunch of money a financial freedom I see on Instagram every single day let me

[00:20:38] you know get a six pack let me look shredded let me because if I could do these impossible things

[00:20:45] then that would be proof to me I can do anything and I literally said that to myself but what I

[00:20:50] didn't realize it was that that was self-sabotage and that was destructive because deep down subconsciously

[00:20:57] that was me telling myself that I was not good enough yet so when I do achieve these external

[00:21:04] things and when I get external validation they'll be good enough to do x, y and z so that was like my

[00:21:11] fuel and every day that passed that I was not living up to that standard it kind of chipped away

[00:21:18] at myself image and it made me feel worthless it made me feel like a loser like a failure

[00:21:24] and every day that passed by it chipped more and more and more so all the sudden

[00:21:30] it comes up to this one week I like to call it my hell week and this is where like literally

[00:21:35] everything that could go wrong did go wrong and I was like what the hell happened no

[00:21:39] no no at the time I wasn't doing my online personal training business full-time I still had a 95

[00:21:46] I was a gym manager I worked at this club and I managed it and right before Christmas right before

[00:21:52] my birthday like a five from that job and I was like okay goody this is great on top of that

[00:21:59] I suffered a really bad back injury I don't know if you're too familiar with back injuries but

[00:22:05] Tommy very much is five s one which is like the most painful thing ever I wouldn't wish it on

[00:22:12] my worst enemy and it was up to a point where I couldn't walk so the last thing you want is not

[00:22:17] able to walk lay down your bed all day and think that's like the worst thing you should do yeah yeah

[00:22:23] and then to add insult to injury there was this young girl I was seeing you know we were

[00:22:28] matty in love she was the one who was saying I'm gonna get married have kids and I thought it was

[00:22:34] something that was real all of a sudden she called me one day she was like yeah I'm gonna break up

[00:22:40] and I was like whoa okay and then to add more insult to injury like I mentioned before I was

[00:22:46] an online coach I had my own business I started my entrepreneurial journey problem was

[00:22:52] that I was losing so much more money than I was making I was making all these investments

[00:22:56] getting coaches putting ads out spending so much money just to make something but nothing was

[00:23:03] happening and I was losing money and I was going crazy and what happened next was like I just kind

[00:23:10] of took a step back out of myself and looked at the situation as a whole and I asked I was like

[00:23:16] what the hell just happened like what did I do to deserve this what's wrong with me why me

[00:23:24] and I asked that question for a year and it came to a point where I just quit I gave up

[00:23:31] I said myself I was like what's the point of trying if I can't succeed what's the point

[00:23:36] of trying so hard when I see these like 13-year-old girls on TikTok dancing they're

[00:23:43] fucking millionaires and sorry my leg you know you can go for it this is off but I became really angry

[00:23:49] and envious and I was like maybe I'm just not meant for this maybe there's something wrong with me

[00:23:55] maybe I'm just literally a loser like I literally told myself I was a professional loser

[00:24:02] and if losing wasn't an Olympic sport I'd be a gold medalist and I ran with that story for

[00:24:10] a year and I literally laid dead every day for a year eventually I could walk but I chose

[00:24:16] not to because I just didn't care I stopped speaking to family and all I did every day was

[00:24:21] lay in bed watch TV play games do anything to distract myself from thinking it was so bad man like

[00:24:28] I couldn't look at myself in the mirror because I hated who I saw I just could stand that guy

[00:24:36] so while this was during this like did you have like when someone goes through such a dramatic change

[00:24:44] like that what like obviously from the outside to others it probably would have looked like oh he's

[00:24:49] hustling he's got a shit together he's like you're and you're trying so hard to project that

[00:24:54] image meanwhile you're fucking falling apart where where their friends or family or people in your

[00:25:01] life at that point that kind of noticed what was happening or that you were you talked to was there

[00:25:06] was there any of that happening or were you just inside yourself and shut out from everybody

[00:25:12] what was that do we're you trying to disguise it to the outside people and this was an internal battle

[00:25:17] or what happened during sort of has how did that melt down it was both actually because I found out

[00:25:24] like when I was in this current state I was like happy go lucky and I was like oh I'm gonna save the world

[00:25:29] what I want when I was in this position I realized I was suffering from these emotions far before

[00:25:36] December happened but I realized I was suppressing all of it and like that

[00:25:42] need for significance was fueling me so I didn't internalize it a lot but then when like it really

[00:25:48] hit the fan when I was like telling myself I told my family which was the hardest thing to do

[00:25:54] I told I told them I was like I'm depressed like and I want to kill myself

[00:26:00] like that's never a easy conversation no I told my mom she was the first person I told

[00:26:05] and it was so hard and that's what everyone knew so it was kind of a mixture of both.

[00:26:11] And did they like was there what was the process after that like you say something like that you have to

[00:26:17] you think at that point you're gonna do something to change it did you go see did it like I'm

[00:26:23] depressed I want to kill myself did how did your mom react to that what it was her sort of response

[00:26:30] um definitely not easy you know and obviously you know I knew for her it wasn't something to take

[00:26:38] lightly I knew like she was not sleeping at all she was constantly worrying about me

[00:26:44] and also she knew what I was going through but like I wasn't talking you know

[00:26:51] as much as she may have wanted to have a conversation with me it just didn't happen

[00:26:55] and when it did happen it was the same stuff over and over again so it was exhausting for not only

[00:27:00] hurt my entire family and it was this unsolvable riddle almost it's like what is the answer what can we do

[00:27:10] so they mentioned different ideas like oh go to therapy which I was headed to at first but

[00:27:15] I was kind of talked into it and I did it oh let's do this do you need a psychiatrist now

[00:27:21] do you need to do antidepressants like what can we do and it was just this nonstop answer wheel

[00:27:30] that was running on that they were running on without a solution

[00:27:33] mm-hmm and did you do those things like did you go to you said you went to the therapist

[00:27:38] your facial expression didn't sound like you were very excited about that experience

[00:27:42] oh no no no because like oh here's the thing so it was extremely difficult to tell my mother

[00:27:51] and my father and my brother and sister hey guys I'm depressed and I'm gonna kill myself

[00:27:57] like that was like the hardest thing to do I had a muster up so much courage to do that

[00:28:03] and now like in my point of view how I was thinking at the time was like

[00:28:08] now you want me to tell a complete stranger over zoom what I just told you

[00:28:13] like that's not happening yeah I was headed to at first but my mom was like please just do it for me

[00:28:20] I was like okay I'll do it and again I wasn't the biggest fan of it I did it you know the

[00:28:26] the therapist I was thinking too at the time she was the most lovely person like I still have

[00:28:30] her contact information like phone all the messenger hey very Christmas how's everything going

[00:28:35] like she's awesome but therapy didn't help me in the way I wanted it to like I might have gotten

[00:28:42] a couple of cool nuggets here and there it's kind of funny I actually kind of used them for my

[00:28:46] clients but it didn't help me it was just a bunch of talking and I was like how do I get better

[00:28:52] what's going on why can you do better nothing's improving that's the only thing I did really I didn't

[00:28:58] do medication I'm personally I'm not a big believer in antipräsident that's just me I didn't want

[00:29:03] to go to psychologist psychiatrist that's just yeah I think well I didn't want to do anything else

[00:29:08] yeah so when did that start when when did you figure out okay I got like you're laying in bed for

[00:29:14] a year you're watching TV and just beating up on yourself which obviously that I was we should

[00:29:21] talk about the we'll go into this your playbook but like there must have been a moment where it's

[00:29:27] like okay I gotta do something different because this isn't working and you're not a stupid guy you

[00:29:34] would been through this process you know how to hustle you know how to look at yourself and

[00:29:38] you need to change the way you do that obviously in that moment but like you have some of those tools

[00:29:43] sitting there available to yourself when did that shift what happened yeah so this was in November

[00:29:52] of 2021 where like this shift started to happen and I was like put on this path to finding my

[00:30:00] breakthrough so I remember my family wanted to go out to lunch one day like hey come out with us

[00:30:05] and I said no like I'm staying in bed lean your low and they're like come on and they eventually

[00:30:11] talk me into it I was like okay I'll go to lunch with you guys and I live with my parents at the time

[00:30:15] which is only another thing that contributed to why I felt the way I felt yeah I want to

[00:30:21] lunch with my family and it was the most awkward lunch ever like I was just sitting there eating my

[00:30:26] salad you know talking to nobody just me in my little corner and then after the meal my brother

[00:30:32] said hey ride with me I was like okay so we're riding and then all of a sudden the parking

[00:30:38] driveway and then we have about like a 10 minute conversation in the car and this was like

[00:30:44] that put me on the on the yellow book road so puts the car in park he's like

[00:30:51] what can we do man like what is something we can try to get you out of this hole and I said there's

[00:31:00] nothing like I'm a goner stop worrying about me I know it's not something you want to hear but

[00:31:07] I give up there's nothing that's going to work and he said I'm your brother I would do anything

[00:31:14] for you you're my brother would you do anything for me and I said of course he says I need you to do

[00:31:20] me a favor now I was like shit I have to help him move so he was like okay I need to be a favor

[00:31:32] I need you to try something different leave the house go on a trip do that and I said no like

[00:31:40] you know how hard it was to go out to lunch with you to go out to the fucking cheesecake factory

[00:31:45] and have lunch with you and now you want me to go on a trip like no I can't do that he said

[00:31:52] what do you have to lose and then I let those words sink in and like those words penetrated my

[00:31:59] body and it was as if like time stood still and I was the only person in the universe and

[00:32:05] it was like I had to click remote I just passed pause for a bit and I let those words sink in

[00:32:11] and I was like that's actually true like I literally have nothing to lose this point I have nothing

[00:32:19] you know I already made the plans you know I'll write a clock out yeah and as I let those words

[00:32:27] kind of dive deeper and deeper I did two things and this is what really helped me get on that path

[00:32:33] was I kept telling myself I don't want to die like I don't want to go anywhere I will stay here

[00:32:40] and I shifted my focus from the life I was living to the life I wanted and I just kept saying that

[00:32:46] over and over again and then the second thing that really helped me was I don't know how this came

[00:32:52] to be but I imagined somebody struck a match and that tiny little flame on the end of the

[00:32:59] matchstick was like the real me it represented the real Carlo the guy who was funny the guy who

[00:33:05] was ambitious the guy who wanted to help people and even though it was really small it was still deep

[00:33:11] down there and like later my gut and then the more I thought about that flame it just grew it grew

[00:33:18] and then after what felt like an eternity within my own thoughts I finally responded I said yes

[00:33:25] I'll go and my brother was like full filled with excitement okay okay uh well where do you want to go

[00:33:33] and I said I don't know somewhere warm because at the time in november it was a little cold here in

[00:33:38] Virginia and I was like let's just go somewhere warm he said okay uh where I said I don't know

[00:33:45] Florida I said the first place that came my mind yes and then he was like okay well where do you

[00:33:50] want to go I said soon let's just get it over with and then he said do you want to go with me

[00:33:56] do you want to go alone what's the plan he and I said please come with me I don't go alone he's like

[00:34:02] okay don't worry about it I'll send you the details tonight that was a Sunday we were leaving on

[00:34:09] a Tuesday and playing tickets said West Palm Beach Florida we didn't know where West Palm Beach

[00:34:17] Florida was and it was on the east coast the west coast of Florida we didn't know where it was he

[00:34:23] just picked it because it sounded sexy yeah yeah it's really the only reason I picked it well

[00:34:27] he's jumping on a he's got a window of opportunity to help yeah so like get on it maybe he

[00:34:35] got a group off of West Palm Beach Florida I don't know is your brother married yes oh well that's

[00:34:41] another reason you want to you know when you're married you just sometimes you just need to leave

[00:34:44] right away too was this trip for him for you but when we left man it was like immediate

[00:34:56] regret I was like why did I leave my bedroom like why are we in Florida right now I don't want to

[00:35:03] be here and my brother was the exact opposite he was like two looks like jet skis let's go on a

[00:35:08] fishing trip let's run bikes like let's do something you've never done before or in a long time

[00:35:14] I was like let's just go back to the room I just want to lay bed

[00:35:18] and then the next day the same stuff happened you know I was like I don't want to do anything

[00:35:23] and then we were just sitting in front of this like restaurant cafe thing we're like

[00:35:28] sitting on this like picnic table and he's just silent he's like okay I booked us something to do

[00:35:36] I'm not gonna tell you just follow me and that filled me with so much anxiety I was like what are

[00:35:42] we gonna do are we going to some nightclub yeah are we going to array somebody gonna die like

[00:35:49] what's gonna happen yeah and he's like a shut up and follow me like like a good brother would say

[00:35:57] he is like he's notorious for doing that like he won't talk but he like when it's like something

[00:36:03] important he doesn't say shit like so excited anticipation and maybe it's ridiculous

[00:36:09] so we're walking we're walking and then all of a sudden we're at the stoplight we're about to

[00:36:14] cross the street and in front of us there is the west palm beach convention center

[00:36:18] and before the light changes for us to do the crosswalk I'm just looking and then all of a sudden

[00:36:23] I see like the marquee sticking out of the ground and the sign says Tony Robbins

[00:36:30] unleashed the power within and it looked at my brother and he didn't say shit who's like

[00:36:37] like

[00:36:39] I was like are you serious and to give you context I'm not affiliated with Tony Robbins this is not

[00:36:44] a picture him but he's my fucking best

[00:36:48] keep my brother and I were like big fans yeah we always been in that self-development personal growth

[00:36:55] yeah arena and it was so funny because we actually had a conversation about him like

[00:37:01] 30 minutes before my brother booked it because again my brother and I didn't know he was down

[00:37:06] there we didn't know what he was doing it just it was the by-time thing I say so my brother apparently

[00:37:12] booked his tickets to go to this event and we signed up we did the whole thing and then we're at

[00:37:18] the event and I remember and if anyone doesn't know about Tony Robbins events like you're in a roomful

[00:37:24] 10,000 people and if that wasn't so if that wasn't me having social anxiety enough I don't know

[00:37:30] what was but I remember having that feeling again like I was the only person in the universe times

[00:37:35] stood still and I was just sitting alone with my thoughts and I just kept saying myself I was like

[00:37:42] a skeptic at first I was like I hope this isn't like a concert like a vacation type experience

[00:37:50] where like in the moment I'm feeling it and like having a good time but then when it's done it's

[00:37:55] like okay back to reality I'm so grateful it was not that at all in fact in that event

[00:38:02] it literally opened my eyes to what life is really about how I found my purpose and from that moment

[00:38:10] like the light bulb went off and it was like a universe was communicating with me telepathically

[00:38:16] it's like this is what you're supposed to do and I got it clear as day where I told my brother

[00:38:22] I told myself I was like hey I don't want to go anymore he gave me a big hug and said I'm so proud

[00:38:27] to you and I knew from that moment I wanted to help people I want to help guys just like I was in

[00:38:33] that position who are in that dark tunnel right now I just wanted to shine a light to tell them

[00:38:38] hey there is a way out follow me I found it hopefully this can help you too and ever since that day

[00:38:44] on November 13 2021 that's what I've been doing that's fantastic I love the full story

[00:38:53] and one thing I was thinking the whole time that you know the tournament Robyn saved you no it was

[00:39:00] your brother who took you but then did your brother really save you from you no like you saved

[00:39:05] yourself from you because you went out for that lunch or dinner with your family and that's what kind

[00:39:11] of got the snowball roll right took a small risk yeah and it's it's we mentioned it on our show

[00:39:18] so many times it's those little steps that really matter because it can turn into something great

[00:39:22] and it's amazing I'm happy that you're still here with us and and you're doing what you're doing

[00:39:27] so that's great hey Tommy among all the episodes we've recorded you know there's one common theme

[00:39:34] and that's getting therapy we've talked about it lots many many times yeah to really tough time

[00:39:40] making that first phone call I had a tough time making that first phone call I didn't even know if

[00:39:45] the person I was going to see was the right person but you got to just try thank goodness we have

[00:39:51] a sponsor that makes it way easier now better help has an online platform that allows you to fill out

[00:39:58] a questionnaire they connect you with a therapist and you get to communicate with them however you want

[00:40:03] so whether that's text messaging that's emails that's through their app that's video chats you get

[00:40:09] all those options and it makes it way less scary to be connected with someone and if you're not into

[00:40:15] the person you talk to they'll sign you another one right away I've gotten a sign mine already and

[00:40:20] I can't wait to use it like by the time you hear this I will have had my first session

[00:40:25] and I'm super pumped to talk about it on the show yeah I'm very excited about it and like it's

[00:40:28] very easy to sign up it took us maybe five minutes to sign up and you answered just simple questions

[00:40:36] and next thing you know you got a message that the therapy will be paired up with a therapist

[00:40:42] and within the same day we got the therapist already the name and a message from them

[00:40:47] and we were able to communicate with them so it's extremely easy so please go to

[00:40:52] better health dot com yeah that's the thing better health dot com slash quiet riot show and you

[00:40:59] get to also enjoy 10% offer your first month if you sign up using this link so again right here

[00:41:07] I'm gonna be doing it from here yeah it's better health and my screwing it up dot com slash quiet riot show

[00:41:14] um yeah sign up today and uh you'll you're not gonna regret it because I'm already enjoying it

[00:41:21] just the fact that we connected with therapist me too man thank you to better help for supporting this

[00:41:26] podcast what led you to start writing the playbook uh I wrote that what maybe like four to six months

[00:41:34] ago I guess we should tell people what the playbook is yeah yeah sure what's the playbook so the

[00:41:40] playbook I wanted to make it as easy as possible as simple as possible like a depression for

[00:41:47] dummies essentially so I basically took all the lessons that helped me and some that put that

[00:41:57] so the problem for me with that makes sense it's not the end all be all Bible of if you're to press

[00:42:04] read this book of course I want every man or every person to read this book is hopefully it shows

[00:42:09] something that you may not have been aware of but how I wrote the book and why I wanted write the

[00:42:14] book and the sequence of the book was because I remember when I was in that state I was like a

[00:42:22] maniac trying to find my way out you know I was finding a needle in a haystack and I was googling

[00:42:28] reading articles watching YouTube videos reading books listening to podcasts on how can I cure

[00:42:34] depression and even though I was receiving Bible information at the time it didn't see in that way

[00:42:42] speaking to my therapist same thing I was like this isn't solving anything like I was going

[00:42:47] to the gym and being broccoli solving my problem and I understood that and I wanted to write it from

[00:42:52] that place and I just took things that not only are information you can find anywhere when you search

[00:42:59] how it overcome depression but I wrote down like the one thing I did not see and that was you need to

[00:43:06] move your body not saying just go to the gym but you need to change your physiology in such a way

[00:43:11] like move your body radically for just two minutes like if you're dancing to a song anything that does

[00:43:17] that for you that changes your physiology in your body language to put you in a different state instead

[00:43:23] of clarity that was like the first thing I wrote in the book from one of the first things I wrote in

[00:43:28] the book and then I wanted it to explain not only what it helped me but the other steps you made

[00:43:35] fear about another self-help book to whatnot and I wanted to write that because I was like I don't see

[00:43:40] this in the market I don't see this you know there are people still to press out there why you know

[00:43:48] and I wanted to write this as an additional tool for people for men for any professional or individual

[00:43:54] who just wants to improve themselves and I just thought it was another resource I thought

[00:44:00] was something that anybody can do and you know I just wanted to make an impact somehow and that's

[00:44:05] just where I thought the idea of rain book that's awesome so I was I was scanning through it and I'm

[00:44:11] I'm gonna actually I'd go through the whole thing and read it in detail but you know it just

[00:44:15] picking out some of the little things I noticed in there like a that maybe that's actually a great

[00:44:19] way to put it there's a bunch of little things that you talk about in there and little exercises

[00:44:25] that you can do and it like you just said like move your body for fucking 90 seconds like if yesterday

[00:44:32] you couldn't move at all like try 10 seconds today or go to a separate room like if you're hiding

[00:44:37] in your bedroom and this is one of the actual examples from your book but if you're hiding in the

[00:44:41] bedroom all the time which is what you did uh go to the living room spend 10 minutes in the living room

[00:44:48] and maybe tomorrow go to the kitchen or like little tiny little things to break the cycle your

[00:44:55] body's in and your your nervous system's in and your mental state is in that keep you stuck in the

[00:45:01] bedroom and I thought that was very interesting because so much of what we do is just the same thing

[00:45:08] we did yesterday and so I talk about this with my wife sometimes too she talks about it is

[00:45:15] your body remembers all those things and it reacts accordingly and when certain things happen

[00:45:20] it releases the chemicals that it released when those things happened whether that was two years

[00:45:26] ago 10 years ago if you don't retrain your body to respond differently can you sort of maybe comment

[00:45:32] on that because you're a your trainer you're a physical health guy you probably have a big understanding

[00:45:37] of what that that relationship is between feeling good and physical health and mental health and

[00:45:43] all that stuff maybe that's a bit of a broad statement but well I understood

[00:45:51] this fact that really kind of opened my eyes and hopefully when I say this it kind of opens the

[00:45:55] eyes of people listening is it's one thing to understand something on a cognitive level but it's

[00:46:01] another thing to actually feel it you know so if I were to talk to a smoker right now it's

[00:46:06] hey smoking's bad for you Bob is Bob really gonna quit smoking he knows it's bad for me he's not

[00:46:12] gonna quit smoking yeah I'm not but if somebody were to actually feel it and feel why in their body

[00:46:20] I should quit smoking then it's gonna cause that reaction so what really helped me was doing

[00:46:27] this active learning and active interactive thing that's why the book is interactive and that's why

[00:46:34] I was putting you a state to take action and actions like one of the biggest things I wrote a book

[00:46:39] is just doing it so from that personal training side or just the physical movement side

[00:46:44] once I changed my bilingual language and I was legit in that room dancing acting like a fool

[00:46:50] you know or sprinting in place doing jumping jacks what it wasn't doing it just for the sake of

[00:46:56] doing it and having a good time in partying it was actually setting a signal to my brain

[00:47:02] that is producing and releasing serotonin in my brain which is the mood losing hormone

[00:47:08] there not to be all sciencey and geeky on everyone but it's like if I could literally create a

[00:47:12] magic pill that I don't have to take I just legit move for a radical period of time

[00:47:20] it's literally making me happier like no BS it's like reducing the symptoms of depression

[00:47:24] reducing the symptoms of fear anxiety sadness and not only is it making me

[00:47:30] happier and who made a better state but it's putting me in a state of mental clarity where I can

[00:47:35] make better decisions so the easiest example is like everyone to go to the gym and they go to

[00:47:41] the gym in the mornings and the snooze are alarm because the bed was comfortable they're in a

[00:47:46] state where they're comfortable and they're in a state to not really make the best decisions

[00:47:50] but if you get out of bed you do a cold plan to get cold shower or get into a peak state

[00:47:55] out to call it and like dance for a minute you're then in a better state to make a better decision

[00:48:01] and that's why I think movements is something that is so crucial depending on whatever you do

[00:48:07] you know if you need to make an important decision change your physiology if you want to achieve

[00:48:11] something that's really at a high level you need to be at the high energy as well

[00:48:17] what are some tools people can use or have to encourage themselves to do that when it feels like

[00:48:24] shit yeah or what are some tools that you used or that you do use or have learned over the years

[00:48:31] seen other people do because not everyone at not the same format doesn't work the same way for everybody

[00:48:38] like everyone needs a little bit of like you taught you know doing jumping jacks or dancing

[00:48:43] or going for a walk like there are a bunch of those different things that can cause different

[00:48:48] reactions uh what are some of the tools people can use what do you tell people when it's like hey I

[00:48:53] can't get the fuck out of bed how do you convince someone to do that for a minute we're not convinced

[00:49:00] some but empower them to do that for a minute I know I was there because I didn't want to do jack

[00:49:05] shit either and what really helped me was doing a couple things and maybe people can do all of them

[00:49:12] maybe people can just really resonate with one once I stopped negotiating with my brain and realizing

[00:49:20] that my brain is just meant for me to survive it's not meant to make me happy so if I just

[00:49:26] tell my brain to shut the fuck up I know that sounds super mean and oh you're just saying you

[00:49:32] make it sound so easy when it's not trust me I know but once I understood the truth of what my

[00:49:37] brain is actually meant for and I just stopped negotiating with it and I just literally just stood up

[00:49:43] if I can just stand up that's like step one and when as soon as I stand up I'm already in different

[00:49:48] physiology and then taking a baby step from there and just doing micro adjustments okay

[00:49:54] grab my headphones listen to a song start to do it too step I'm just speaking hypothetically

[00:50:00] yeah if that doesn't work and like you legit do not want to get up I used what I learned as

[00:50:06] like the rocking chair technique which something that was really impactful for me and it was essentially

[00:50:14] taking fear instead of fear using me it's me using fear because I understood my position what I was in

[00:50:23] I knew I couldn't live the rest of my life like this you know because if I did I'd be an old man

[00:50:29] in my rocking chair who's 85 years old and so depressed and has not accomplished anything so I really

[00:50:35] to reel that image in my head and I like close my eyes I envision myself actually as this old man

[00:50:40] rocking back and forth on my front porch and I felt if I continue my life 60 years just like this

[00:50:48] not moving being depressed being cynical you know not doing a thing I'm gonna suffer for the next 60

[00:50:55] years so instead of letting the fear of failing again with fear of getting my heart broken again fear

[00:51:05] of whatever it's not letting that control me let me use fear to my advantage let me use fear

[00:51:12] as my fuel so do I want to be that 85 real man in the front porch hell no I need to do something now

[00:51:19] and that's what lit the fuel or lit the fire or my seat to get up and to do something different um

[00:51:25] and I think that's just a couple different ways people can find useful sort of harness that fear

[00:51:31] and turn it in this I mean I guess fear itself releases certain chemicals in your brain

[00:51:36] and you can probably take advantage of them or not like yeah no I was the same way like when uh

[00:51:43] this was what I talked about on our first one of the first episodes but same thing I saw

[00:51:48] these people actually at my 95 job that you know when I said hey how are you doing they're like

[00:51:53] yeah it's fucking place you know they're just miserable and and I'm like oh my god that's gonna be me

[00:52:00] if I don't make a change you know and yeah like that fear of almost like you see the future you

[00:52:07] and if you're happy great but if you're disgusted like I was yeah then there's something wrong

[00:52:14] and something needs to that change has to come from somewhere right then I think that's just kind

[00:52:18] of the first step but yeah so where you are at right now with uh with the uh the life coaching

[00:52:28] like so you do everything online like tell us something about like what you do today to

[00:52:33] help yourself and help others as well absolutely so I do you know essentially one thing that spreads

[00:52:40] the different avenues so obviously I do like life coaching performance coaching you know

[00:52:46] one along with clients I'm doing right now starting a like a men's inner circle where we do

[00:52:51] a monthly coaching group call I'm doing that I do keynotes you know so regardless if it's for like

[00:52:57] a mental health community or even it's like business consulting I'm doing business consulting

[00:53:02] I have something that I'm doing in April which is a really nice opportunity where it's still taking

[00:53:07] those same principles but implementing and how you've been in business so I'm doing a lot

[00:53:11] you know it's that way trainings workshops and then getting clients from those as well doing podcasts

[00:53:17] and uh that's pretty much like the bulk of what I'm doing so it's a lot but it's like the best

[00:53:24] yeah do you do you as a lot of yeah are you traveling like do you travel much with this stuff or do

[00:53:29] is your client base kind of a more local focus yeah so if it's like my clients everything's online

[00:53:36] yeah if it's maybe an online workshop online summit mastermind again it's probably remote like this

[00:53:44] but I'm in negotiating right now to do business consulting with a business insurance company

[00:53:49] and they're gonna fly me out in the Midwest to do it in person training and same thing with my

[00:53:54] keynotes if there's like an in-person conference they'll fly me out and I'll do a 45-60 minute keynote

[00:54:00] so it's a mixture of those cool you might not love the Midwest if you haven't been there

[00:54:06] I mean I like variety it's like where we live it's the same as where we were

[00:54:11] oh yeah all about to see it now if I were to stay there and live there that might be a different story

[00:54:16] fair enough you know I so I kind of I guess you're when you're mentoring or when you're coaching people

[00:54:26] is that some in a way helping you as well to that you found your path because you you

[00:54:33] wear on this path and then it wasn't going anywhere you fell off into depression right

[00:54:38] are you is this kind of helping you right now these days where now now you see the results you

[00:54:44] you've because you've pushed through some tough times and and at the end of the day I think every

[00:54:50] entrepreneur will experience that feeling of failure or not moving forward right because there's

[00:54:58] really no top at entrepreneurship no there's no there's no seal because you get to the level that

[00:55:04] you wanted to get to there's always going higher do you feel like you've you've made it now

[00:55:10] and now you're opening up to doors to new opportunities and new higher goals it's so

[00:55:17] funny you said that because my personality type is like I'm never satisfied you and me both buddy

[00:55:23] like I need to do something different now I don't have an end goal in my mind you know that's

[00:55:28] something that's not going to be for another five or ten years that's my end goal so I know

[00:55:33] I have something to work towards there but like as far as right now it's like this is just step one

[00:55:38] okay like what you call like this and do my keynote it's just step one like growing this not to sound

[00:55:44] too dark sidey but like I'm gonna go this empire right I want to help people I'm a surre going to

[00:55:50] leave my mark in the world and do something before I leave this place make it better in some way

[00:55:57] before so by the way that's the second star was referenced you get a third one that's three strikes

[00:56:04] you're out not on this side of the table just kidding I'm just kidding I just had to throw it

[00:56:17] out there we should have a rule about yeah like the pre-call for having it okay we cannot

[00:56:25] have a star was referencing yeah yeah it should be it should be part of the emails we sent before

[00:56:31] the show sorry sorry I like it but yeah you know this is just step one and when I help my clients

[00:56:42] when I do my keynote you know a big thing that's like really surreal for me is it's like I'm getting

[00:56:49] that same feeling over and over again you know like I'm seeing my clients or seeing like the

[00:56:54] like the person in front where where I'm speaking to it's like I'm seeing myself do that transformation

[00:57:00] all over again if the most like fulfilling feeling ever and I remember I'll never forget I

[00:57:06] um I had this one client who I literally had one call with like my mentorships like three months

[00:57:13] I had one call the guy and you know he was unfortunately depressed he was feeling like anxious you

[00:57:19] know he didn't believe in himself like a lot of us entrepreneurs do we have these living beliefs

[00:57:25] and he just didn't know what to do and after this one call he's like Carlo oh my god I don't know

[00:57:30] what you dig to me but I don't feel depressed I know what I want like I'm feeling great and then

[00:57:35] like the rest of like the two months and 29 days for example he like he was just breaking through

[00:57:41] ceilings and it was the best feeling ever and it was like seeing myself again and I was like oh my

[00:57:46] god I'm doing this every day it was amazing yeah so what have you ever thought of like

[00:57:54] what if you fall back to the same depression levels if

[00:57:59] because sorry how did I how did I say it properly so are you worried that

[00:58:06] you're doing what you're doing you love doing what you're doing but you're gonna get to that point

[00:58:11] where like maybe it's not enough and you feel like you need to do more but are you worried

[00:58:15] that you're gonna fall back to the to the same depression depressed level that you because you

[00:58:20] you were you know putting all that content out and you were working towards a goal

[00:58:25] but maybe he wasn't going as as good as you wanted and you said you you're never satisfied so

[00:58:30] are you worried that you're gonna hit that point again what you're doing today um I'm not worried

[00:58:37] no no make some sense I'm not worried for a couple reasons one I told myself because in before

[00:58:43] when we started this podcast I told myself like oh if I could achieve this impossible thing

[00:58:47] that'll be proof to me I can do anything well I didn't realize my impossible thing was actually

[00:58:52] overcoming depression and suicide so I can like use that I'm like oh wow okay I did that I guess

[00:58:57] super hard now I actually it's kind of funny imagine that because like back like a year ago I was

[00:59:03] doing those things those same feelings you know I'm not good enough I'm a loser I'll be yeah

[00:59:08] those same things were coming up but not to sound too cliche not to like sound like a weirdo but

[00:59:15] now I literally have a playbook like I'm yeah what to do like back then I didn't know jack

[00:59:22] yeah but now like if I need a tool I could put out my toolbox like I know what to do so that way

[00:59:27] when I'm in this state I don't have to break out of it because I would align to you guys I told you

[00:59:32] that I'm happy every single day and nothing ever bothers me and I never get mad or stressed out

[00:59:37] I do full of shit yeah I come from Italian lineage it's like I'm 100% blooded Italian like if this

[00:59:45] knows couldn't tell you my last I can get a little spicy sometimes so I have methods that I can

[00:59:56] go to right now I can pull out of my back pocket it says Carlo do this and I do it answer in the

[01:00:02] recent button you know I mean that's just what we have to create it you've created a set of tools

[01:00:07] for yourself through the success you've had getting out of it that preventive reprogrammed yourself

[01:00:13] to respond differently to that scenario and so I think that's such a huge thing like one

[01:00:18] thing about going through a period of depression like I did the same I've been through a similar

[01:00:24] period and one thing about going through that is if you get out the other side and you have a

[01:00:29] chance to reflect upon what got you out to the other side you have a set of tools that will never

[01:00:34] ever go away and you will never forget them in my mind I that's my experience is coming out of that

[01:00:41] on the other side like yeah do I still get depressed sometimes I get sad of course I'm a human I have

[01:00:46] normal human experiences but man coming out of that it's like oh that didn't take me down

[01:00:52] what did I do to get out of that and like I can just do that again and maybe it's a smaller increment

[01:00:57] maybe instead of being depressed for six months I'm depressed for six hours or six minutes or six

[01:01:02] seconds like it's you that's what I do is like just look back and I don't look back on that as

[01:01:07] something that's gonna cause me to like remember and recall the trauma look back at it and go

[01:01:12] fuck I made it out yeah and like what did I do to make it out that's what I need to do in this moment

[01:01:18] well it just it just kind of hit me right now like you writing your own playbook on how to get

[01:01:24] out of depression is essentially it's what a cheat sheet is when you're getting ready for a test

[01:01:31] and you got to write yourself like a little cheat teacher allows you to write cheat sheet because

[01:01:37] you're actually learning when you're writing that shit down yeah and and that's what it is right

[01:01:41] like for me I I I was skim through it and I liked the ideas but I don't see myself using a playbook

[01:01:50] when I'm feeling down because I don't like reading that's not me I need somebody to tell me

[01:01:56] hey go to that other room and jump do jump in jacks for like 60 seconds right

[01:02:01] so give it to your life well but yeah that's the thing if I read it I'd be like okay whatever so

[01:02:07] but yeah exactly like I love it that you've you've found this tool that that is helping you

[01:02:11] and helping others obviously which is fantastic how can how can our listeners get their hands on

[01:02:18] this playbook absolutely so of course you can just get it go to my Instagram give me a follow

[01:02:24] of course you know some love yeah of course and you can actually get it in the link in my bio you

[01:02:31] can find the book and I don't know if it's allowed if it's not please tell me otherwise but if

[01:02:36] somebody did get value from this yeah I would love to offer a free strategy call just for me to

[01:02:42] help you no strings attached if you want to dive deeper and if you want to help that way so I'm

[01:02:48] up to do that yeah good no plug plug yourself absolutely give yourself a plug we'll throw all the links in

[01:02:52] our prop description and on the screen as well so well thanks caro so much for taking the time on your

[01:02:58] well I guess yesterday was your lazy day so today you're working so no I really appreciate

[01:03:03] you taking the time sharing your story with us uh I think there's so much I say this I think

[01:03:08] every fucking show but every time we do one of these I get as much value out of it I get more value

[01:03:13] out of it than I expected yeah and uh I want to thank you for being so generous with your knowledge

[01:03:17] and your time in your story and um just happy that you reached out and I'm glad we had a chance

[01:03:23] to do this and I'm excited to follow the next five years of your life and see what you turn it into

[01:03:28] I think that's super exciting and we'll plug you and we'll tell all our listeners whatever

[01:03:33] yeah it's carlo tower mina underscore life coach fantastic so we'll throw it all in there yeah

[01:03:42] thank you very much Carlo I'm very happy we were finally able to line up our schedules I know we

[01:03:48] have to sorry some of that was my fault yeah I just remember sending him a message like hey when we

[01:03:56] were scheduled the first time like hey we just for sure happening and I'm like oh man sorry

[01:04:01] we have to reschedule it worked it all worked it all worked it's a nice enough guy and uh and I

[01:04:08] appreciate you being on our show for our listeners please check us out at uh on if you're following us

[01:04:13] on Instagram great but if you're not go to quiet ride show and follow us on our youtube channel

[01:04:19] subscribe please rate and review our show as well if you're listening on apple it means a lot to

[01:04:25] us and send us an email if you have a question for me Tim or even Carlo uh we can forward it to him

[01:04:31] or you can just send him a message on instagram but our email is quiet ride show at gmail.com and

[01:04:38] we'd love to hear your story or any questions you have forward the show um Carlo we uh we'd like

[01:04:44] to thank you by we're gonna send you one of these mugs we have our own quiet ride show mugs we give it

[01:04:50] to each and every guest that came to our show so we'll exchange addresses after the show and uh

[01:04:56] we'll send you one of these and then we expect you to take selfie and uh post it and plug our show

[01:05:02] and all that stuff oh that good stuff you know but it's gonna be I will hang it on my coffee parts

[01:05:08] that's perfect thank you guys thank you so much I really appreciate you taking the time to do this

[01:05:13] with us of course you know it's an honor you know i'm glad that you guys can get platforms let me

[01:05:17] share my story again and hopefully again it helps somebody out there because name the game

[01:05:22] that's what you guys do what you do thanks again Carlo for being here i hope you enjoy the rest

[01:05:25] you buddy thank you all quiet ride show episodes have been recorded and produced by suver media if you

[01:05:35] think you have an idea for a podcast but don't have the space or proper equipment please visit suvermedia.com

[01:05:41] for more information we hope you enjoyed this episode and if you did please hit the follow button

[01:05:46] and leave us a review if the platform you are listening on allows you to do so subscribe to our

[01:05:52] youtube channel the quiet ride show and follow us on instagram page at quiet ride show please share

[01:05:58] this episode with others that may be interested in these topics if you know anyone that would enjoy

[01:06:02] these topics feel free to share our podcast with them also let us know what topics you'd like to see

[01:06:08] covered in future episodes get in touch with us in the comments on our channel and social media or

[01:06:14] send us an email to quiet ride show at gmail.com